how ignorant are you?

[mrnoodle]

While some people know a lot, nobody knows everything. I want to see what you don't know. Keep it light -- no bad vibes in here. Keep it to mistaken song lyrics, words you can't pronounce, terms you read and don't know what they mean. it's an opportunity for everyone to get made fun of. This may fizzle, but anyhoo. I'll start.

Until I looked it up 10 seconds ago, I really didn't know what non-sequiter meant.

I still don't know what QED means.

Until college, I pronounced armageddon ar-MAH-guh-don, like a monster who would fight Godzilla

I've played a musical instrument of some form or other for more than 25 years, and I can't read music.


Any interest in this kind of thread?

[Catwoman]

I cannot understand anything about the stock exchange. Do they exchange actual stock? Why does it change every second? What do all the funny words mean?

I don't know how an engine works and I don't know where one thing is in relation to another. My spatial awareness is that of a chocolate-filled compass.

I spoke fluent German only 5 years ago, now I can barely manage 'Wie heist du?'

I don't really have any general knowledge at all. I get through Trivial Pursuit by question analysis, working out the only thing the answer could be. Analysis is probably my only real skill, and I usually get the questions wrong.

I don't know anything. Why did you start this thread? I now wallow in annoyed self acceptance. Bugger off and go post on 'who loves god' or something.

[smoothmoniker]

I don't know any math beyond basic algebra. No calculus, not even advanced algebra.

That's what getting a BA in music and and MA in Philosophy will get you ...

I don't know how to do anything with cars. Complete moron. If I tried to change the oil I would probably catch the car on fire and burn it to the ground.

[Beestie]

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

I've played a musical instrument of some form or other for more than 25 years, and I can't read music.

Neither could Jimi Hendrix.

Electricity baffles the hell out of me. I will literally call an electrician to wire one light switch. I understand positive and negative much in the same way a monkey understands that you can touch one or the other but not both. I don't understand why, for example, the stove burner does not shock you when you touch it after you turn it on (but before it gets hot). The heat comes from electricity flowing through it, right? I don't understand why the static electricity from touching the doorknob stings but you can touch one of those static electricity generators which will make even the longest hair stand on end but it doesn't hurt. And I don't understand what voltage is. I understand current and resistance and don't know why we need some third thing to make it more complicated. There. I said it. Whew.

[LCanal]

Electricity is simply smoke trapped in a wire. Sure it runs the toaster and stuff but if anything goes wrong you can tell because the smoke escapes.

[Clodfobble]

Simple, basic arithmetic confounds me. I can do more complicated math in my head just fine, multiplying large numbers and what-have-you, and I still can explain calculus and all about the different kinds of infinities. But I have to triple-check myself every time I add two single-digit numbers or (god help me) calculate a tip because 90% of the time I will have screwed it up.

Also, all the aforementioned things: electricity, and plumbing, and cars, and home appliances are magic. Just magic.

You know how you'll hear a statistic like 65% of Americans can't find Iraq on an unmarked map? I'm one of those people. Maps do NOT stick with me. I know what it borders on and what else is in the region, but I couldn't find those countries on a map either.

[Happy Monkey]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Simple, basic arithmetic confounds me. I can do more complicated math in my head just fine, multiplying large numbers and what-have-you, and I still can explain calculus and all about the different kinds of infinities. But I have to triple-check myself every time I add two single-digit numbers or (god help me) calculate a tip because 90% of the time I will have screwed it up.

Wow, that's me too. Except for the multiplying large numbers in my head. I can do calculus, geometry, and trig, and I just helped my brother with his discrete math, but I have blind spots in my basic addition/multiplication tables and I count in my head from the nearest one I know.

[Undertoad]

I don't know how to pronounce "gyro", as in the greek-ish fast food. Every once in a while I'm told how, but my brain pushes that information to a strange dusty wasteland. In order to avoid terrifying embarrassment, I have never ordered one.

[Undertoad]

I have never bothered to learn object-oriented programming. Every once in a while I try for a few hours and then just give up. This may not seem like much, but on my scale, it's like a mechanic who's worked on carburetors all his life, acknowledging that he doesn't understand fuel injection.

[Pie]

Originally Posted by Undertoad

I have never bothered to learn object-oriented programming.

I'm with you on that one! I've got some sort of ferocious mental block about OO. And, wouldn't you know, I'm about to head up an OO migration of a major effort here...

[jaguar]

I didn't quite work out the word untitled till I was about 10, I thought it was pronounced uni-tilled and was some odd thing Apple had made up because it probably wouldn't be taken.

I still don't think I have a perfect grasp on voltage and ampage. I get it but I don't get it. Despite designing a railgun at one point. Go figure.

[kerosene]

I really suck at golf. No matter how much help I get and guidance, I just miss the ball *every* time.

I have little concept of time. I can sit at the computer for what I think is 15 minutes, when it has really been 4 hours. Same goes for other activities, like cleaning, painting, and drinking alcohol. I couldn't guess what time it was if my life depended on it. I rely completely on clocks to give me that information.

I am complete imbecile when it comes to cooking anything having to do with meat. I like meat, mind you, but when it comes time to cook chicken breast, pork, or steak, I get this terrifying thought that I will either undercook it or overcook it, then I freak out about how to prepare it, like should I use the oven or should I fry it? I usually end up using the frying pan, that way I can watch the meat intently as it cooks, but I still mess it up somehow, everytime.

I never really know how to pronounce "envelope", "imbecile" (which I used in the previous paragraph), and "obscene". I always get confused about the beginning vowel sounds with these words.

I have a terrible memory with names. I commonly call people by wrong names if I just met them, thinking their name is something it isn't. Sometimes that is because they remind me of someone I use to know. I forget celebrity and band names very easily. I try everything to remember people's names that I meet, but I have to have constant repetition, in order to remember.

[russotto]

I have some idea of most of the trivia people have posted, but I'm totally ignorant about large areas of knowledge that I don't even know I don't know. I can't read music, but since I don't even listen to it that's no surprise. I'm an English monoglot -- I know no foreign languages. What little I know about ancient military history comes mostly from Baen science fiction novels.

I can't paint. Well, I can, but somehow I can never do it right. I swear I make brush marks with a roller.

I can't create anything musical or artistic.

Poetry eludes me. (I have the sneaking suspicion there's actually nothing there)

I don't know much about the details of the industry I supposedly work in (logistics). But then, I don't really want to know.

[wolf]

Maybe we can fix the gyro thing ... the gyro has given it's name to another american sandwich that it bears no relation to, although one in short supply in the Philadelphia area ... the Hero.

Okay, so now that you know that a hero is kind of a gyro ... and a distinctive feature of the word gyro is the "Y" ... say it with me ... Yeero. Putting a slight trill on the "R" is okay, but not necessary.

And now the big secret ... if you, as a non-Greek American, starts saying it right, the guys in the restaurant will NEVER UNDERSTAND YOU.

They expect everyone to say it wrong and are taken aback when the word accidently slips from someone's mouth.

Stick with the Chicken Souvlaki Sandwich.

My areas of ignorance are vast. I enjoy a large number of spectator sports, but there are bits of the rules that remain a complete mystery to me. For example, I know that you can be penalized for offsides in Football, but I have no clue what that means, even though I get it in hockey or soccer. I can watch football and become excited about action on the screen, largely because I know it is action. I can sometimes even correctly identify the foul that was called, without understanding the mechanisms of the foul itself.

I have always lived in apartments so things like basic plumbing mystify me.

I cannot do math advanced beyond Trigonometry. I had an extreme, possibly unreasonable, fear of Calculus. Because of this fear I did not major in Computer Science in college. This is probably a good thing, because all of my programmer friends who really liked calculus are unemployed now.

I also do not understand the stock market.

I also am mystified by electricity, including the answer to the question "Why doesn't it leak out of the wall through an open plug."

[Troubleshooter]

Originally Posted by wolf

I also am mystified by electricity, including the answer to the question "Why doesn't it leak out of the wall through an open plug."

It does.