6/23/2003: Bloody antler trade

[bmgb]

Originally posted by wolf


You stop dissin' the celery!!

I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.

It's good in soup too.

[Elspode]

I'm going to learn this song one day, because it is so fucking funny...I would, in fact, be happy to post it in my webspace and send you guys the link if you'd like to hear it.


"Carrot Juice is Murder" by The Arrogant Worms

listen up brothers and sisters come hear my desperate tale
i speak of our friends of nature trapped in the dirt like a jail
vegetables live in oppression, served on our tables each night
this killing of veggies is madness, i say we take up the fight
salads are only for murderers, coleslaw's a fascist regime
don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream

Chorus:
i've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
watching their skins being peeled (having their insides revealed)
grated and steamed with no mercy (burning off calories)
how do you think that feels (that it hurts really bad)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (and that's a real crime)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves (let my vegetables go)
it's time to stop all this gardening (it's dirty as hell)
let's call a spade a spade (is a spade is a spade is a spade)

I saw a man eating celery, so i beat him black and blue
if he ever touches a sprout again, i'll bite him clean in two
i'm a political prisonner, trapped in a windowless cage
cause i stopped the slaughter of turnips by killing five men in a rage
i told the judge when he sentenced me "this is my finest hour"
i'd kill those farmers again just to save one more cauliflower

Chorus

how low as people do we dare to stoop,
making young broccolis bleed in the soup
untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
let potted plants free, don't mash that potato
oh spare the spud! Eat a cow instead!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (scream, scream, scream)
watching their skins being peeled (fates in the stir-fry are sealed)
grated and steamed with no mercy (you fat gourmet slob)
how do you think that feels (leave them out in the field)
Carrot juice constitutes murder (V8's genocide)
greenhouses prisons for slaves (yes, your composts are graves)
it's time to stop all this gardening (take up macrame)
let's call a spade a spade
(is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a spade......)

Power to the peas! Give peas a chance!
all we are saying, is give peas a chance

[Elspode]

OK, there was no particular hew and cry to hear this, but here it is anyway...

http://www.lunalushede.org/songs/Arr... Is Murder.mp3

[quzah]

Originally posted by juju
If we all become vegetarians, we may well eat our own poop in 100,000 years. Think about it.

It must be hard to walk with your ass on backwards.

So, the theory here is that eating veggies makes you stupid and lazy, right? Ok, so about those meat-only animals, they all should be incredibly smart right? No? You mean they eat shit too? Gee, so much for your stunning revelation.

To take this a step further, since humans are considered omnivores, carnivores then should be vastly superior intellectually. Unfortunately for your analogy, that just doesn't quite fit.

For example, wolves, not being unlike your common household dog, also tend to eat shit. Guess what? They're considered carnivores.

Just when you think you've heard every stupid analogy possible, someone comes up with a new one. People never cease to amaze me.

Quzah.

[russotto]

Originally posted by quzah

Just when you think you've heard every stupid analogy possible, someone comes up with a new one. People never cease to amaze me.

Apparently vegetarianism causes you to lose your sense of humor.

[juju]

Originally posted by quzah
So, the theory here is that eating veggies makes you stupid and lazy, right? Ok, so about those meat-only animals, they all should be incredibly smart right? No? You mean they eat shit too? Gee, so much for your stunning revelation.

I never said anything about stupid and lazy, I said gorillas don't have very much energy because of the food they eat. Of course, that's because they <i>only</i> eat leaves. They eat their feces because the leaves are so hard to digest that they have to eat it several times to finish getting all the nutrients out of it.

Chimpanzees eat fruit and bugs (and sometimes hunt monkeys), and they're really hyper. So, I suppose a more varied vegetarian diet would be okay, but I was stretching the point for humor's sake.

Originally posted by quzah
For example, wolves, not being unlike your common household dog, also tend to eat shit. Guess what? They're considered carnivores.

Yeah, but what you don't say is that they only eat it if food is in short supply. That's what I'm saying. Animals who can't get sufficient nutrients from their normal diet find other ways to supplement it. How about just having a decent diet in the first place?

[Leus]

A filet mignon looks pretty smart to me. But, alas, if you add à la crème de champignon flambé au cognac it looks even smarter.

[bmgb]

Originally posted by russotto


Apparently vegetarianism causes you to lose your sense of humor.

<scowl>
That's not funny.
</scowl>

[Uryoces]

Originally posted by bmgb


Yeah, there is no defense for celery.

Blasphemy! It's eaten between hot wings to ease the burn. The Wingodome rules!

[xoxoxoBruce]

That's not funny.

Would you STEAK your reputation on that?

[quzah]

Originally posted by juju
Yeah, but what you don't say is that they only eat it if food is in short supply. That's what I'm saying. Animals who can't get sufficient nutrients from their normal diet find other ways to supplement it. How about just having a decent diet in the first place?

You've never had a dog have you? How exactly does this differ from your shit eating monkies you were talking about? Ah, that's right, there is no difference. So the original point was?

Quzah.

[juju]

Of course there's a difference. Scientists have no idea why dogs do it, but they do know why wolves and gorillas do it. You don't think it can be done for different reasons?

[quzah]

Originally posted by juju
Of course there's a difference. Scientists have no idea why dogs do it, but they do know why wolves and gorillas do it. You don't think it can be done for different reasons?

So you're saying that the only time monkies or wolves eat shit is because they're starving? This being the case, I don't really see how this makes them stupid, since they're doing it out of survival. That being said, I believe humans behave in similar fashion. For example, making your own water. The latter case is less extreme, but there are situations not unsimilar to eating shit, for example eating dirt. While Google isn't "the source of all undeniable proof", I have watched more than one show on PBS where in Africa, people eat dirt because they have nothing else to eat. I believe the explanation given was that they were just trying to get something into their stomache to ease the hunger.

So again, how does this make said plant eater stupid, when, according to you, they eat shit to survive?

Quzah.

[juju]

Again, I never said anything about stupidity. Intelligence doesn't figure into my argument at all

I'm not sure what your point is with the links. Yes, people do crazy shit when they can't get proper nutrition. That's my entire point.

Also, gorillas are apes, not monkeys.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I eat meat because I want to, but hey this is America and I'll defend to the death your right to eat shit.