Divorce

[perth]

Originally posted by plthijinx
something that might help you get through the anger phase could be to start a work out regiment. be it jogging, riding, lifting weights or even a punching bag. i lifted weights and that eased a lot of stress, along with a bunch of heineken calories! oh, and if your going to drink, don't do it excessively. better yet, looking back, don't do it at all. i stayed drunk for two months and all it did was take my money and leave me with a hangover.

Yeah, I've been exercising a lot more than I used to. In the past few months, I've lost like 20 pounds. It's kinda nice.

I've avoided drinking pretty well. A beer or 2 here and there when in the company of friends has been nice, but I'm not really drinking at home, unless it's the occasional 3.2 grocery store special.

Perth, you are a strong person for being able to come out here and lay it bare. Thank you for thinking of both of us right now, despite the hurt you are feeling. I have confidence in the both of us. I know we will be able to come through this and remain friends.

Thanks Case.

[lumberjim]

i have no advice to offer. I kind of wish i did, but mostly I'm glad I don't. I have a request instead. Please, both of you, stay with us here. I say that for mainly selfish reasons. I like both of you, and would hate to see either of you stop posting. Also, as is apparent, there is lots of advice to be had from some of us that have been through this, are going through this, or have come back from the edge of this. I wish you both happiness in the end.

Jim

[Radar]

Sorry to hear you're splitting up. It's hard no matter what you do. It took me 3 years of serious depression before I could even date again. She was already re-married and he was living in the house I paid for by that point.

I am not friends with my ex and I'm thankful we didn't have children together. We didn't have them because she was selfish but it's best we didn't.

Now she is someone else's problem and she's got the worst punishment I could wish on anyone and so does her new husband. They both have to live with her.

It's nice to see you both being cordial and kind to each other. I don't know how you have the strength to manage it. The few times I saw my wife after our divorce, got me choked up and hardly able to talk.

Best wishes to you both even though I don't always get along with you.

[perth]

Originally posted by lumberjim
i have no advice to offer. I kind of wish i did, but mostly I'm glad I don't. I have a request instead. Please, both of you, stay with us here. I say that for mainly selfish reasons. I like both of you, and would hate to see either of you stop posting. Also, as is apparent, there is lots of advice to be had from some of us that have been through this, are going through this, or have come back from the edge of this. I wish you both happiness in the end.

Well, I primis I will hang around. I cannot speak for Case, but I imagine she feels the same. Thank you for the kind words, LJ, it means a lot.

Best wishes to you both even though I don't always get along with you.

Thanks Radar.

[kerosene]

I have no intention of leaving the cellar. This place has been a haven for me. I appreciate all of the kind words and advice from everyone.

To clarify a little bit, perth and I have been friends for a long time. We were best friends before we ever dated. Even through our marriage, we strived to maintain that friendship. That is the strength that gets me (and maybe perth, too) through this. I will always be here for him, though it is hard sometimes. I have faith that he will be here for me, too.

Now, it is time to move on. I will treasure the good memories of our past. I will respect and care about perth. And in the interest of our son, I will make a point to support him as our little boy's father.

Of course, I don't want to share the intricate details about why and what went wrong...I believe we are moving past that. Now, it is time for the both of us to live life. There are going to be some very difficult moments for a while. I know that we will go through some strong and painful emotions. And I will be here for perth to lean on, but he doesn't have to...and I know I can rely on him. We were always friends, and I anticipate that we will be friends for a very long time.

[warch]

Ive seen continued close friendships when I thought there was no chance. But its what everyone really wanted. It took some time, but is good,... better. All the best, you three.

[perth]

And if we start rejecting one over the other.

Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

I don't see that happening too much here. Maybe somewhat in real life, but not so much here on the Cellar.

[dar512]

Doubly too late. Already deleted. You were right, Jim.

[perth]

It's cool LJ. I appreciate the concern, though. We both need to learn to laugh about things and while I agree that the "experiment" comment might be somewhat lacking in the taste department, I did get a chuckle out of it.

[perth]

I am so not deleting my posts. :p

[kerosene]

Now I am super curious. I guess I was slacking on the thread and didn't check it often enough to catch the elusive post.

[DanaC]

What I miss? What I miss? damn....hate when I miss stuff...

[plthijinx]

i'm glad to see that y'all can be friends though this tough time. that and i know that there are things that y'all are not posting as well as they shouldn't. just remember that there is a tomorrow and the anger/guilt/self doubt will subside. hell, i went over to shannon's yesterday to help her move furniture upstairs! how crazy is that?!?! not really, though. we get along, i got to see my boy, (ex-mother-in-law too. bleh!) we do favors for each other. it's cool. one thing that is WAY cool is even though T is in her custody and we have the usual wednesdays and every other weekend thing assigned by the court, we don't follow it. i get to see T every day. you two should try and do the same. shannon takes him to daycare and i pick him up after work. we hang out, play or whatever. then i feed him supper and take him to shannon. it works out quite well with us. i know i'm just babbling but though i'd through in this two cents worth......fred

[OnyxCougar]

I thought one of the cardinal sins of this place is deleting posts??

[perth]

Right now we're doing it so that Jamey spends the week with Case and the weekends with me. I'm moving into a little 1 bedroom apartment and I want to disrupt his routine as little as possible. Case is taking the house and he has a home here. My angle really is that I'm going to make the little apartment our "guy place" and make sure his weekends are as fun-filled and as educational as possible. I'll probably see him several times during the week, but we both (Case and I) kind of need our space from each other. So for now, at least, seeing him everyday is probably not a good idea. Eventually, I think. Once he's a bit older and we can work that into a routine for him.