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Old 01-30-2006, 08:05 PM   #1
marichiko
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Torn Between Two Friends

Friendships are relationships, right? Well, whatever. I don't know where else to post this, so here is my problem:

I joined an online support group for those who have been involved with SO's who turn out to be ax murderers about a year ago. I felt an instant affinity for "A" whose experience seemed much like my own. We became good cyber pals and have e-mailed each other often over the past 10 months or so. I also became friends with "B" who was co-manager of the board. B has also e-mailed me and we have spoken on the phone, as well. Her advise has been invaluable.

Recently A and B have been going through difficult times in their personal lives and have had a falling out (A and B used to be good friends, as well). A e-mailed me and told me some things B had supposedly done behind my back and swore me to secrecy. I was very distressed both at her information and at being sworn to secrecy. Her story made sense in some ways, but not others. I was left with this bombshell of B's betrayal sitting in my lap and yet wasn't supposed to talk to B about it.

Well, this did not sit at all well with me and after thinking it over for a couple of days, I finally confronted B with A's information. B was shocked and gave a very plausible response to the things A had told me about. She asked me to send an e-mail to A on her behalf.

I sat down to write the e-mail and thought about it. My direct experience with these two has been nothing but kind treatment from them both, although I don't appreciate A sharing wierd gossip with me (whether true or not) and then asking me to keep it secret. This feels like high school stuff to me, but a huge board war has ensued over it. I just sent an e-mail addressed to both A and B and told them that as far as I was concerned, they were each my friend and neither had wronged me directly and I could only go by my direct experience of them both.

Did I do the right thing? Please share your wisdom with me on this one, oh Cellar Dwellars!

Last edited by marichiko; 01-30-2006 at 08:08 PM.
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