The 24 hour engagement.

[disenchanted]

Long-time lurker.

After some rough patches in my relationship, went on a nice weekend away with my girlfriend. Proposed. She said yes.

Drove her home last night. Got to her place, she took off the ring, handed it to me and said "I can't marry you, and we shouldn't see each other anymore."

As I said, things had been a bit rough lately as we were trying to sort out some issues. Marriage had been talked about quite a bit, and last weekend she said she didn't want to go on this trip...until I said "Ok, let's take the pressure off and just have a fun weekend then." (this trip had been planned originally as THE BIG WEEKEND.) Asked her before we left "So, you said you needed more time...is this something you'll be able to communicate with me about, or am I just going to have to take a chance at some point in the future?" Her response: "Don't tell me about it, don't ask me about it...I want to be surprised."

Thought we'd turned a corner. Thought things were better. Got wrapped up in my head that if I didn't take action soon, it would be worse. I listened to my heart. I proposed. She said yes. We were happy, for a day.

My heart is an idiot.

So I'm sitting here trying to make sense of it all. I'm hanging on to the idea that when it all became more real, she panicked and reacted.

I'm just smart enough to know that there's very little I can do to make things better, but a multitude of things I can do to make things worse. So I'm currently all about giving her time and space. I'm not calling. I'm not driving by her place. I'm steering clear of her friends and family. I'm not standing outside her window with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel songs.

For myself, I'm holding it together hanging on to the hope that it was just a panic reaction and that it could turn around at any moment. I'm kind of hanging on to that to get through today so I can go back to work tomorrow and just busy myself with work to get through the week.

I'm suppressing the ideas that tell me that now is the time to take action, to win her back, to convince her that she was misguided...whatever. Those ideas got me into this mess.

I'm aware that this could be the end of it. I guess I'll have to deal with that as it comes.

But I could use a little advice from any of you willing to throw in two cents.