Time for some TTF stories

DucksNuts · 11-16-2006, 03:53 AM

A few years back my girlfriend and I were traveling to Malaysia. We always had a practical joke thing going on.

We had already checked our luggage and were in the very long line to go through the security checkpoint....chatting away about the great adventures we would have in Malaysia.

[she's a very ditzy blonde but shes also a ditzy brunette occasionally)

Anyways, Manda puts her gear on the conveyor ...walks through *beep*, the guy.... "please remove your shoes miss"...she walks through...no further issues.

Security guy at the screen signals to the other dude, he walks over, looks at the screen, then walks back to us ..."we are going to need to look in your bags".

No less than 4!! security guards have followed us over to this little table and they start methodically pulling things out of our hand luggage. Theres a couple of other guys there booting their laptops, emptying bags etc.

One of the security guards gets rummaging around in Manda's gear when out he pulls this HUGE glow in the dark vibrator. Manda goes pale, I start snorting, the security guards are all very straight faced...albeit struggling to stay that way, the two laptop guys are chuckling, one asked jokingly (I think) for our phone numbers.

Not finished with mortifying poor Manda, they security guard asks her to turn the dildo on (all 3 speeds) and off, unscrew the base and remove the batteries to make sure there is nothing sinister shoved up there.

It was reassembled and we were sent on our way, cheeky guard commenting that he hoped she wouldnt need to use that item whilst on vacation.

It was only then that it dawned on my very good friend that >I< had planted the vibrator in her hand luggage.

She's still thinking of revenge sweet enough to satisfy her.

DucksNuts · 11-16-2006, 04:01 AM

This one actually happened at work yesterday....

As I've mentioned, I work in quite a dysfunctional work environment and my boss is the porn king!!!

Yesterday, whilst one of our sales guys and I are sitting in my boss' office, a customer call was put through to his office and as he had his head set on, he just hit the switch and received the call.

He had been talking for a couple of minutes when he turned his chair around and his elbow must of bumped the keyboard......starting a porn video on his screen.

I glanced over at the first *oooohhhhHHHhhhh* and saw this lady (I use the term loosely :p) in a compromising position taking it up the bottbott!!.

She was particularly vocal and the volume was up really loud and by the time she got to a series of "OHhhhHHH YessssSSSSsss" my boss lets out with this "Oh, can you hear them in the next office? I'm terribly sorry, I cant believe they are at it again.....(cups hand over mouth piece and hollers)..WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU TWO ABOUT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR!!!"

I near wet myself

Eh, its one of those things, it was really funny at the time

LabRat · 11-16-2006, 09:11 AM

Good lord, where do you work?

bbro · 11-16-2006, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

Good lord, where do you work?

Are they hiring???

SteveDallas · 11-16-2006, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

. . . make sure there is nothing sinister shoved up there.

I resent your slurs against left-handed persons.

DucksNuts · 11-16-2006, 01:38 PM

I really dont want to say what industry I work in, because there will be a series of "uhuh, that explains everything"-s.

Its weird, but fun.

Why are there not more stories in here????

Spexxvet · 11-16-2006, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

I really dont want to say what industry I work in, because there will be a series of "uhuh, that explains everything"-s.

Its weird, but fun.

Why are there not more stories in here????

Because I don't know what TTF means.

Is your industry the SEX TOY industry?

yesman065 · 11-16-2006, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Because I don't know what TTF means.

footfootfoot · 11-16-2006, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Because I don't know what TTF means.

C'mon, get with it!

http://www.ttf.org.au/

yesman065 · 11-16-2006, 01:47 PM

Ohh thats great - for those who don't know we can hijack this and turn it into: "what does Ducks Do?"

Sorry Ducks, just kidding

Spexxvet · 11-16-2006, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yesman065

Ohh thats great - for those who don't know we can hijack this and tur it into: "what does Ducks Do?"

She's the model for plastic vaginas. They take the mold right from her - how you say? - twat.

DucksNuts · 11-16-2006, 05:49 PM

fucken hell - this is why you shouldnt start threads under the influence....its TFF!!! Too Fucken Funny!!!

*Bruuuceeee, wooolllffffff* - come help a girl out and fix puleeze!!

I'm sure it wont take too many guesses to figure out what I do, but you cant play yesman, coz you know :p

xoxoxoBruce · 11-17-2006, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

fucken hell - this is why you shouldnt start threads under the influence....its TFF!!! Too Fucken Funny!!!

*Bruuuceeee, wooolllffffff* - come help a girl out and fix puleeze!!

I'm sure it wont take too many guesses to figure out what I do, but you cant play yesman, coz you know :p

What, spoil the fun?

Urbane Guerrilla · 12-17-2006, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

fucken hell - this is why you shouldnt start threads under the influence....its TFF!!! Too Fucken Funny!!!

And here I thought Too, too funny.

A high-school buddy once told me of a grim afternoon with carsickness. He turned his head and barfed all down his brother's shirt front. The telling detail was his breast pocket was standing well away from the rest of his shirt because it was full of buddy's lost lunch.

Aliantha · 11-16-2006, 11:23 PM

What about me? Can I play???

11-16-2006, 03:53 AM	#1
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Time for some TTF stories A few years back my girlfriend and I were traveling to Malaysia. We always had a practical joke thing going on. We had already checked our luggage and were in the very long line to go through the security checkpoint....chatting away about the great adventures we would have in Malaysia. [she's a very ditzy blonde but shes also a ditzy brunette occasionally) Anyways, Manda puts her gear on the conveyor ...walks through beep, the guy.... "please remove your shoes miss"...she walks through...no further issues. Security guy at the screen signals to the other dude, he walks over, looks at the screen, then walks back to us ..."we are going to need to look in your bags". No less than 4!! security guards have followed us over to this little table and they start methodically pulling things out of our hand luggage. Theres a couple of other guys there booting their laptops, emptying bags etc. One of the security guards gets rummaging around in Manda's gear when out he pulls this HUGE glow in the dark vibrator. Manda goes pale, I start snorting, the security guards are all very straight faced...albeit struggling to stay that way, the two laptop guys are chuckling, one asked jokingly (I think) for our phone numbers. Not finished with mortifying poor Manda, they security guard asks her to turn the dildo on (all 3 speeds) and off, unscrew the base and remove the batteries to make sure there is nothing sinister shoved up there. It was reassembled and we were sent on our way, cheeky guard commenting that he hoped she wouldnt need to use that item whilst on vacation. It was only then that it dawned on my very good friend that >I< had planted the vibrator in her hand luggage. She's still thinking of revenge sweet enough to satisfy her. Last edited by DucksNuts; 11-16-2006 at 04:03 AM.

11-16-2006, 09:11 AM	#3
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	Good lord, where do you work? __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

11-16-2006, 01:47 PM	#10
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Ohh thats great - for those who don't know we can hijack this and turn it into: "what does Ducks Do?" Sorry Ducks, just kidding Last edited by yesman065; 11-16-2006 at 01:54 PM.

11-16-2006, 11:23 PM	#15
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	What about me? Can I play??? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-16-2006, 04:01 AM	#2
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	This one actually happened at work yesterday.... As I've mentioned, I work in quite a dysfunctional work environment and my boss is the porn king!!! Yesterday, whilst one of our sales guys and I are sitting in my boss' office, a customer call was put through to his office and as he had his head set on, he just hit the switch and received the call. He had been talking for a couple of minutes when he turned his chair around and his elbow must of bumped the keyboard......starting a porn video on his screen. I glanced over at the first oooohhhhHHHhhhh and saw this lady (I use the term loosely :p) in a compromising position taking it up the bottbott!!. She was particularly vocal and the volume was up really loud and by the time she got to a series of "OHhhhHHH YessssSSSSsss" my boss lets out with this "Oh, can you hear them in the next office? I'm terribly sorry, I cant believe they are at it again.....(cups hand over mouth piece and hollers)..WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU TWO ABOUT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR!!!" I near wet myself Eh, its one of those things, it was really funny at the time

11-16-2006, 01:38 PM	#6
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I really dont want to say what industry I work in, because there will be a series of "uhuh, that explains everything"-s. Its weird, but fun. Why are there not more stories in here????

11-16-2006, 05:49 PM	#12
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	fucken hell - this is why you shouldnt start threads under the influence....its TFF!!! Too Fucken Funny!!! Bruuuceeee, wooolllffffff - come help a girl out and fix puleeze!! I'm sure it wont take too many guesses to figure out what I do, but you cant play yesman, coz you know :p

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