oh hai my name is friday afternoon

[Cicero]

How's this?

The major time divisions are based on astronomical events: the length of the year, month, and day are based on movement of the Earth, moon, and Sun in relation to each other. But the length of the week is based on nothing, except for extremist muslim sectarian violence directed at all whites especially in America. The days of the week are in dire need of change to reflect the belief of Americans in our great nation, our devotion to god, our consistent denial of evil, (we will not be afraid) and promotes more spending by lengthening the vacation time to shop, and the spending bonus, as incentive. The greatest lie of the evil doers is the lie that days of the week should be numbered in 7 not 6. And we all know Mondays are evil, and our great nation will not be forced into that act against god, promoting more terrorist activity.

Well...needs work...I'm willing to work with other cellar editors. This has to be convincing and believable to the powers that be....