The Beauty of Two Pink Lines

[Clodfobble]

I found my winner for Most Presumptuous Person. Every pregnant lady has at least a few contenders (and unfortunately they are usually all relatives) but I am honored to present this award to the new blonde waitress at my favorite Mexican restaurant, where I eat at least a few times a month.

As I sat down, she attempted to take my drink order. More specifically, she asked, "Can I get you a Sprite, or a decaf iced tea?" (Now this was not grossly out of line, since it's a commonly-held myth that pregnant women are supposed to avoid caffeine, though the reality is that they should simply not have ridiculous amounts of caffeine, on the order of 6-7 sodas a day. And even then, there are conflicting studies.) I told her Coke would be fine.

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume that her eyebrow only twitched because she's got a facial tic. Christ, it's not like I was ordering a damn margarita.

I knew what I wanted, so I went ahead and ordered what I've gotten every time for at least the last 8 years, the Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas with Queso Verde Sauce.

"And would you like to substitute a fruit cup for the rice and beans?"

...

Uh, no. I'm not in the habit of going to greasy Mexican food restaurants for their fresh fruit, lady. I'm surprised she didn't drop off the check with a few pre-natal vitamins in place of the mint.