My friend recovering from breast cancer

monster · 10-26-2009, 08:27 PM

This is a continuation of the other thread but I really needed a fresh start because -no offence intended- that had become a little maudlin and about losing the fight and this is my place for letting off steam about my friend's fight and I very much don't want to think about the death possibility even though of course it's always there in the back of my mind.....

Anyhoo. It's been praying on my mind today because she had her first post-surgery visit with her oncologist. We were all apprehensive because the pathogy on the removed lymph nodes showed cancer in 7 of them. Post-chemo. This would sound scary anyway, but when the surgeon's right-hand-bitch-with-absolutely-no-fucking-people-skillz called the day after the surgery she said "we found cancer in 7 nodes, but don't jump ship yet" WTF is that supposed to mean if not "you're fucked, panic now"?

I emailed my friend this evening and she said

"Today was not the horror show I feared it was going to be. The radiologist actually never showed up--after 2 1/2 hours!--but we got to spend an hour with the chemo dr and ask a million questions about the pathology report. it's a big blah blah fest all the info I have running around in my head that I could relate...so I'll just tell you when we walk tomorrow"

So I'm still not a whole lot wiser but it sounds like they feel there is still light at the end of the tunnel -and not the type you have to "go towards"

, even if it might be a long and bumpy passage.

I hate it though.

On the plus side, she's 3 weeks post surgery, 6 weeks post-chemo, has about 1cm of hair, is able to do yoga and our walking pace and distance is increasing every day. Also she can drive a little.

This is her first week without her doula -now I feel I need to explain that one! Apparently some doulas don't just work with pregnant/postpartum women. This one came every day the first week, every other day the two weeks after that, and help her with the dressings and the drains, but also with showering, getting dressed, gentle massage, light household chores and general reassurance about all stuff medical that she felt not important enough to ask the doctors about. If you are reading this because you are or know someone getting a mastectomy and you can afford it, get a doula. If that is not financially possible, this is the type of help to ask your best friend and your network of supporters for (particularly if any of them have medical backgrounds). Meals are nice. loading the dishwasher is also nice and loading the washing machine is essential. Sure, BC sufferers can ask their family to do this, but I think it's helping my friend's kids that they don't have a shitload of extra chores on top of dealing with the "mommy may die" stuff, and it's certainly helping her that she doesn't have to fight with them/nag them about it..

classicman · 10-26-2009, 09:24 PM

Thats great to hear monnie - you gotta keep the faith. Its gotten me through a lotta hell lately.

monster · 10-26-2009, 09:27 PM

I meant preying, not praying, but you know what I mean

Thanks cm, I know what you mean too.

limey · 10-27-2009, 08:03 AM

Glad to hear that you're keeping things positive. It's always good, also, to get a reminder of the simple, practical ways people can help.

monster · 10-27-2009, 03:24 PM

OK, so the news is not so bad in that they already knew the tumor was reactive to hormones so they didn't expect the chemo to completely wipe out the cancer, although it would have been nice if it did

..... on with the radiation and hormone therapy....

monster · 10-30-2009, 10:25 PM

So, the radiation initiation visitation.

My friend is dreading this as much as she did chemo and surgery (i.e. LOTS), but i'm not really sure why.... compared to those two it's a walk in the park ..I guess my next job is to convey that to her....

Anyway, her husband was unable to attend the initial meeting with the radiologist and her team, so yesterday she asked if I would come. I'm glad she did.... and I'm glad that I felt like a spare part.... She gets horribly nervous and "British" around doctors and needs an advocate with her.

I found this out when I took her to the emergency appt about her odema/swelling/?spelling/bite-me-nazis-its-friday-night and she didn't ask the questions she wanted to about what was worrying her (so i did)

But today I was all ready to do the same and didn't need to -she did great

classicman · 10-31-2009, 06:20 PM

Thats awesome on so many levels!

monster · 10-31-2009, 08:32 PM

it is. I was hoping she'd make it over here tonight to see the decorations, but she didn't -evenings are the worst for pain and movement, though, and she saw them last year.

Perry Winkle · 11-01-2009, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

odema/swelling/?spelling/bite-me-nazis-its-friday-night

Just for the sake of knowing, no Nazism intended: Edema.

Trilby · 11-01-2009, 10:05 AM

radiation is weird. It made me so horribly tired and I didn't put the two together for a long time (radiation=tiredness) because it wasn't as physically devestating as the chemo.

monster · 11-01-2009, 10:52 AM

Fatigue is the main side-effect they mention, and it's supposed to be particularly bad for patients who have already been through chemo.

BTW, Bri, can't tell you how much your posting here about your fight has helped me help her. Here's hoping for good news with your current battle.

Trilby · 11-01-2009, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

BTW, Bri, can't tell you how much your posting here about your fight has helped me help her. Here's hoping for good news with your current battle.

I am so glad to be of some use! I think of your friend often - I remember how lonely I felt going thru it.

monster · 11-01-2009, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle

Just for the sake of knowing, no Nazism intended: Edema.

thanks. actually I still use the brit oedema but it looked like too many Es

DanaC · 11-01-2009, 05:54 PM

Monnie beat me to it: I was going to say over here it's spelt with an O.

monster · 11-09-2009, 01:31 PM

So, radiation initialization/rehearsal this week. plus she just joined a clinical trial of something (name completely escapres me right now) that increase bone strength and health and reduces the risk of cancer returning. Already approved in Europe, testing is in it's final stages here. unfortunately, she's in the infusion branch of the study which is the most bothersome and the first one on Thursday gave her horrible side effects.

But on the happy happy side, she has about an inch of hair and very noticeable eyebrows

10-26-2009, 08:27 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	My friend recovering from breast cancer This is a continuation of the other thread but I really needed a fresh start because -no offence intended- that had become a little maudlin and about losing the fight and this is my place for letting off steam about my friend's fight and I very much don't want to think about the death possibility even though of course it's always there in the back of my mind..... Anyhoo. It's been praying on my mind today because she had her first post-surgery visit with her oncologist. We were all apprehensive because the pathogy on the removed lymph nodes showed cancer in 7 of them. Post-chemo. This would sound scary anyway, but when the surgeon's right-hand-bitch-with-absolutely-no-fucking-people-skillz called the day after the surgery she said "we found cancer in 7 nodes, but don't jump ship yet" WTF is that supposed to mean if not "you're fucked, panic now"? I emailed my friend this evening and she said "Today was not the horror show I feared it was going to be. The radiologist actually never showed up--after 2 1/2 hours!--but we got to spend an hour with the chemo dr and ask a million questions about the pathology report. it's a big blah blah fest all the info I have running around in my head that I could relate...so I'll just tell you when we walk tomorrow" So I'm still not a whole lot wiser but it sounds like they feel there is still light at the end of the tunnel -and not the type you have to "go towards" , even if it might be a long and bumpy passage. I hate it though. On the plus side, she's 3 weeks post surgery, 6 weeks post-chemo, has about 1cm of hair, is able to do yoga and our walking pace and distance is increasing every day. Also she can drive a little. This is her first week without her doula -now I feel I need to explain that one! Apparently some doulas don't just work with pregnant/postpartum women. This one came every day the first week, every other day the two weeks after that, and help her with the dressings and the drains, but also with showering, getting dressed, gentle massage, light household chores and general reassurance about all stuff medical that she felt not important enough to ask the doctors about. If you are reading this because you are or know someone getting a mastectomy and you can afford it, get a doula. If that is not financially possible, this is the type of help to ask your best friend and your network of supporters for (particularly if any of them have medical backgrounds). Meals are nice. loading the dishwasher is also nice and loading the washing machine is essential. Sure, BC sufferers can ask their family to do this, but I think it's helping my friend's kids that they don't have a shitload of extra chores on top of dealing with the "mommy may die" stuff, and it's certainly helping her that she doesn't have to fight with them/nag them about it.. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-26-2009, 09:24 PM	#2
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Thats great to hear monnie - you gotta keep the faith. Its gotten me through a lotta hell lately. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-26-2009, 09:27 PM	#3
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I meant preying, not praying, but you know what I mean Thanks cm, I know what you mean too. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-27-2009, 08:03 AM	#4
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Glad to hear that you're keeping things positive. It's always good, also, to get a reminder of the simple, practical ways people can help. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

10-27-2009, 03:24 PM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	OK, so the news is not so bad in that they already knew the tumor was reactive to hormones so they didn't expect the chemo to completely wipe out the cancer, although it would have been nice if it did ..... on with the radiation and hormone therapy.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-30-2009, 10:25 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	So, the radiation initiation visitation. My friend is dreading this as much as she did chemo and surgery (i.e. LOTS), but i'm not really sure why.... compared to those two it's a walk in the park ..I guess my next job is to convey that to her.... Anyway, her husband was unable to attend the initial meeting with the radiologist and her team, so yesterday she asked if I would come. I'm glad she did.... and I'm glad that I felt like a spare part.... She gets horribly nervous and "British" around doctors and needs an advocate with her. I found this out when I took her to the emergency appt about her odema/swelling/?spelling/bite-me-nazis-its-friday-night and she didn't ask the questions she wanted to about what was worrying her (so i did) But today I was all ready to do the same and didn't need to -she did great __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-31-2009, 06:20 PM	#7
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Thats awesome on so many levels! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

10-31-2009, 08:32 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	it is. I was hoping she'd make it over here tonight to see the decorations, but she didn't -evenings are the worst for pain and movement, though, and she saw them last year. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-01-2009, 10:05 AM	#10
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	radiation is weird. It made me so horribly tired and I didn't put the two together for a long time (radiation=tiredness) because it wasn't as physically devestating as the chemo.

11-01-2009, 10:52 AM	#11
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Fatigue is the main side-effect they mention, and it's supposed to be particularly bad for patients who have already been through chemo. BTW, Bri, can't tell you how much your posting here about your fight has helped me help her. Here's hoping for good news with your current battle. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-09-2009, 01:31 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	So, radiation initialization/rehearsal this week. plus she just joined a clinical trial of something (name completely escapres me right now) that increase bone strength and health and reduces the risk of cancer returning. Already approved in Europe, testing is in it's final stages here. unfortunately, she's in the infusion branch of the study which is the most bothersome and the first one on Thursday gave her horrible side effects. But on the happy happy side, she has about an inch of hair and very noticeable eyebrows __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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