Your Valentine could be a psychopath!

02-10-2006, 12:39 PM

I agree with Dar. Addicts/Alcoholics love to make THEIR problem YOUR fault. I wouldn't go around saying to your sister, "You'll never change," but on the other hand I would not give her a level of trust that she has done nothing to earn. By all means, keep your valuables locked up and if you feel a need to help her, buy a couple bags of groceries for her, rather than giving her cash. Stuff like that.

It is certainly unfortunate that those were your sister's last words to your mother, and anyone would feel bad about such a thing, but it sounds as though your sister is using the incident to sink into morbid self-pity and giving herself yet one more reason to use. You might remind her that she does not have that kind of power over others. Her words do NOT cause people to go around dropping dead.

I was involved for a while with a man who was alcoholic (I sure can pick 'em!) I learned a few things in the process, though. The reason alcoholics/addicts use is because they are addicts. Period. An alcoholic will get drunk to celebrate good news, just as he will get drunk to drown his sorrows. Its not what happens to them or how others respond to them that cause an alcoholic to drink. He drinks because he is an alcoholic. Same thing with druggies.

The corollary of the above is that the addict's problem is addiction. Whatever was going on with them before they picked up the drug has now become irrelevent in the face of their addiction. So your sister's problem is not that you don't believe her, its not that she was shown a bad example by your Dad, its not that she had to go to jail, its not that she said something mean to your Mom. Her problem is that she is a drug addict. End of story. Don't let her get away with telling you otherwise.

View Poll Results: Choose any that would describe the person at least 50% or more of the time
They have a history of many broken relationships, failed jobs, former friends	1	16.67%
They lie easily and smoothly, sometimes even about trivial things	2	33.33%
They lack realistic goals or plans for the future	1	16.67%
They lack true empathy for others, despite the fact that they may claim to be caring or kind	2	33.33%
They consistently began to have trouble in school/and or with the law by their teenaged years	1	16.67%
They have a sense of entitlement that is not earned by anything they have actually accomplished	1	16.67%
They have an inflated sense of their own importance, often putting others down	2	33.33%
They don't speak of their past experiences or mistakes and what they learned from these things	2	33.33%
They are charming, easily make friends (at first), strike up conversations with strangers	4	66.67%
They are quickly bored, often restless, short attention span	2	33.33%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

02-10-2006, 12:39 PM	#15
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	I agree with Dar. Addicts/Alcoholics love to make THEIR problem YOUR fault. I wouldn't go around saying to your sister, "You'll never change," but on the other hand I would not give her a level of trust that she has done nothing to earn. By all means, keep your valuables locked up and if you feel a need to help her, buy a couple bags of groceries for her, rather than giving her cash. Stuff like that. It is certainly unfortunate that those were your sister's last words to your mother, and anyone would feel bad about such a thing, but it sounds as though your sister is using the incident to sink into morbid self-pity and giving herself yet one more reason to use. You might remind her that she does not have that kind of power over others. Her words do NOT cause people to go around dropping dead. I was involved for a while with a man who was alcoholic (I sure can pick 'em!) I learned a few things in the process, though. The reason alcoholics/addicts use is because they are addicts. Period. An alcoholic will get drunk to celebrate good news, just as he will get drunk to drown his sorrows. Its not what happens to them or how others respond to them that cause an alcoholic to drink. He drinks because he is an alcoholic. Same thing with druggies. The corollary of the above is that the addict's problem is addiction. Whatever was going on with them before they picked up the drug has now become irrelevent in the face of their addiction. So your sister's problem is not that you don't believe her, its not that she was shown a bad example by your Dad, its not that she had to go to jail, its not that she said something mean to your Mom. Her problem is that she is a drug addict. End of story. Don't let her get away with telling you otherwise.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)