A Short Review of Mass-Produced Honey Buns

Perry Winkle · 04-06-2007, 04:31 PM

Or, something only gluttons and cyclists (is there a difference?) care about.

Little Debbie Classic: Boring, small, no crusty glaze. Spend your 50-cents on two oatmeal cream pies.

Little Debbie Frosted: Small, and very gooey. Delicious, well worth 50-cents.

Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Classic: Crusty glaze, LARGE, and nicely gooey. Worth the premium if the commie bastards don't have the frosted version.

Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Frosted: I would give oral sex for these. 'Nuff said.

Non-honey bun category --

Apple Ugly Apple Pastry: Tasty, large, gooey, and a good change of pace. Could use a tad more "appleness."

Mrs. Freshley's Iced Cinnamon Buns: Milk required as they tend to be dry. I can't drink milk during a ride so these are pretty much out.

There's a roast beef cooking upstairs...it won't be ready for an hour...TORTURE.

Cloud · 04-06-2007, 04:47 PM

Love the title of this thread! When I think of honey buns, I think South Pacific:

My doll is as dainty as a sparrow,
Her figure is somethin' to applaud.
Where she's narrow she's as narrow an arrow,
And she's broad where a broad should be broad.

A hundred and one pounds of fun,
That's my little honey bun!
Get a load of honey bun tonight.

I'm speakin' of my Sweetie Pie,
Only sixty inches high,
Ev'ry inch is packed with dynamite!

Her hair is blond and curly,
Her curls are hurly-burly.
Her lips are pips!
I call her hips 'Twirly' and 'Whirly.'

She's my baby, I'm her pap!
I'm her booby, she's my trap!
I am caught and I don't wanna run,
'Cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun!

I am caught and I don't wanna run,
'Cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun!

Believe me sonny!
She a cookie who can cook you 'till you're done,
Ain't bein' funny!
Sonny, put your money on my honey bun!

Perry Winkle · 04-06-2007, 04:57 PM

I love it, Cloud!

I'll have to see that show sometime.

TheMercenary · 04-07-2007, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

Love the title of this thread! When I think of honey buns, I think South Pacific:

Great show! I grew up watching all the R&H musicals.

All those commerically prepared honey buns suck.

richlevy · 04-07-2007, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Great show! I grew up watching all the R&H musicals.

And they still let you into the armed forces?

Quote:

All those commerically prepared honey buns suck.

The ones I've had out of vending machines are bad, but some of the store bought are ok.

I work near an Entemann's Outlet and for a while I was bringing home their Ultimate Super Cinnamon Buns until my wife begged me to stop. Apparently, these form a very strong bond with XX chromosones.

Urbane Guerrilla · 04-20-2007, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richlevy

And they still let you into the armed forces?

The secret is not to sing show tunes in the showers.

Just hum them if you really must.

This information is no longer classified.

:p

Perry Winkle · 04-07-2007, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

All those commerically prepared honey buns suck.

If I could get freshed baked goods in the places I was riding through the past few days I would have. Normally pre-packaged bakery is absent from my diet.

Griff · 04-11-2007, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grant

If I could get freshed baked goods in the places I was riding through the past few days I would have. Normally pre-packaged bakery is absent from my diet.

There's and ultra cyclist (whose name escapes me) who swears by donut shops.

Perry Winkle · 04-11-2007, 12:33 PM

Roger Kramer and the Tour de Donut?

Cloud · 04-06-2007, 05:14 PM

you haven't seen it? [aghast]

elSicomoro · 04-06-2007, 05:21 PM

He's a youngin...they weren't well-exposed to classic musicals. Shit, neither was I for that matter...I'm 31.

Cloud · 04-06-2007, 05:29 PM

If you haven't seen South Pacific, you are perhaps not aware that the song is sung by a male sailor wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra.

As far as your predicament, I'd suggest a spanking to take your mind off food . . . but that would probably just remind you of buns!

bluecuracao · 04-06-2007, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

coconut bra.

Those things look so uncomfortable!

Cloud · 04-06-2007, 05:55 PM

Sometimes uncomfortable can be good. Looks kinda . . . restricting doesn't it?

As long as I'm hijacking poor Grant's thread (sorry, I'm being weird today) I'd like to honor that other cinematic ode to honeybuns:

Princess Leia!

(if I were really clever I'd post a clever Star Wars pic here . . . but I'm not).

Undertoad · 04-06-2007, 06:07 PM

S.P. was my high school musical, and my buddy Jim was an awesome honeybun, at 5'6" and about 241 pounds of fun.

He let it all hang out and earned much respect.

04-06-2007, 04:31 PM	#1
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	A Short Review of Mass-Produced Honey Buns Or, something only gluttons and cyclists (is there a difference?) care about. Little Debbie Classic: Boring, small, no crusty glaze. Spend your 50-cents on two oatmeal cream pies. Little Debbie Frosted: Small, and very gooey. Delicious, well worth 50-cents. Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Classic: Crusty glaze, LARGE, and nicely gooey. Worth the premium if the commie bastards don't have the frosted version. Mrs. Freshley's Jumbo Frosted: I would give oral sex for these. 'Nuff said. Non-honey bun category -- Apple Ugly Apple Pastry: Tasty, large, gooey, and a good change of pace. Could use a tad more "appleness." Mrs. Freshley's Iced Cinnamon Buns: Milk required as they tend to be dry. I can't drink milk during a ride so these are pretty much out. There's a roast beef cooking upstairs...it won't be ready for an hour...TORTURE.

04-06-2007, 04:47 PM	#2
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Love the title of this thread! When I think of honey buns, I think South Pacific: My doll is as dainty as a sparrow, Her figure is somethin' to applaud. Where she's narrow she's as narrow an arrow, And she's broad where a broad should be broad. A hundred and one pounds of fun, That's my little honey bun! Get a load of honey bun tonight. I'm speakin' of my Sweetie Pie, Only sixty inches high, Ev'ry inch is packed with dynamite! Her hair is blond and curly, Her curls are hurly-burly. Her lips are pips! I call her hips 'Twirly' and 'Whirly.' She's my baby, I'm her pap! I'm her booby, she's my trap! I am caught and I don't wanna run, 'Cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun! I am caught and I don't wanna run, 'Cause I'm havin' so much fun with honey bun! Believe me sonny! She a cookie who can cook you 'till you're done, Ain't bein' funny! Sonny, put your money on my honey bun! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-06-2007, 05:14 PM	#10
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	you haven't seen it? [aghast] __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-06-2007, 05:29 PM	#12
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	If you haven't seen South Pacific, you are perhaps not aware that the song is sung by a male sailor wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra. As far as your predicament, I'd suggest a spanking to take your mind off food . . . but that would probably just remind you of buns! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-06-2007, 05:55 PM	#14
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Sometimes uncomfortable can be good. Looks kinda . . . restricting doesn't it? As long as I'm hijacking poor Grant's thread (sorry, I'm being weird today) I'd like to honor that other cinematic ode to honeybuns: Princess Leia! (if I were really clever I'd post a clever Star Wars pic here . . . but I'm not). __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

04-06-2007, 04:57 PM	#3
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	I love it, Cloud! I'll have to see that show sometime.

04-11-2007, 12:33 PM	#9
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	Roger Kramer and the Tour de Donut?

04-06-2007, 05:21 PM	#11
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	He's a youngin...they weren't well-exposed to classic musicals. Shit, neither was I for that matter...I'm 31.

04-06-2007, 06:07 PM	#15
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	S.P. was my high school musical, and my buddy Jim was an awesome honeybun, at 5'6" and about 241 pounds of fun. He let it all hang out and earned much respect.

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