"Bakery Fresh" Crap For Your Kids

Pangloss62 · 07-05-2006, 12:29 PM

Every once and a while I'll see some horrible idea and its inane marketing and I want to scream. Microwaveable meals are bad enough, but when their labeling is so self-evidently ridiculous, I feel like I'm living in a hellish parody of reality. Then it sinks in: "No, Brian. This is the real world, and billions of people buy this crap and FEED IT TO THEIR CHILDREN!" I actually start feeling sick and depressed. Yesterday it was a box of Lunchables Hot Dogs:

The package I saw proclaimed that the rolls in which the slaughterhouse waste sticks rested were "Bakery Fresh." Are you fucking kidding me? Your buying pre-cooked, preservatives-injected, shrink-wrapped hot dogs and you're gonna actually think or care that the friggin rolls are "Bakery Fresh?"

Or "Hey, Oscar Mayer. What the fuck do you mean by "Bakery Fresh? That they actually came from a small bakery where some guy with a big white hat and covered with flour lovingly dotes over small batches of hot dog rolls that he then carries to your processing plant in a basket just minutes after they come out of the brick oven?"

How could any thinking parent buy such shit and feed it to her own children? The only conclusion is that they DON'T think at all. One visit to the supermarket and I'm convinced that the majority of Americans are just a bunch of idiotic automatons. In 1996, Oscar Mayer celebrated the production of the one billionth LUNCHABLES® Lunch Combination. As another blogger put it: ONE BILLION OF THESE BRIGHT, COLORFUL LITTLE SHIT BOXES! Wow. Among their "healthy" concoctions are Pepperoni Pizza with BUTTERFINGER® and CAPRI SUN® Juice Drink or Cheesy Chip Nachos with Fudge Squeeze and CAPRI SUN®

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07-05-2006, 12:29 PM	#1
Pangloss62 Lecturer Join Date: May 2006 Location: Atlanta Posts: 768	"Bakery Fresh" Crap For Your Kids Every once and a while I'll see some horrible idea and its inane marketing and I want to scream. Microwaveable meals are bad enough, but when their labeling is so self-evidently ridiculous, I feel like I'm living in a hellish parody of reality. Then it sinks in: "No, Brian. This is the real world, and billions of people buy this crap and FEED IT TO THEIR CHILDREN!" I actually start feeling sick and depressed. Yesterday it was a box of Lunchables Hot Dogs: The package I saw proclaimed that the rolls in which the slaughterhouse waste sticks rested were "Bakery Fresh." Are you fucking kidding me? Your buying pre-cooked, preservatives-injected, shrink-wrapped hot dogs and you're gonna actually think or care that the friggin rolls are "Bakery Fresh?" Or "Hey, Oscar Mayer. What the fuck do you mean by "Bakery Fresh? That they actually came from a small bakery where some guy with a big white hat and covered with flour lovingly dotes over small batches of hot dog rolls that he then carries to your processing plant in a basket just minutes after they come out of the brick oven?" How could any thinking parent buy such shit and feed it to her own children? The only conclusion is that they DON'T think at all. One visit to the supermarket and I'm convinced that the majority of Americans are just a bunch of idiotic automatons. In 1996, Oscar Mayer celebrated the production of the one billionth LUNCHABLES® Lunch Combination. As another blogger put it: ONE BILLION OF THESE BRIGHT, COLORFUL LITTLE SHIT BOXES! Wow. Among their "healthy" concoctions are Pepperoni Pizza with BUTTERFINGER® and CAPRI SUN® Juice Drink or Cheesy Chip Nachos with Fudge Squeeze and CAPRI SUN® http://toddanthonydirect.typepad.com...bles_good.html __________________ Things are never as good, or bad, as they seem.

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