Desperate times begat desperate thoughts begat...

[elSicomoro]

Life is good right now...in fact, life fucking rules! Now granted, I always think life is good, even when things suck, but...

Prior to spring, life didn't seem as great...the job situation, Rho's health, money, etc. And there would be these brief moments where my mind would turn to the "dark side."

There would be some moments where I would be like, "Man, I should start selling drugs. I could easily sell to the turds in this neighborhood and make a pile of money." Now granted, I would never do this, and the thoughts were brief, but they were there.

The same thing with suicide..."You know, this shit would be a lot easier if I were dead." And again, I'd never do it, and it was a brief thought.

But thinking back to those times makes me wonder about acts of desperation in general. Now maybe I'm just weirder than most folk, but it makes me wonder about how the human brain reacts in a given situation. Remember Trading Places? That sorta thing. I mean, things were just suck ass at the beginning of this year, and my spirit was pretty low. And though things weren't exactly that desperate, they weren't great.

So I'm wondering...did I just have the common sense or intelligence to just know what I was thinking was bad? Did my upbringing tell me I knew better? Or was it sheer force of will that pulled me out of that rut? Or was it a combination of things?

The number of folks in prison is at an all time high, from what I've seen and heard. Why? So many factors could be in play here...and we know the stories about "My mom was a hooker and a junkie" and "I just wanted to get some milk for my kid, b/c she hadn't eaten in 2 days." But then there are also the folks that feel slighted for whatever, and decide they've been so wronged that only murder is sufficient for payback.

Anyone up for debating nature vs. nurture?