An over the top birthday for a one year old?

[chrisinhouston]

Things seem to be quite different these days or at least for some families as far as their kids birthdays go. When my kids were young we mostly did home based birthday parties. We invited kids they knew or neighbors kids, maybe 5 to 10 or so. My wife baked and decorated a cake, the kids played Pin the Tail on the Donkey, sometimes we had a blow up kiddie pool or a slip and slide.

Times change...

I have a niece who lives in southern California who had a baby boy later in life and she and her husband live a pretty good life. Their son just celebrated his 1st birthday and they through him a big party. They invited 50 of is closest friends and their families and had a huge catered meal served. They had a moon walk bouncy thing even though he is too young to really get up in it. They had face painting and a pinata. They hired a Mickey Mouse impersonator, like the folks at Disneyland dressed up who came for a few hours. He got a ton of presents including a big battery powered Mercedes Benz he can drive in once he is old enough to do it (the box said for children 7 and older!).

[wolf]

One of my former cow orkers was that kind of conspicuous consumer. It was worse when she later had twins.

A birthday party like that is about the parents celebrating themselves more than the child's exciting personal milestone.

This is a proper first birthday ...

[Gravdigr]

Yep, that was for the parents.

Doesn't matter what you do, the kid will not remember any of it.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by chrisinhouston

Things seem to be quite different these days or at least for some families as far as their kids birthdays go.

This is not a "these days" thing, it is an "irresponsibly wealthy" thing. I'm sure there were people throwing stupid parties for their babies back in the 70s too, they just didn't live on your street.

We did have a party at the house for Minifob when he turned one, but there was only one other baby in attendance. It was no secret that it was a party for us and our adult friends, and we only let relatives bring presents.

[Aliantha]

We usually just have family parties for our kids birthdays, and it's generally a word of mouth thing that whoever wants to come should do so, but bring a plate if you do. No presents unless you really can't help yourself, and then it should be something small. We've let them have a party for their birthday in grade one, but even that is in the yard with old fashioned games, which is what Max will get in a couple of years, then they get another one when they turn 13, and that can be somewhere else. Aden chose half a dozen friends and did an adventure climb thing with abseiling and stuff like that. Mav actually forwent his party for some reason, but we still had a family thing at home for him.

The next one they get from us will be 18, and that will be at home too, so we can keep an eye on them and how much they might drink! (18 is the legal drinking age here)

[DanaC]

Can't help but think the baby in Wolf's pic is probably having a nicer birthday.

Aside from anything else, surely that's way too much stimulation for a babe. Wtf do half those things even mean to a 1 year old? And 50 guests? Again, wtf is that to a bairn but a crowd of faces?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Well a professionally produced gala, complete with a phalanx of photographers and videographers, will give you evidence you can wave in the kid's face while telling them they owe you after all you've done for them.

It's a step up from the, "I carried you for nine months and this is how you repay me", speech.
But it may not be as effective as the, "I brought you into this world, so I can take you the fuck out, and make another just like you", speech.

[chrisinhouston]

My wife wondered what the heck will they do for his second birthday?

[infinite monkey]

Strippers.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Yep, that was for the parents.

Doesn't matter what you do, the kid will not remember any of it.

What, the videographer had a hard drive failure or something?

[Sundae]

Sorry, Wolf's pic is not fun, it's just dirty. Euch.

What I've found, working with 62 children, is often the ones with the most extravagent parties - at indoor centres and the whole class is invited - are the ones which rarely read at home, often come in tired and have attachment issues. I know in pretty much every case it's because both parents work long hours. I don't condemn that, but I do wonder about priorities.

Colleagues of mine have seen a little girl I work with out at 21.00 on a school night, dozing in the corner as her family eat and talk in a restaurant. Her half-brother is in his late teens and puts her down constantly and her half-sister in her twenties has a new baby. She is dropped off by a childminder, picked up by a childminder and stays with her sister while her parents have weekends away.

I know parents have to work, but this child finds it hard to deal with. No details but her behaviour and attitude show this quite clearly.
Still, she had an amazing birthday party for approx 40 children. Hired out an entire venue, full catering for both children and any attending parents. And she has a new Moshi Monster bag and lunchbox and water bottle because she didn't like her JLS ones any more. And Mummy said she might go to Disneyland Paris for Christmas.

Sigh.

I envied children who had birthday parties every year.
I only ever had one (8).
But then my sister had one (8) and that counted for me too as I knew all her friends.
And my brother had one and I hid because he had his when he was 6 - shouty little boys!

As a child I might have exchanged the paucity of parties for being bathed, playing board games, eating tea together, having stories read to me, being kissed goodnight. But that's a childish reaction.

As an adult I can look back and see in that respect my childhood was marvellous.

Chris, I'm not saying your niece and nephew aren't around for ther child.
Just reporting personal experience.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Colleagues of mine have seen a little girl I work with out at 21.00 on a school night, dozing in the corner as her family eat and talk in a restaurant. Her half-brother is in his late teens and puts her down constantly and her half-sister in her twenties has a new baby. She is dropped off by a childminder, picked up by a childminder and stays with her sister while her parents have weekends away.

I know parents have to work, but this child finds it hard to deal with. No details but her behaviour and attitude show this quite clearly.

I can understand working long hours. And I can understand having an active social life, going away for weekends sans kiddies, and eating at restaurants late in the evening. What I can't understand is doing both.

If you work long hours and six day weeks, rely on childminders or nannies for breakfasts and school run etc...then the things that need to give are the weekends away and the restaurant meals.

I've known people like that and I never could get my head around it. Wtf have children if you aren't going to spend any time enjoying their company? If you can't give up work (either for finances or because that's what makes you feel complete as a person)then give up the social side. If you only get a few hours a week not spent working or travelling, why not throw that at being a parent?