Corrupted Wish - Page 2

smoothmoniker · 10-24-2005, 08:27 PM

You are a working journalist, now that you have been fixed. In the cut off your balls sense of the word.

I wish I were turning 21 instead of 30 on Friday.

Undertoad · 10-24-2005, 08:30 PM

Bam! Griff's goats are now the most popular item on the catwalks, and from coast-to-coast their popularity is comparable to Paris Hilton's, and just as incomprehensible. The endless parade of dealmaking weasels at Griff's door ruins his life of rural ease.

I wish everyone would refresh the thread before submitting their reply.

lumberjim · 10-24-2005, 08:52 PM

i refreshed the thread box before replying, but in an unbelievable twist if irony, i was unable to think of anything whitty to reply with.

cock.

i wish you all thought that was as funny as i do

smoothmoniker · 10-24-2005, 08:55 PM

Everyone begins refreshing the thread. Everyone in the whole damn world. The resulting bandwidth spikes at 120gb per hour, costing UT billuns and billuns of cash money in hosting fees.

I still wish I were turning 21 instead of 30 on friday.

lumberjim · 10-24-2005, 08:59 PM

rofl...everyone except YOU!

Griff · 10-24-2005, 09:06 PM

You turn 21 and you realize how much everyone hates a confident poised 21 yo.

I wish I could score the winning goal in the world cup.

Griff · 10-24-2005, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

i wish you all thought that was as funny as i do

We do. Deep inside you know how funny that is.

I wish I was a successful dope farmer.

Sun_Sparkz · 10-24-2005, 09:19 PM

You score the winning goal in the world cup, with an amazing fly kick, but you land wrong and you femur bone penetrates your pelic bone severing your penis in front of the entire world.

I wish i could live the simple life in a beach cabin somewhere and just surf all day and sit by a bon fire all night..

Clodfobble · 10-24-2005, 10:04 PM

Griff, you are a successful dope farmer--but your goats get out one night, eat your whole crop, and go on a rampage doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage to the city.

Sun_Sparkz, you live the simple life in a beach cabin--but the hurricane kills you a week later.

I wish I didn't hate my job.

Elspode · 10-24-2005, 10:17 PM

An enterprising young HR exec sees "A Clockwork Orange", and brainwashes you into loving your job using the same therapies as they used on Alex.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

lumberjim · 10-24-2005, 11:26 PM

You find yourself in a dark place. It's hot and steamy. and crowded. there are two other prescences close by, but you cant see them. Only one eye seems to be working, and it's very dark. suddenly, you feel something heavy thump against you. then there is a horrifically loud rending sound, and light spills in around you. You are crushed between two giant blunt pincers. They pull on you until you feel like you might fly into the air, but then you realize that you have no legs or feet, and your body is planted tightly in the ground. Ground? no time to look any closer, your head is stretched forward by the pincers, and you feel a powerfull surge from within. opening your one good eye, you are confronted by an enormous urinal. The surge grows, and you feel a fluid rushing up within you, and now your sight goes blurry as it fountains out of your eye. All of the sudden, it dawns on you. You're a dick. Humiliated, you wait for the body to stop pissing you off. Just before it happens, you remember the shake. Oh no. You utter a quick prayer that he's not a wringer or a flicker. Before it comes, though, you hear a booming voice. this is not your body's voice. it comes from behind. "Oscar? Oscar Maier?" your body turns, exposing you to a view of a man in a mustard bottle costume. "Oscar! Man, I'ts been ages! How've you been!?"

Remembering your wish, you shrivel. you're an Oscar Maier Weiner.

I wish I had a bottomless bag of diamonds.

smoothmoniker · 10-25-2005, 03:53 AM

looking back at the long trail of glittering diamonds leading back up the side of the mountain, you suddenly wish you had asked for an endlessly refilling bag of diamonds, instead of just a bag with no bottom.

I wish I got to live 50 hours in every day, while everyone else still got 24.

Beestie · 10-25-2005, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothmoniker

I wish I got to live 50 hours in every day, while everyone else still got 24.

Smooth was enjoying his newly granted gift from the gods until one day. One day as he probed the alarming number of new wrinkles he saw in the mirror did he then understand that when he was effectively a decrepit one hundred years old, we would still be a youthful forty-eight.

I wish that I could know the answer to any question I asked.

Pie · 10-25-2005, 09:59 AM

Bam! You're Alex Trebek.

I wish we had a better political system.

dar512 · 10-25-2005, 10:28 AM

Bam. Our political system now runs like clockwork. Too bad it's a dictatorship and you're in the work camp.

I wish my kids would do their chores without asking.

10-24-2005, 08:27 PM	#16
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	You are a working journalist, now that you have been fixed. In the cut off your balls sense of the word. I wish I were turning 21 instead of 30 on Friday. __________________ to live and die in LA

10-24-2005, 08:52 PM	#18
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	i refreshed the thread box before replying, but in an unbelievable twist if irony, i was unable to think of anything whitty to reply with. cock. i wish you all thought that was as funny as i do __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-24-2005, 08:55 PM	#19
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	Everyone begins refreshing the thread. Everyone in the whole damn world. The resulting bandwidth spikes at 120gb per hour, costing UT billuns and billuns of cash money in hosting fees. I still wish I were turning 21 instead of 30 on friday. __________________ to live and die in LA

10-24-2005, 08:59 PM	#20
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	rofl...everyone except YOU! __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-24-2005, 09:06 PM	#21
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	You turn 21 and you realize how much everyone hates a confident poised 21 yo. I wish I could score the winning goal in the world cup. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-24-2005, 08:30 PM	#17
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Bam! Griff's goats are now the most popular item on the catwalks, and from coast-to-coast their popularity is comparable to Paris Hilton's, and just as incomprehensible. The endless parade of dealmaking weasels at Griff's door ruins his life of rural ease. I wish everyone would refresh the thread before submitting their reply.

10-24-2005, 09:19 PM	#23
Sun_Sparkz Has Body Temperature Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I come from a land downunder Posts: 1,105	You score the winning goal in the world cup, with an amazing fly kick, but you land wrong and you femur bone penetrates your pelic bone severing your penis in front of the entire world. I wish i could live the simple life in a beach cabin somewhere and just surf all day and sit by a bon fire all night.. __________________ We'll never be as young as we are right now

10-24-2005, 10:04 PM	#24
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Griff, you are a successful dope farmer--but your goats get out one night, eat your whole crop, and go on a rampage doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage to the city. Sun_Sparkz, you live the simple life in a beach cabin--but the hurricane kills you a week later. I wish I didn't hate my job.

10-24-2005, 10:17 PM	#25
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	An enterprising young HR exec sees "A Clockwork Orange", and brainwashes you into loving your job using the same therapies as they used on Alex. I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-24-2005, 11:26 PM	#26
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	You find yourself in a dark place. It's hot and steamy. and crowded. there are two other prescences close by, but you cant see them. Only one eye seems to be working, and it's very dark. suddenly, you feel something heavy thump against you. then there is a horrifically loud rending sound, and light spills in around you. You are crushed between two giant blunt pincers. They pull on you until you feel like you might fly into the air, but then you realize that you have no legs or feet, and your body is planted tightly in the ground. Ground? no time to look any closer, your head is stretched forward by the pincers, and you feel a powerfull surge from within. opening your one good eye, you are confronted by an enormous urinal. The surge grows, and you feel a fluid rushing up within you, and now your sight goes blurry as it fountains out of your eye. All of the sudden, it dawns on you. You're a dick. Humiliated, you wait for the body to stop pissing you off. Just before it happens, you remember the shake. Oh no. You utter a quick prayer that he's not a wringer or a flicker. Before it comes, though, you hear a booming voice. this is not your body's voice. it comes from behind. "Oscar? Oscar Maier?" your body turns, exposing you to a view of a man in a mustard bottle costume. "Oscar! Man, I'ts been ages! How've you been!?" Remembering your wish, you shrivel. you're an Oscar Maier Weiner. I wish I had a bottomless bag of diamonds. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 10-24-2005 at 11:38 PM.

10-25-2005, 03:53 AM	#27
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	looking back at the long trail of glittering diamonds leading back up the side of the mountain, you suddenly wish you had asked for an endlessly refilling bag of diamonds, instead of just a bag with no bottom. I wish I got to live 50 hours in every day, while everyone else still got 24. __________________ to live and die in LA

10-25-2005, 09:59 AM	#29
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Bam! You're Alex Trebek. I wish we had a better political system. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

10-25-2005, 10:28 AM	#30
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Bam. Our political system now runs like clockwork. Too bad it's a dictatorship and you're in the work camp. I wish my kids would do their chores without asking. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

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