September 27, 2006: Big-ass caterpillar

[Saknussem]

I happen to be SEVERELY allergic to insect stings, bites, basically, anything involving them up to and including awkward meetings and shy conversation at cocktail parties.

One of the most dangerous critters in all of North America for me to meet happened actually to friggin WALK ACROSS MY BACK a few years ago. This bad ass beastie was identified to me as a "Lesser Yellow Fuzzy Caterpillar". Why is it so dangerous, you have to ask? No, really, I hear you out there . . . You, with the Dell laptop, I hear you...well, let me tell you...

This thing, this beast from hell is dangerous on two levels:
A) Its legs contain powerful hystamines which cause an person who is allergic to have a reaction including swelling, closing of the muscles around the larynx, itching, sweating, and skin irritation (hives, blisters, etc) and
B) Its cute, little fuzzies all over its back? Well, those have one of the most powerful neurotoxins in North America for its size, and those little bastards get into your skin with all the usual reactions, sweats, hot flashes, cold flashes, numbness, loss of breathing, the usual fun stuff.

All I can say is:Thank GOD for epinephrine and Benedryl. I chugged half a bottle of Bennie, hit myself with my autoinjector, called 911, and passed out on the front steps --woke up with the ambulance guys being worried over me. But I lived to tell the tale (obviously) so now, whenever I see a caterpiller, well, I don't give a shit that some cute ass butterfly is the result, I squash em. bastards. every one of em.

Death to the buggies. Long live the Praying Mantiseses (what the HELL is the plural of that anyway). Ciao