Kids dating in America

monster · 06-14-2012, 10:21 PM

HELP!

I need to know the norm. Which is hard in such a huge, diverse country. I know parents who are fine with their 11-year-olds "dating" -thankfully this turns out to be all talk and no "action". And I know parents who forbid dating at all before 18. I think they're a little OTT

Our 14yo wants to go to the movies with her boyfriend. When I was 14, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, but there were no multiplexes running movies to empty theaters -there were no empty seats. You had to book in advance to ensure seats. There were also no 11yolds "dating" and there was no facebook. We did snog a little, but mostly the bad things we did were smoke and drink. You would get thrown out for canoodling and it wasn't exactly private.

I trust her, I think I trust him, although he's kind of touchy-feely and I don't really know him that well. and he's a teenage boy. They are not interested in being chaperoned by their peers. Their "connection" is academic -their IMs compare grades.... and she held off his advances for almost a year. I think I'm more worried about what people will think rather than what they will actually get up to -I don't think she'll let him take any advantages.... but will people think she did? This is all new territory to me 'cause I don't give a shit what people think about me, but I kind of feel that's more OK in the UK than it is here. It feels like my job at this point is to protect her reputation -how do I do that? Would you or your kids think a 14yo girl going to a movie with her boyfriend unchaperoned was "easy"?

One of her only slightly younger although a grade below (still in middle school, she's in high school) friends was recently only allowed to go on a movie "date" if a bunch of friends came too. But they're kind of prudish. Lovely, but told me they would never let their daughter wear what i let mine wear -even though it completely surpassed school dress code (wedge-heel cheetah-print ankle boots on dress-up day, with tights and a below-knee black dress)

I feel at sea......

06-14-2012, 10:21 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Kids dating in America HELP! I need to know the norm. Which is hard in such a huge, diverse country. I know parents who are fine with their 11-year-olds "dating" -thankfully this turns out to be all talk and no "action". And I know parents who forbid dating at all before 18. I think they're a little OTT Our 14yo wants to go to the movies with her boyfriend. When I was 14, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, but there were no multiplexes running movies to empty theaters -there were no empty seats. You had to book in advance to ensure seats. There were also no 11yolds "dating" and there was no facebook. We did snog a little, but mostly the bad things we did were smoke and drink. You would get thrown out for canoodling and it wasn't exactly private. I trust her, I think I trust him, although he's kind of touchy-feely and I don't really know him that well. and he's a teenage boy. They are not interested in being chaperoned by their peers. Their "connection" is academic -their IMs compare grades.... and she held off his advances for almost a year. I think I'm more worried about what people will think rather than what they will actually get up to -I don't think she'll let him take any advantages.... but will people think she did? This is all new territory to me 'cause I don't give a shit what people think about me, but I kind of feel that's more OK in the UK than it is here. It feels like my job at this point is to protect her reputation -how do I do that? Would you or your kids think a 14yo girl going to a movie with her boyfriend unchaperoned was "easy"? One of her only slightly younger although a grade below (still in middle school, she's in high school) friends was recently only allowed to go on a movie "date" if a bunch of friends came too. But they're kind of prudish. Lovely, but told me they would never let their daughter wear what i let mine wear -even though it completely surpassed school dress code (wedge-heel cheetah-print ankle boots on dress-up day, with tights and a below-knee black dress) I feel at sea...... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)