Core Values. I has them.

Cloud · 03-22-2010, 11:26 AM

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my values and goals recently.The exercise is to determine your 5 top "core" values.

After a great deal of thought, here are mine. Try not to make too much fun of me, dear Cellarites. If you know yours, and are willing to share, that's fine, but I completely understand they might be personal, too.

Independence
(health, mobility/strength, financial security, personal security/safety, singledom, control)

Intellectuality
(intellectual curiosity & pursuit, creativity, learning, teaching, intelligence)

Joy
(family love, relationships/friends, nature, dance, spirituality, art/beauty)

Nonconformity
(different drummer, freedom, alternative living, whimsy, FTW)

Serenity
(peace & quiet, low stress/low activity, relaxation, zen)

I think I first ran into this reading "Smart Women Finish Rich" by David Bach, wherein he makes the point that you should spend your money in line with your values. And make goals in line with your values, and actually live your life pursuant to them, etc.

Of course, that's assuming you know what your values are. Your own values--not other people's. I think you really run into trouble if you try to live your live according to other people's values--your parents', your church's, or some other subset of "must/should/ought." That's what happens to people in midlife when they suddenly wake up and go, WTF? This isn't the way I want to live my life!

I also think the process is valuable, trying to identify what is important to you. And it's so very personal: My "freedom" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as your "freedom."

Anyway: If you are interested,here are some links on the subject.

The art of manliness: Defining your core values

David Bach article

skysidhe · 03-22-2010, 11:47 AM

We all cherish and value people whose values are in line with our own. For me his isn't about making other peoples values my own it is about sharing like mindedness.

Happiness
Health
Hope
Honesty
Humor

Two more add-ons

security
self-reliance.

I must add two more though because those first five values don't matter much if there isn't any security and self-reliance.

Cloud · 03-22-2010, 12:59 PM

some things surprised me during this process. I found I had to grope for words that meant what I wanted them to mean. "Singledom," "intellectuality," and the like are maybe made up. I came up with "serenity" finally after using "peace" and a bunch of other stuff.

I was surprised that being single was one of my basic sub-values, and not just a result of them.

Urbane Guerrilla · 03-25-2010, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cloud

some things surprised me during this process. I found I had to grope for words that meant what I wanted them to mean. "Singledom," "intellectuality," and the like are maybe made up. I came up with "serenity" finally after using "peace" and a bunch of other stuff.

I was surprised that being single was one of my basic sub-values, and not just a result of them.

Just on the face of it, I find "singledom" hard to integrate with "family" kind of values. Is there not a conflict here?

Then too, I do have a happy marriage, and value that. It ain't just the regular sex and the warm bed and the predawn snuggles; there's fulfilment in a good partnership. Some people have a very hard time finding a good partner, and others are simply awful partners themselves, incapable of a good marriage and with no business trying it.

Of the Heinleinian-style virtues, competence either makes independence, or is independence. Not sure which, nor sure I should be concerned, when there is the doing of it to be doing.

classicman · 03-22-2010, 01:25 PM

Family
Health
Peace
Balance
Security

Cloud · 03-22-2010, 01:32 PM

it can be hard to separate values from goals. I mean -- health. Is health a value? or a goal? It could be either. Security is a goal, really, a basic need. That's why I bundled good health and financial and personal security into my value of "independence." Although I guess independence could be a goal, too. fardle!

Pico and ME · 03-22-2010, 02:09 PM

Im stuck in a rut goal/value-wise. Juggling our finances so that we can save and spend at the same time is taking up most of my energy. Ive been working hard at getting our debt down, too. Its an up and down battle. I wish I could break free of it, because it seems almost every decision I make is related to money.

Cloud · 03-22-2010, 02:41 PM

but do you spend your money in line with your values? This is one real great reason to sit down and figure this out. Maybe you're spending a lot of your money keeping up with someone else's values.

If you're in a rut, maybe take the time to set some of these values down, and come up with your own list.

Pico and ME · 03-22-2010, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Maybe you're spending a lot of your money keeping up with someone else's values

Nope. Im 48, I stopped living according to someone else's values a long time ago.

Cloud · 03-22-2010, 03:04 PM

Well, that's good. You say that every decision you make comes down to money. Can you make a plan, then automate some of it? then forget about it? (mostly)

Trilby · 03-22-2010, 03:50 PM

It is too exhausting to have core values. I have satellite values and vague fears.

Shawnee123 · 03-22-2010, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

It is too exhausting to have core values. I have satellite values and vague fears.

Stuff like this is why you are priceless!

skysidhe · 03-22-2010, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

It is too exhausting to have core values. I have satellite values and vague fears.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Stuff like this is why you are priceless!

That's what I thought too. It's so angst -y and poetical.

It belongs on a poster. It's too good of material for a bumper sticker.

I sobering proclamation. Something we have all felt and I do appreciate getting to the heart(s) of the matter(s).

Thank you for being you Bri.

Pie · 03-22-2010, 04:53 PM

Curiosity
Loyalty
Integrity
Novelty
Serenity

Cloud · 03-22-2010, 05:04 PM

"novelty"? What does that mean to you? Seems odd for a core value that you base your life on. Is it the cult of the new that attracts you?

03-22-2010, 11:26 AM	#1
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Core Values. I has them. So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my values and goals recently.The exercise is to determine your 5 top "core" values. After a great deal of thought, here are mine. Try not to make too much fun of me, dear Cellarites. If you know yours, and are willing to share, that's fine, but I completely understand they might be personal, too. Independence (health, mobility/strength, financial security, personal security/safety, singledom, control) Intellectuality (intellectual curiosity & pursuit, creativity, learning, teaching, intelligence) Joy (family love, relationships/friends, nature, dance, spirituality, art/beauty) Nonconformity (different drummer, freedom, alternative living, whimsy, FTW) Serenity (peace & quiet, low stress/low activity, relaxation, zen) I think I first ran into this reading "Smart Women Finish Rich" by David Bach, wherein he makes the point that you should spend your money in line with your values. And make goals in line with your values, and actually live your life pursuant to them, etc. Of course, that's assuming you know what your values are. Your own values--not other people's. I think you really run into trouble if you try to live your live according to other people's values--your parents', your church's, or some other subset of "must/should/ought." That's what happens to people in midlife when they suddenly wake up and go, WTF? This isn't the way I want to live my life! I also think the process is valuable, trying to identify what is important to you. And it's so very personal: My "freedom" doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as your "freedom." Anyway: If you are interested,here are some links on the subject. The art of manliness: Defining your core values David Bach article __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

03-22-2010, 12:59 PM	#3
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	some things surprised me during this process. I found I had to grope for words that meant what I wanted them to mean. "Singledom," "intellectuality," and the like are maybe made up. I came up with "serenity" finally after using "peace" and a bunch of other stuff. I was surprised that being single was one of my basic sub-values, and not just a result of them. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

03-22-2010, 01:25 PM	#5
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Family Health Peace Balance Security __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-22-2010, 01:32 PM	#6
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	it can be hard to separate values from goals. I mean -- health. Is health a value? or a goal? It could be either. Security is a goal, really, a basic need. That's why I bundled good health and financial and personal security into my value of "independence." Although I guess independence could be a goal, too. fardle! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

03-22-2010, 02:41 PM	#8
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	but do you spend your money in line with your values? This is one real great reason to sit down and figure this out. Maybe you're spending a lot of your money keeping up with someone else's values. If you're in a rut, maybe take the time to set some of these values down, and come up with your own list. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

03-22-2010, 11:47 AM	#2
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	We all cherish and value people whose values are in line with our own. For me his isn't about making other peoples values my own it is about sharing like mindedness. Happiness Health Hope Honesty Humor Two more add-ons security self-reliance. I must add two more though because those first five values don't matter much if there isn't any security and self-reliance.

03-22-2010, 02:09 PM	#7
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Im stuck in a rut goal/value-wise. Juggling our finances so that we can save and spend at the same time is taking up most of my energy. Ive been working hard at getting our debt down, too. Its an up and down battle. I wish I could break free of it, because it seems almost every decision I make is related to money.

03-22-2010, 03:04 PM	#10
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Well, that's good. You say that every decision you make comes down to money. Can you make a plan, then automate some of it? then forget about it? (mostly) __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

03-22-2010, 03:50 PM	#11
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	It is too exhausting to have core values. I have satellite values and vague fears. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-22-2010, 04:53 PM	#14
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Curiosity Loyalty Integrity Novelty Serenity __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-22-2010, 05:04 PM	#15
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	"novelty"? What does that mean to you? Seems odd for a core value that you base your life on. Is it the cult of the new that attracts you? __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

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