The Newbie Quizzes

[Kozmique]

I can see I'm going to have to be careful around here. Or whatever. My dad was a grammar nazi and of course
I would be quite careless with language just to irk him. I had to. He used to hand out grammar-police tickets to complete strangers who didn't even know he was eavesdropping on their transgressions.

1) Jagger or McCartney? Jagger. McCartney is a robot.

2) Steak with Potato or Salad? Both

3) Beer, wine, or scotch? Beer when I'm feeling thirsty, wine when I'm feeling snooty, and scotch when I'm feeling the blues.

4) 1968- Camaro or Mustang? Mustang. Well, actually I couldn't care less about cars. I only picked it because I once had a Mustang. It was actually a terrible car. I called it the Frankenstang.

5) cut or uncut? Do I look like a sadist? Uncut!

6) breast or leg? breast

7) Blues Club or Honky Tonk? It's all good

8) hate PETA or NRA? Both! Extremists should all be put into a big room and allowed to claw and shoot each other to bits until the rest of us are left to live in peace with the choices we are smart enough to make for ourselves.

9) food allergy? no allergy, but gluten intolerance - it makes me itchy. Acupuncture helps.

10) pot or crack? Crack is scary! Especially when it's on some chick at the bar and you're sitting across from her trying to eat your steak and potato and salad. Gross, man!