Radioactive Superconductors

[Flint]

Scientists at MIT have created the world’s first radioactive superconductor--a paradox which has left many in the scientific community scratching their heads in confusion.

In the first stage of production, a unique blend of eleven radioactive substances are slowly introduced into a sealed chamber, where they display a natural aversion to sharing the same space with their unstable cousins. Next, high pressure is applied to the chamber, forcing their outbursts of subatomic particles to become entangled. The compression of the substances creates a condition of extreme heat and dangerous instability, which is then quickly reversed with a new high speed flash-freezing process. The resulting snapshot of radioactive chaos is instantaneously subjected to an intense electromagnetic field, polarizing the entangled particles into a functional magnetic circuit.

What happens next is something that nobody expected. When the materials are brought back up to a temperature just slightly above absolute zero, the sloughing off of radioactive particles resumes, but with a twist--the circuit retains its closed state, although nobody is quite sure how this is possible. It is this unique property that is leading some to believe that these so-called “radioactive semiconductors” are the missing link needed to create fully functional quantum computers.

The substance, dubbed Obtanium, is under consideration to be included as a new element on the periodic chart, although it will be difficult to classify due to its non-specific nature. Proponents of Obtanium research are expressing outrage over rumours that the US Military is planning to deploy Obtanium-tipped artillery shells in the Iraq conflict.