feedback? - Page 3

perth · 06-17-2004, 11:49 AM

The jawline, maybe? That kind of jumped out at me. The other thing may be the hair on the right-hand side. It kind of looks to me like she's missing half her head there. Other than that, it looks great and I envy your talent.

jaguar · 06-17-2004, 12:00 PM

Thanks
yea the hair there is a little fucked but the face shadows are a mess, here, made a few more mods.

dar512 · 06-17-2004, 12:08 PM

I think the shadows are too harsh. Maybe pick a lighter color? Or it looks like there's a bit of pink in the skin tone, maybe add a touch of pink to the shadows as well?

IANAA

warch · 06-17-2004, 12:24 PM

Watch the outline of the jaw into the neck, its wierd. if you cant resolve the angle with shadow, make her hair fall over it.

Shading- On her shady side: the face contour is great - you sense the structure. The dark side of the nose is heavy handed. It would not be so regularly dark around the end of the nose. I think I need another nostril indicated. (The silliness of these sentences is entertaining me) The lighter side of the face is confusing. I would make a dark contour line between lips. maybe add soft shading to upper lip, that little curve, and under mouth -What would receed a bit. Maybe even match the nose end shadows to what would also be indicated at the chin to be consistent with light source. This lighter side of the nose is strange. Maybe shadow just near the eye and towards the bottom where it comes forward. And the cheek shadow, I dont think you need it at all.

warch · 06-17-2004, 12:26 PM

Looking again at the jaw- the head width is off, you need to thin it or add bits of an ear. That jaw curve ends at your ear.

jaguar · 06-17-2004, 12:49 PM

Not sure what I'd do without you =)

Time to add some serious hair i think

jaguar · 06-17-2004, 12:56 PM

how are we looking now?

Clodfobble · 06-17-2004, 01:55 PM

Wow, much improved. Very very nice. I'd add some highlights to the hair, but that's just me.

lumberjim · 06-17-2004, 02:07 PM

make her eyes a smidge larger. she seems to be squinting

warch · 06-17-2004, 02:07 PM

Looking better! I think the proportions of the face and jaw are still too wide though on that lighter side. In the image, the distance from eye to hairline is too large. (check this on your own face)and from the corner of your mouth to jaw/ear is not so wide either. Bring that hairline in a bit.

jaguar · 06-17-2004, 02:18 PM

bring the jaw up a little as well? I'm not sure and it's a fair bit of work so I thought I'd get an opinion first

warch · 06-17-2004, 02:43 PM

I dunno, just trace the jawline up to where you think the ear would be placed. think about the temple. you dont have to do an ear, but that will help the proportion.

jaguar · 06-17-2004, 02:48 PM

Yea I just noticed it sort of slopes down towards the end, odd, not sure how that happened. Almost finished the torso so i'll finish that, do the corrections then shove up another copy.

Thankyou for all this help, you've all been invaluable, particularly warch who clearly knows his stuff.

warch · 06-17-2004, 03:05 PM

Ahem. Her stuff.

jaguar · 06-17-2004, 03:35 PM

whoops! *begs forgivness*

The hands are poor, working on that but they're bloody hard in that position.

06-17-2004, 12:00 PM	#32
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	Thanks yea the hair there is a little fucked but the face shadows are a mess, here, made a few more mods. Attached Images __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

06-17-2004, 12:49 PM	#36
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	Not sure what I'd do without you =) Time to add some serious hair i think __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

06-17-2004, 12:56 PM	#37
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	how are we looking now? Attached Images __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

06-17-2004, 02:07 PM	#39
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	make her eyes a smidge larger. she seems to be squinting __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

06-17-2004, 02:18 PM	#41
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	bring the jaw up a little as well? I'm not sure and it's a fair bit of work so I thought I'd get an opinion first Attached Images __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

06-17-2004, 11:49 AM	#31
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	The jawline, maybe? That kind of jumped out at me. The other thing may be the hair on the right-hand side. It kind of looks to me like she's missing half her head there. Other than that, it looks great and I envy your talent.

06-17-2004, 12:08 PM	#33
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	I think the shadows are too harsh. Maybe pick a lighter color? Or it looks like there's a bit of pink in the skin tone, maybe add a touch of pink to the shadows as well? IANAA

06-17-2004, 12:24 PM	#34
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Watch the outline of the jaw into the neck, its wierd. if you cant resolve the angle with shadow, make her hair fall over it. Shading- On her shady side: the face contour is great - you sense the structure. The dark side of the nose is heavy handed. It would not be so regularly dark around the end of the nose. I think I need another nostril indicated. (The silliness of these sentences is entertaining me) The lighter side of the face is confusing. I would make a dark contour line between lips. maybe add soft shading to upper lip, that little curve, and under mouth -What would receed a bit. Maybe even match the nose end shadows to what would also be indicated at the chin to be consistent with light source. This lighter side of the nose is strange. Maybe shadow just near the eye and towards the bottom where it comes forward. And the cheek shadow, I dont think you need it at all.

06-17-2004, 12:26 PM	#35
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Looking again at the jaw- the head width is off, you need to thin it or add bits of an ear. That jaw curve ends at your ear.

06-17-2004, 01:55 PM	#38
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Wow, much improved. Very very nice. I'd add some highlights to the hair, but that's just me.

06-17-2004, 02:43 PM	#42
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	I dunno, just trace the jawline up to where you think the ear would be placed. think about the temple. you dont have to do an ear, but that will help the proportion.

06-17-2004, 02:48 PM	#43
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	Yea I just noticed it sort of slopes down towards the end, odd, not sure how that happened. Almost finished the torso so i'll finish that, do the corrections then shove up another copy. Thankyou for all this help, you've all been invaluable, particularly warch who clearly knows his stuff. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

06-17-2004, 03:05 PM	#44
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	Ahem. Her stuff.

06-17-2004, 03:35 PM	#45
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	whoops! begs forgivness The hands are poor, working on that but they're bloody hard in that position. Attached Images __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

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