11/10/02: Divine Sex Toys

juju · 11-10-2002, 05:50 PM

These are from blowfish.com:

Jackhammer Jesus

Jesus fucking Christ. Literally. This extremely blasphemous dildo features a fairly realistic dickhead at the tip, and a crucifix complete with a figure of our crucified Lord at the base. A very hefty dildo with lots of ridges and bulges, it's perfect for playing debauched priest, naughty nun, or re-enacting The Exorcist. The Blowfishies are all convinced that we're going straight to hell for carrying this toy; if you want to join us on the trip, we can't think of a better way than buying one for yourself.

Virgin Mary

Hail Mary, full of grace... This dildo is adorned with the serene visage of the Holy Mother, her hands folded in prayer for all the sick bastards who would buy such a thing. A perfect gift for the more perverse lapsed Catholics in your life.

Baby Jesus Butt-Plug

Glory to the newborn King! Perfect for altars, creches, baby showers and Secret Santa gifts, the Baby Jesus Butt-Plug is designed complete with swaddling clothes (although if you're going to share him, we suggest that you use a swaddling condom).

elSicomoro · 11-10-2002, 06:07 PM

People never cease to amaze me. :)

Nic Name · 11-10-2002, 06:38 PM

Who buys this sacrilegious stuff?

elSicomoro · 11-10-2002, 07:00 PM

I would imagine to some, it is their way of being, ummm...closer to God. :)

jaguar · 11-13-2002, 07:18 PM

Can't really get much closer than having baby jesus up your arse can you.

I can so see two people having a swordfight with jackhammer jesus's though.

Urbane Guerrilla · 11-13-2002, 09:09 PM

Being closer to God -- or coming closer to God?

All I can say is, look out altarboys!

SteveDallas · 11-13-2002, 09:25 PM

Once again, the Internet renders me speechless.

I'm not so much offended by stuff like this (it takes a LOT to offend my sensibilities) as shocked that a) somebody would come up with it and b) having developed the idea, would actually carry through, make it, and sell it.

11-10-2002, 05:50 PM	#1
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	11/10/02: Divine Sex Toys These are from blowfish.com: Jackhammer Jesus Jesus fucking Christ. Literally. This extremely blasphemous dildo features a fairly realistic dickhead at the tip, and a crucifix complete with a figure of our crucified Lord at the base. A very hefty dildo with lots of ridges and bulges, it's perfect for playing debauched priest, naughty nun, or re-enacting The Exorcist. The Blowfishies are all convinced that we're going straight to hell for carrying this toy; if you want to join us on the trip, we can't think of a better way than buying one for yourself. Virgin Mary Hail Mary, full of grace... This dildo is adorned with the serene visage of the Holy Mother, her hands folded in prayer for all the sick bastards who would buy such a thing. A perfect gift for the more perverse lapsed Catholics in your life. Baby Jesus Butt-Plug Glory to the newborn King! Perfect for altars, creches, baby showers and Secret Santa gifts, the Baby Jesus Butt-Plug is designed complete with swaddling clothes (although if you're going to share him, we suggest that you use a swaddling condom).

11-13-2002, 07:18 PM	#5
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	Can't really get much closer than having baby jesus up your arse can you. I can so see two people having a swordfight with jackhammer jesus's though. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

11-13-2002, 09:09 PM	#6
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	Being closer to God -- or coming closer to God? All I can say is, look out altarboys! __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

11-10-2002, 06:07 PM	#2
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	People never cease to amaze me. :)

11-10-2002, 06:38 PM	#3
Nic Name retired Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,930	Who buys this sacrilegious stuff?

11-10-2002, 07:00 PM	#4
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I would imagine to some, it is their way of being, ummm...closer to God. :)

11-13-2002, 09:25 PM	#7
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Once again, the Internet renders me speechless. I'm not so much offended by stuff like this (it takes a LOT to offend my sensibilities) as shocked that a) somebody would come up with it and b) having developed the idea, would actually carry through, make it, and sell it.

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