I need a new job (long, windy, and whiney)

[footfootfoot]

As some of you know I've been working on my house and working on other people's houses and construction projects for a while. I've acomplished a lot, I'm told. I've crossed a lot off my lists and there is still a lot more to do. Lot lot more. It doesn't feel like I've done all that much when I look ahead, and looking back doesn't give me that delicious afterglow of satisfaction that it once did. (Now there's a job well done.)

I'm feeling a bit crispy around the edges, not setting of the smoke detector yet, but I can feel it coming. A panicked "is something cooking?" kind of feeling.

I've been throttling back and taking more time out with the family and friends. I actually finally got sick after living with Captain Phlegm Junior and his darling mom, both of whom would send typhoid Mary scurrying for cover. Months without so much as a sniffle from me, despite CPJ drinking out of my cup and or sharing my grilled cheese sandwiches.

A week ago I got one of my patented bronchial "do you double dog dare me to become pneumonia?" chest colds.

So, in the midst of all this I recently began feeling "what the fuck? what the fucking fuck?"

I have not been working for pay enough since I am working on getting my house wrapped up. If I go back to work and let the house ride a while I make between $25 and $35 and hour swinging a hammer. It's not so bad when it is for someone else, but still I get that "how the fuck am I gonna make it through this day?" feeling at times.

I'm thinking the money's probably pretty good, the work is lately ON, though it can also be OFF. Sometimes, I have to turn work down since it often all comes at the same time and I don't like having multiple jobs open. Other times I have to turn work down since it is just me and it can be hard to find minions.

I have lately been thinking about going back to photography, the only other thing that I can do which would pay decently (1500-2500/day) It is rare to work everyday unless you are in a metro area. We are not, unlikely that I could bring in that kind of dough for a while, it would be complicated starting up a photo biz in my area and it would mean long hours away from family and a large investment in new gear since my non digital gear is effectively obsolete.

I've thought of going back to baking since I really loved that work (25 years ago) but I don't think I can survive on what that pays unless I owned the shop.

I'm feeling physically beaten up by the carpentry and frankly, I'm not the best carpenter on the block. I'm pretty good and can do delicate, refined work very well, but the general rough framing, I'm not quick and often make just plain dumb mistakes. comparitively, as a photographer I could shoot a few hundred sheets of film in a day, a few dozen set ups and not make any mistakes. I could do it drunk or hungover or half asleep.

I'm wondering if I should do a cash out refi and hire a bunch of carpenters to come and get the house done in a few weeks. Probably cost me 20 thousand bucks. Or I just keep on plugging away and it costs me 2 thousand bucks.

I'm feeling all midlife crisis like.