10/19/2004: Hung moose

Undertoad · 10-19-2004, 11:37 AM

Geodog points out this remarkable one... thanks!

If it's an animal image, and it's not Friday, it's not gonna be good. And that's the case here, as this moose was eventually destroyed. But he's alive in this shot...

Very similar to 1/15/2003: Dead deer mystery, except in this case we kinda know what the full story is.

This moose was happily minding his own business. And his business was kicking the ass of any other moose in the area. He was in "full rut", a condition in mating season in which a male moose is so horny and full of piss and vinegar that he will pretty much fight any other male moose in the area.

Unfortunately he is a moron, and so sometimes he will pick fights with things that aren't other male mooses but kinda sorta LOOK like other male mooses. Anything that looks like another set of antlers and moves. Pissed as hell, horny as hell, dumb as a stump... we've all known guys like that, and the destruction they can cause.

OK. Now, PAUSE a moment and consider stringing up electrical cable over long distances. As tw ponts out, maybe the lines should be buried. But when they're stringing across the Alaskan wilderness, where there's basically nothing, it'll be a lot cheaper to do it this way.

They've come up with an interesting way of stringing the cable, too. They lay the cable out along the ground, and then climb the poles and hang the cable through an eyelet at the top of every pole. At that point, the wire runs along the ground, except to where it rises up to the top of each pole. They leave it like that, and when they've strung FIVE MILES that way, they just PULL the ONE END of the cable, roll up it with a huge winch, and the five mile long cable is pulled, up from the ground to taut on the poles, with 5000 pounds of force. Cool!

Linesmen came through here and rolled out the cable in this way, days earlier. And then, from miles away, they started to pull the line. And this dumb moose saw this large movement, and decided it was fightin' time. But he proceeded to lose the battle spectacularly, as his antlers got caught up in a cable, and Mr. Moose got slowly dragged up in the line as a winch pulled it from miles away!!!

Fifty feet up, hung by his skull, barely alive, horny, pissed... by the time they got him down, he was thrashing about. They couldn't get him free, and figured he would die if they tranquilized him. In utilitarian Alaskan fashion, they decided that the best approach would be to just shoot him and donate the meat to a local needy guy. And that's what they did.

dar512 · 10-19-2004, 11:45 AM

Let this be a warning. -- Never let yourself get in a rut.

Cyber Wolf · 10-19-2004, 12:11 PM

When you live out in the middle of nowhere, you'd figure it'd be safe enough to strut your stuff but nooooo.

mmmBoy · 10-19-2004, 12:07 PM

Don Quixote would be so proud.

Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.

OnyxCougar · 10-20-2004, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmmBoy

Don Quixote would be so proud.

Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.

You didn't.

Bitman · 10-25-2004, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmmBoy

Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnyxCougar

You didn't.

Hate to nit-pick your nit-pick, but it's wrong on two counts. First mmmBoy never claimed to use those two words in a sentence. Although the "never thought" construction implies that conclusion, it doesn't make it explicitly.

Second, mmmBoy did indeed use those two words in a sentence, though they weren't subjects in the sentence.

OnyxCougar · 10-25-2004, 02:50 PM

If I said, "Never thought I'd jump off the roof" it would imply that I did jump off the roof.

And while it does not make it explicitly, as you stated, the implication was there.

So fuck you.

Edit: On reflection, that's a bit harsh. But christ on a cracker, I forget a smilie and I get nitpicked. Cut me some slack, bit.

mmmBoy · 10-26-2004, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bitman

Hate to nit-pick your nit-pick, but it's wrong on two counts. First mmmBoy never claimed to use those two words in a sentence. Although the "never thought" construction implies that conclusion, it doesn't make it explicitly.

Second, mmmBoy did indeed use those two words in a sentence, though they weren't subjects in the sentence.

Cheers, Bitman. And I thought that I was the only one with two English professors for parents.

BTW, if I said out loud "Oh, a quixotic moose" and then wrote "I never thought I'd say quixotic moose" it doesn't mean that I want to go bungee jumping.

mmmBoy · 10-19-2004, 12:17 PM

"Like a moose on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free"

--Leonard Cohen

Brown Thrasher · 10-19-2004, 12:31 PM

I agree when they took him down, he was probably dying, pissed, and probably terribly confused. I just don't know about his still being horny............ Anyway he won't have to worry about ending up in that situation again. He appears to have sacrificed his life. However, some say something good comes out of all difficult life situations. In this case some hungry soul will have a nice dinner.

Elspode · 10-19-2004, 12:45 PM

Hey, Rocky...watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! Nothin' up my sleeve...presto!

No doubt about it...we gotta breed a smarter moose.

melidasaur · 10-19-2004, 05:32 PM

when I saw hung moose as the headline, i wasn't thinking that this moose was going to be literally hanging - i thought it was going to have huge genitalia.

wolf · 10-21-2004, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

No doubt about it...we gotta breed a smarter moose.

Given the likelihood that this fellow did not get a chance to get his moosey rocks off, we just did.

Can animals win the Darwin Award? This boy at least deserves honorable mention.

Elspode · 10-21-2004, 01:20 PM

"Moosey Rocks Off"...yet another band name!

Undertoad · 10-19-2004, 05:44 PM

Well the picture isn't that detailed... he just might.

10-19-2004, 11:37 AM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	10/19/2004: Hung moose Geodog points out this remarkable one... thanks! If it's an animal image, and it's not Friday, it's not gonna be good. And that's the case here, as this moose was eventually destroyed. But he's alive in this shot... Very similar to 1/15/2003: Dead deer mystery, except in this case we kinda know what the full story is. This moose was happily minding his own business. And his business was kicking the ass of any other moose in the area. He was in "full rut", a condition in mating season in which a male moose is so horny and full of piss and vinegar that he will pretty much fight any other male moose in the area. Unfortunately he is a moron, and so sometimes he will pick fights with things that aren't other male mooses but kinda sorta LOOK like other male mooses. Anything that looks like another set of antlers and moves. Pissed as hell, horny as hell, dumb as a stump... we've all known guys like that, and the destruction they can cause. OK. Now, PAUSE a moment and consider stringing up electrical cable over long distances. As tw ponts out, maybe the lines should be buried. But when they're stringing across the Alaskan wilderness, where there's basically nothing, it'll be a lot cheaper to do it this way. They've come up with an interesting way of stringing the cable, too. They lay the cable out along the ground, and then climb the poles and hang the cable through an eyelet at the top of every pole. At that point, the wire runs along the ground, except to where it rises up to the top of each pole. They leave it like that, and when they've strung FIVE MILES that way, they just PULL the ONE END of the cable, roll up it with a huge winch, and the five mile long cable is pulled, up from the ground to taut on the poles, with 5000 pounds of force. Cool! Linesmen came through here and rolled out the cable in this way, days earlier. And then, from miles away, they started to pull the line. And this dumb moose saw this large movement, and decided it was fightin' time. But he proceeded to lose the battle spectacularly, as his antlers got caught up in a cable, and Mr. Moose got slowly dragged up in the line as a winch pulled it from miles away!!! Fifty feet up, hung by his skull, barely alive, horny, pissed... by the time they got him down, he was thrashing about. They couldn't get him free, and figured he would die if they tranquilized him. In utilitarian Alaskan fashion, they decided that the best approach would be to just shoot him and donate the meat to a local needy guy. And that's what they did.

10-19-2004, 12:11 PM	#3
Cyber Wolf As stable as a ring of PU-239 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: On a huge rock covered in water, highly advanced moss and 7 billion parasites Posts: 1,264	When you live out in the middle of nowhere, you'd figure it'd be safe enough to strut your stuff but nooooo. __________________ "I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then getting' upset 'cos they act like people." ~Adam Young, Good Omens "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out." ~Adam Young, Good Omens

10-25-2004, 02:50 PM	#7
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	If I said, "Never thought I'd jump off the roof" it would imply that I did jump off the roof. And while it does not make it explicitly, as you stated, the implication was there. So fuck you. Edit: On reflection, that's a bit harsh. But christ on a cracker, I forget a smilie and I get nitpicked. Cut me some slack, bit. __________________ Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt Last edited by OnyxCougar; 10-25-2004 at 02:53 PM.

10-19-2004, 12:31 PM	#10
Brown Thrasher self=proclaimed ass looking for truth whatever that means Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: A treehouse Posts: 193	I agree when they took him down, he was probably dying, pissed, and probably terribly confused. I just don't know about his still being horny............ Anyway he won't have to worry about ending up in that situation again. He appears to have sacrificed his life. However, some say something good comes out of all difficult life situations. In this case some hungry soul will have a nice dinner. __________________ Let it rain, it eases pain.....

10-19-2004, 12:45 PM	#11
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Hey, Rocky...watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat! Nothin' up my sleeve...presto! No doubt about it...we gotta breed a smarter moose. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-19-2004, 11:45 AM	#2
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Let this be a warning. -- Never let yourself get in a rut.

10-19-2004, 12:07 PM	#4
mmmBoy El Queso Grande Join Date: May 2004 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 54	Don Quixote would be so proud. Never thought I would use "quixotic" and "moose" in the same sentence.

10-19-2004, 12:17 PM	#9
mmmBoy El Queso Grande Join Date: May 2004 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 54	"Like a moose on the wire Like a drunk in a midnight choir I have tried in my way to be free" --Leonard Cohen

10-19-2004, 05:32 PM	#12
melidasaur Traded your soul for pogs. Join Date: May 2004 Location: Champaign, IL Posts: 646	when I saw hung moose as the headline, i wasn't thinking that this moose was going to be literally hanging - i thought it was going to have huge genitalia. __________________ I love England, what can I say?

10-21-2004, 01:20 PM	#14
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	"Moosey Rocks Off"...yet another band name! __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-19-2004, 05:44 PM	#15
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Well the picture isn't that detailed... he just might.

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