12/15/2002: Drunken moose

[Undertoad]

This might have made a Friday, except that you can't really tell just from looking at this guy why the shot is interesting.

This moose is drunk.

Norwegians have been on alert for drunken mooses recently. It turns out that they had a long and exceptionally warm summer. This caused some fruit, specifically the apples that the moosies like to eat, to ferment right in the skin while ripening.

This makes me think. Wine and beer have been found to have been produced very early in history - just as early as the development of civilization. And generally they have a religious connection/connotation.

When you think about it, how could it not. You're a simple early people with little understanding of the world. Your tribe comes across an orchard or an area with natural vines. The fruit is sweet, but when the harvest time comes, it transforms into something that gives you visions, makes you dizzy and a little sick. It's all magic to you; you don't know there may be natural yeasts on the skins of the fruit, and you don't know when the sugar content becomes high enough for those yeasts to take an interest and convert it to alcohol.

You might conclude that God converted that fruit for you to get closer to him. And just as the fruit was at its sweetest!

The following year you take the fruit and squash it for beverage, and you make clay pots to keep it in. And the liquid changes! You put fruit into the vessel, and sealed it; now when you open the jar, the contents are harsh and bitter and give you the same visions as last year. More magic!

And then the older people in your tribe figure out that the people who drank the beverage did better than the people who drank the (unpurified) lake water. It's all over; this beverage is definitely a gift from above.