Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

[lookout123]

A) i'm not giving up yet. i have faith that all things can be resolved.

B) i know that if this ends in divorce that i will survive. i know there are other fish in the sea. i know it is entirely possible that i will find another to my liking. my feeling though, is "why bother"?

before we met, i was a serial dater. that was about the only think i was really, really good at during that time. i'm not talking just sex - i had a few dating relationships where i was the one they called to go to "upscale" locations and we never ended up in the sack. it was a lifestyle. one that i enjoyed. (the thought of it revolts me, now).

all that changed the moment i met her. i had already had one date that day, and had another planned for that night. i met her and my life instantly changed. i felt it happen and knew it for what it was. 5 minutes later called my date for that night and canceled. i never believed in love at first sight or anything like that before then. i certainly wasn't looking for it. but for 7 years i have not had a thought or a decision that she didn't factor into somehow. a wonderful friend, excellent conversationalist, intelligent, well traveled, adventurous, wild, and the single best lover i have ever had, bar none.

the thought of ever finding someone that compares to that experience... i don't know.