Here in The Cellar - Is It *Real*?

[Elspode]

Yeah, I said it...is it *real*? Our relationships, I mean (this is, after all, the relationships thread).

Few of us know each other or have ever met IRL. Essentially, to one another, we are all letters on a screen and little else. Oh, yeah...some personalities come across loud and clear. Some of those personalities are easier to stomach than others. Some are more interesting than others. Some are more irritating than others, some apparently more glamorous, still others more attractive, literate, intriguing, provocative, and lots of other adjectives...just like reality. But...

...if we are just batting around words here, with few ever having to face another Cellarite and look into their eyes - Is any of this *real*? If I tell LJ he's a cocksucker, does he get pissed, and do I feel sorry for being out of line? If TW propounds on the morality of international politics and Kagen tells him he's a left wing weenie, is anyone responsible for their words and "actions"?

I guess what I'm looking for here is this: how much weight/value/import do *you*, as a member of this virtual community, place upon your interactions here? Do your feelings get hurt when someone nails your ass? Do you actually feel supported when you open up your guts and let people know that things suck for you and you could use some strokes/input? Do you visualize a real, flesh and blood person sitting somewhere at a computer, carefully considering their words (as I am desperately trying to do now), and ending up making you happy/sad/angry/confused?

As in real life (and magickal life as well), things have only as much power as you give them, but don't you need to give a certain amount of empowerment to what goes on here on The Cellar to make it worth bothering with at all?

[zippyt]

for me it is beter than the realy real world , but realy about the same .
If'n I ever got to Forks I would be the guy tending the fire and listening to all the conversations , adding a bit here and there but tending the fire none the less .
I do this on camping trips with friends , I allways have , sorta in the back ground but sorta up to date as well .

[Griff]

I think it is real. I've found myself in real world conversations referring to something that was said here. You guys are real to me.

[Rock Steady]

Originally Posted by Griff

I think it is real. I've found myself in real world conversations referring to something that was said here. You guys are real to me.

Yeah, Go Stillers!!!!

Last week at work, I named a Java class (Ward) after the Super Bowl MVP.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by Rock Steady

Last week at work, I named a Java class (Ward) after the Super Bowl MVP.

Whoever has to maintain that code is going to hate you. Couldn't you have just put in a "yeah team" comment?

[Rock Steady]

Originally Posted by dar512

Whoever has to maintain that code is going to hate you. Couldn't you have just put in a "yeah team" comment?

Actually, it was the best name for the class. It represents a running JVM that a "nanny" service must start and monitor.

I did have to leave a joke in a comment:

public class Ward //,Hines #86

[richlevy]

Originally Posted by zippyt

If'n I ever got to Forks I would be the guy tending the fire and listening to all the conversations , adding a bit here and there but tending the fire none the less.

Actually, I think they already have a guy for that. My friend Jim and I usually tend to the grill and soak up the conversation and the sights, both of which can get a little strange. Bob and Wolf are good hosts and make it easy for everyone to relax and have fun.

I really have only two speeds when it comes to conversation. I have the background gather information mode which you seem to prefer. However, if it touches on something I am passionate about, I can move toward the opinionated rant.

Really, if I get going and become any more of a jerk, I'd have to apply for a job with Fox News, of course after undergoing the mandatory surgery to remove higher brain functions.

Of course, since I don't drink, I don't have the convenient "Did I say something wrong last night, because I was drunk off my ass and I don't remember any of it" excuse.

That being said, I really like being around people having fun, and I like to think that I can come up with occasional conversation worth having.

[WabUfvot5]

It's real to a point. I find myself thinking about stuff on here from time to time. In all my years on net forums there has been only one person I want to outright kill and maybe three or so I'd be rude to. So I don't worry about it much.

[lumberjim]

pat, if you want to call me a cocksucker, just come out and say it. there's no need to create this whole big 'philosophical smokescreen' around it. but cerealy, this is absolutely real. i'm a little bit surprised that you ask this instead of stating it. seems like maybe that's what you're doing.....reminding us that when we call each other a fucktard that we might actually hurt someone's feelings. ya bleeding heart nancy boy. I know more about what makes you guys tick than many of my real life friends. you don't get this level of intimacy without the 'anonimity' that this medium provides. it's like a confessional in some respects. granted, you have to sort through a lot of lies and posturing, but I, for one, can tell when someone is being real or coming off. those that treat this as a place to fluff their own ego or try to impress us with how cool they want to be are typically reduced to rubble forthwith. I think that is the main reason i read the cellar. it's definitely what hooked me....the thread UT started about his divorce, specifically. I come off as a hammer from time to time, but i think that most of you know that i would have your back in a time of need.

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

but cerealy, this is absolutely real. i'm a little bit surprised that you ask this instead of stating it. seems like maybe that's what you're doing.....reminding us that when we call each other a fucktard that we might actually hurt someone's feelings. ya bleeding heart nancy boy.

Truely, I am curious to know how others view the interactions here. I *know* my own opinion (which is that this is totally real and a valuable part of my real life, in case you were wondering), but as I learn more and more each day, my view of things is not always enough to form an accurate picture of consensus reality. I actually had no intention of chastising or otherwise trying to caution people about treating each other with respect. Adults ought to know that in the first place, IMHO, and if people mistreat other people online, I think it is a safe bet that they probably do that IRL as well.

I have made friendships here with people I have never met and very well may *never* meet. I value those friendships as much as those based on face to face interaction and shared in person experiences. I just thought it would be cool to see how others see things, and spur a bit of discussion about the whole concept.

[slang]

This community is real to me, of course.

The American structure of working a job has been that of continous toil year round with few if any real breaks for as far back as I have any personal experience.

Once you get out of school, whatever that might be, you are stuck in a lifelong journey of working and working and working.....only to have short breaks to recharge. During these short breaks, weekends, holidays and vacations (that are not only short but that you cannot take as you wish ), you are most often competing for time and space with every other person that has exactly that same short time away as well.

The weekends? There are too many people in my way to do anything. Holidays? Same thing. During the time that most everyone else is at work. Absolutely the best time to do anything. You arent competing with everyone in the world to get anything from a sub sandwhich to just getting somewhere on the road without a LAWS rocket and your face painted red.

Once I took the first contract and experienced the pure freedom of having both time and money without the bullshit of having to check in, get permission (?? fuck you ??) or somehow be tied by the gonads to some corporation, I was hooked. Direct jobs? With very few exceptions, I've recieved an offer from the contract that I'd finished at that time for a direct job. I'm not a direct job guy though. I know the freedom of taking time off to go abroad for months at a time......without some assbag requiring that I check in or file a report every week.

The "security" of direct jobs? I've seen those directs hit the door as a contractor more times than I can count. The security these days is only if you pimp yourself out CHEAP and bust your ass long and hard from my observation.

So anyway.....this means that I'll always be a wanderer. A FREE wanderer. A free wanderer that has time to get his head straight once a year with a real vacation.

What does the Cellar mean to someone that makes new friends, moves to a completely new area, has to ramp up instantly with a new company's policies once or maybe twice a year.

Familiarity.

When I leave a company, there are always people there that would somehow like to keep in touch. That's ridiculous. I dont tell them that to their faces because in their mind, they like me and want to stay friends. The reality is that I'll be 700 miles away 10 days from now and even if I did take the time to chat with them or take the time to e-mail, they would not.

Their lives are that of the real world, face to face friendships. They dont have any idea how to have friends any other way and only see face to face friendships as real.

Many times these same people "try to help me" by inviting me out for some social thing or that. Most often I politely decline saying something like..."I have friends online that I stay in contact with regardless of where I am...and those people are accustomed to being online, so we stay in touch long term...I'm not lonely nor depressed about not coming out of this little place that I've rented here."

Thanks for the offer but your life is completely different from mine. They most always think that my life is somehow lesser......until I send them a collection of postcards from places all over the world.....or the company that they have invested their entire life on lays off 15,000 people in one city...in one day and they suddenly realize that the house that they paid way too much for will be on the market competing for buyers with 15,000 more homes, at exactly the same time that all those people will be competing for jobs to pay for those mortgages.

Sucks to be me???

The Cellar is someplace that people know me, like me or not. I know most of the regulars here and people take this place seriously. People here often overlook my jack-ass-ish-ness or just put me on ignore, which seems to work out good.

There are a variety of topics to look into, learn from and contribute to. This makes the Cellar just what it used to say..... a little coffeeshop without the coffee or the shop.

There are also a wide variety of life experiences here as well. You can get some opinion or suggestions on so many things here from rebuilding a drum to surviving a divorce.

Most all people give the real deal too. It's not showmanship for the board.

This is my group of friends regardless of where I am at.

[Rock Steady]

Originally Posted by slang

... The Cellar is someplace that people know me, like me or not. I know most of the regulars here and people take this place seriously. People here often overlook my jack-ass-ish-ness or just put me on ignore, which seems to work out good. ...

Know you? Where did you come from all of a sudden? I see that you have a high post count. Since I follow a limited number of threads, I must have just missed you until recently. Although I have a small post count, I am somewhat memorable for being so screwed up.

As for Contract versus F/T, different strokes for different folks. I have a number of friends that rather contract. I don't like being disengaged like that. But, I hate big companies, the largest I worked for grew from 85 to 800 before I left. I prefer F/T at a 25-50 person company for 2-3 years.

[slang]

Originally Posted by Rock Steady

As for Contract versus F/T, different strokes for different folks. I have a number of friends that rather contract. I don't like being disengaged like that. But, I hate big companies, the largest I worked for grew from 85 to 800 before I left. .

'

There are months at a time that I lurk without logging in. Most of the time it's from foreign machine or that I'm interested in what's going on but am working long hours and dont have the time to really digest what everyone is doing now.

Posting something understandable and on topic takes a longer time for me to compose than I would guess that same task takes others also.

One day I'm here....for the next 3 months, I'm gone.

Contracting is a different world, yes. There are often barriers for the contractor where for the directs there are not.

I can only deal with the endless regulations and policies to oversee and control every nook and cranny of what a person might do on the job for just so long. The bigger companies are famous for that.

Big and inflexible but tend to pay more.

If only I could find an income that could travel as I do, independantly from the BS and stress of actually showing up in an office, I'd much rather not be a part of all that.

The reality is that as good as I am at my niche job, I'm all that much worse at the basic concepts of running a profitable business of almost any size.

Having such a job over the net or such would be something that I'd like very much to have. I've tried or am trying in one fashion or another but havent found that magic "thing" or service yet.

Despite the failures, I'll keep trying.

Then I'll stay in one place for a while and long for the days of going all over the place.

......I am somewhat memorable for being so screwed up.

Sounds like I have to reading to do. Screwed up people fascinate me...er, I mean....people from completely different circumstances in life and backgrounds interest me.

[yesman065]

Although very few if any of us have met IRL, I come here often to browse and get input/advice on things that I'm dealing with because many of you are or have dealt with these issues already. I find your input extremely important to me. Your responses have value because you have experience with these issues and I don't know others IRL that have dealt with the difficulties or opportunities which I am currently facing. That doesn't mean I always follow your advise, but your words have value nonetheless and I do consider them.

Conversely, I have recently been visiting "Myspace" to check up on my kids and what they are doing online and found many fake, irresponsible and utterly pathetic people there. It is quite refreshing to know that the cellar exists and it really does have more of a comforting feel to it. Although I may share some things from my life with "real friends" there are always some reservations about being judged or looked down upon because I am dating someone 18 yrs my junior. Sorry, Brianna and Bruce, but yes I'm still with her - sort of. And for what its worth, things are going very well.
The beauty of the cellar is that I can REALLY share what is going on with me without any fear of repercussions and receive honest valuable responses without the "Real Life" crap getting in the way. Here I believe most people tell it like they see it - and that is truly refreshing. Too many people in real life are too fake. Here that baggage doesn't exist. And for that, to all of you and the cellar, I extend a huge THANK YOU.

[mrnoodle]

Originally Posted by yesman065

because I am dating someone 18 yrs my junior.

Myspace hookup?

I keed, I keed.


Usually, you guys are an alternate reality for me. I can come in and be serious or flippant, depending on my mood, and don't have to justify or explain anything. I usually prefer to only comment on certain threads (e.g., ones that require only a one-liner or that deal with polarizing, emotional topics like religion). If someone thinks I'm an asshole, that's fine -- I'm not threatened by words or by some faceless clown with a login and an axe to grind.

But in recent months, I've talked to a couple of you outside the cellar, and was kind of surprised to find real depth and warmth there. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, seeing as how there's more to me than I let on in this environment -- I guess here more than anywhere else you only see what people want you to see.

So I guess what it all means is that I've only recently discovered the human undercurrent to the internet (thanks mostly to this site), and it's probably affected how I respond to people both online and in RL.

Nightmare fuel for this evening: faceless clowns.