Getting old and dealing with doctors, my take

[chrisinhouston]

As some of you may know I was the caregiver for my mother for 3 years until she died and also for my dad for the 9 months or so he lived after my mother died. Now I am helping out with my mother in law who still is able to live independently but is in a state of decline.

Yesterday I took her for a follow up visit with a new orthopedic surgeon who she first saw last month. She had a complete shoulder replacement last year but unfortunately the physical therapist after surgery pushed her too hard and severely damaged her rotator cuff. The doctor who did the replacement tried to repair the tears but was unsuccessful so he recommended another surgeon within the practice who does a special kind of operation called a Reverse Shoulder Replacement. She saw him last month and they did a cat scan and other tests so this was a followup. He said he could do the special surgery if she wanted with the approval of other doctors she sees like heart and kidney ones.

So here is my take: This getting old really sucks. There is no way my mother in law or my parents when they were alive could have navigated the crazy maze of medical care, seeing all the different doctors and filling out countless forms that ask the same questions or really stupid ones like "how far can you throw a softball" !!! I felt like writing, "patient is 86 and has a hard time wiping her butt let alone throwing a softball!"

I get frustrated with all the politicians who go on about how people should be empowered to control their health care and not have government tell them what they can do or who to see! Empowered? My mother in law can't understand what the doctors say 5 minutes after they say it and with her thick Tennessee accent and not wearing her dentures they can hardly understand her. I act as translator half the time. Because her shoulder is so bad I had to sign every form for her and print my name and what my relationship was. She has no idea what medications she takes so I have to list everything and the dosage and reason she takes it. I had to list all her past surgeries including her date of last menstruation which was 1960 when she had a hysterectomy. Hell, I know way more than I should I guess and she is lucky to have someone to help her out but think about all the older folks who don't have anyone. That sucks double time! Also what gets me is that even though this is one huge orthopedic practice the doctors don't seem to share patient information. It would have made sense if they would have just transferred in her records so far and then asked followup questions but instead I had to fill out all the stuff again.

Maybe there was a reason that humans used to not live so long.

[Gravdigr]

You are correct, sir. Getting old does suck, but, as I've said here many times, it beats the alternative. What really sucks, is having to watch loved ones getting older, and having to become caregiver, while you yourself are getting older.

It's really the dirty end of the stick.

[Lamplighter]

Chris, you're doing good, and you're are right about duplicate medical records,
but what else can you do while in the Waiting Room, except keep thinking "karma":

[glatt]

The lack of communication is the worst.

My FIL has been in the hospital with a broken back for two weeks, and with each shift, it's a new face, and they don't have the half an hour it takes to read the growing chart. So they all ask us for the executive summary of what's going on. At least he's been there so long, I think we have gotten everyone up to speed about him.

But it's amazing. You tell a doctor that he has a broken back and therefore trouble breathing, and they stand there, nodding their head, and then ask him to sit up and lean forward to they can listen to his lungs while he breathes. But he's not supposed to lean forward, because the added pressure on the fracture might make his spine snap clean in half. Not to mention the pain is causes. But they are on autopilot, asking him to lean forward so it's a little easier for them to position their stethoscope.

You're absolutely right that it's critical for someone to be there with them. I don't know how single old people with no kids survive the medical system.

[Gravdigr]

I assume some of them don't.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I find no matter which doctor I go to in my Medicare/HMO system, they print out my list of medications and view my complete history.
The heart doctor says, "Oh, I see you had your ears cleaned and tested."