College

[Undertoad]

You can't deny local culture and values. And there's the rub, too, that we keep ironically whiffing on. Ib seeks acceptance. Let everyone with experience answer the following questions about acceptance.

1. By local customs, culture and values, who would be treated in a friendlier manner by everyday people on the streets?

A) A New Englander visiting someone in the south
B) A southerner visiting New England

2. An African-American is more likely to be middle-class in:

A) Utterly confirmed red state, Atlanta, GA
B) Utterly confirmed blue state, Boston, MA

3. Marlboro College says their mission "is best served when students experience a wide variety of ideas, opinions and cultural backgrounds." Do you expect that Marlboro College has a very wide variety of ideas, opinions, and cultural backgrounds?

A) Um maybe
B) Are you kidding me.

4. If Ibby goes to Marlboro, will he be permitted to turn his guitar up above 3?

A) Sure, why not? His dulcet tones will be heard throughout the wood-construction house-style living areas.
B) No, this chick will surely cast the deciding negative vote at the Town Meeting.



5. If Ibby goes to Marlboro, will he get laid?

A) No, these chicks have a lot of baggage; their sexual harrassment policy is 5000 words long and includes a compliance coordinator and a official board of six people
B) He'll probably get all 330 of the students, male and female, and two-thirds of the professors.