Childfree by choice

[elSicomoro]

First off, there is the word itself: childfree, not childless. My definition: A person that consciously chooses not to have children.

I personally would say that the movement is growing, although the internet could be the unifying force of the various groups out there. Some of them are quite militant. They will call children womblice, crotchfruit, or cunt nuggets. You won't hear it out of my mouth. I honestly love children; I just don't want my own.

For me, it started about 3 years ago. I have never really felt a real desire to have children of my own, but was willing to have one as an "appeasement" to Mimi (my ex-fiance).

After our breakup, I finally put my foot down. Any woman that was going to be with me would have to understand that I do not want children. Fortunately, I found one that is probably more militant about it than me.

--
Of course, I have my reasons for not wanting children. Some people will use population stats and hard logic for theirs. Mine are simply personal reasons:

--No real desire (as previously mentioned)

--Too selfish: I like focusing on myself and Rho too much. I don't feel like sharing that attention. I want Rho and I to be able to do whatever we want (within reason of course): traveling, shopping, laying around naked, whatever. Having children compromises that.

--I like the current world, but I don't think it's a very good one for children.

--I like bouncing around as you may know (3 cities in 4 years, possibly #4 coming up). I could never do that to a child without scarring or uprooting them.

--
Now, for those that have children, that's great! I hope you are financially and emotionally stable enough to provide a good quality of life for them...IMO, the core requirements for being a parent. And I hope they grow up to be good citizens of our world. (Griff, you rock!) After all, without people having people, our human world would cease to exist.

Obviously, childfree people come as a surprise to some. I don't know the exact reasons, so I can only assume:

--The true purpose of reproductive organs is to produce offspring. Makes enough sense.

--To some, it is unnatural. After all, we grow up, get married, have children, live to hopefully get old, and die. Childfree people throw somewhat of a wrench in that cycle.

--It's selfish and self-centered. Why WOULDN'T you want to share your love with a child?

These are valid points...but they don't move me.

--
The responses commonly posed to people who state that they are childfree (and my rebuttals in italics):

--"You'll change your mind." (Nah. Three years now...I didn't come to this decision on the drop of a dime. I don't see my mind changing on this.)

--"God will provide for His own." (First off, your God is subjective. Secondly, this isn't something you can just wing financially-speaking. That's irresponsible and unfair to the child.)

--"They're a true joy." (Indeed they are. But I have no interest in having them.)

--"There is nothing like the miracle of childbirth." (I'm sure it is. That's something that you will be fortunate to share in...I'll pass.)

--"Why would you deny your parents grandchildren?" (First off, it's not about them; it's about ME. Although my parents are somewhat saddened by my decision, they're supportive of it. Lastly, they are not the ones that will be having a child, waking up with it, paying for it to go to college, etc. And I would never push it off on them either. I have to be concerned about my own happiness, not someone else's wish.)

--"Don't you want to carry on your family name?" (Family history is important, but I simply won't bear a child to carry on the name. Besides, I have cousins that have already carried on the Blastenbrei name.) (What I am thinking when someone says this: "Are you fucking kidding? I haven't talked to my father in 8 years...he's basically a fucking sperm donor. My father's family is dysfunctional as all hell...and it's bad enough that my cousins have already reproduced. Blecch!")

--
Finally, we have the militants. Yep, they can be some mean ass bastards. On one hand, they make me sick...it's like they forgot that they were children once. They spew garbage that only makes us look bad. On the other hand, I feel bad for them. They're probably fried from getting so much flack and shunning from their family.

--
So, that's pretty much it. Like it, dislike it, whatever. I merely ask for respect and understanding.

UT, I'd be curious to hear how you came to your own conclusions on the matter...or anyone else for that matter.