Important Question

Big Sarge · 08-12-2011, 09:38 AM

We're in a heated discussion between our police department and fire department. This has been raging for several days and I need to get some outside opinions. Anyway, if you are invisible and take a dump does the crap remain invisible once it has left your body? Also how can you tell if you got your ass clean?

grynch · 08-12-2011, 09:42 AM

I heard this one the news this morning...
http://news.sky.com/home/article/16046880
but as it's a cloak once outside of the cloak... you smelt it you dealt it.

as for real invisibility.. you'd have to ask the Invisible Girl.. and if you find her do let me know.... I've got something I'd like to show her.

grynch · 08-12-2011, 09:45 AM

...meantime... can I have some of whatever the doc's been slippin' you?

infinite monkey · 08-12-2011, 09:50 AM

I think it's invisible too. The crap that is. Probably detectable with luminol. Don't you have luminol you can use to test the theory, Sarge. Oh yeah, the invisibility part will be difficult.

grynch · 08-12-2011, 09:52 AM

if an invisible man takes a crap in the forest and no one is around...............

ahh..........nevermind.

infinite monkey · 08-12-2011, 10:13 AM

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

grynch · 08-12-2011, 10:18 AM

*L*... last lines are always the best.

Big Sarge · 08-12-2011, 12:40 PM

Thuis has been a major topic here at work. No joke. LOL. What do ya'll talk about at work??

morethanpretty · 08-12-2011, 12:57 PM

I hink you might need to examine why said person is invisible. If it's due to their skin causing a light emitting organs on the skin, than technically the invisibility will only be skin deep, so any waste would not have the benefit of these organs. In that case it would be a simple matter of looking in a mirror to make sure you're clean. If the invisibility is something system wide where all of your organs/bones/ect are literally see through, then that's a tougher question. We still need to know the mechanism thy causes one to be invisible and if foreign matter in the body is also rendered invisible.

Gravdigr · 08-12-2011, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

Also how can you tell if you got your ass clean?

Invisible poo, I don't know from. However...

Back in the days before toilet paper, people used to use corn cobs. Now, everyone knows there are white corn cobs, and there are corn cobs that are brown. Why, you might ask. Well, you'd use the brown ones til you thought you were done. Then you'd use a white one to see if you needed to use another brown one.

Hope this helps.

BTW, you firey/policey types need something to do over there. Have one of the firemen start a fire. Then you can arrest him for it. Gives ya both sumpin to do.

Undertoad · 08-12-2011, 01:07 PM

We think about invisibility a lot because our brains want us to have that ability. It will be a very difficult thing to actually bring off. You really have to be an octopus to pull it off well.

Gravdigr · 08-12-2011, 01:35 PM

Or a cuttlefish.

Sundae · 08-12-2011, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

Thuis has been a major topic here at work. No joke. LOL. What do ya'll talk about at work??

I posted a major concern of mine back when I started here - if you live somewhere with an outside door used by more than one person, if they let a vampire in, will it have access to your flat/ apartment?

Wolf assured me I would be safe behind my own front door.
I think she might even have cited the Dresden Files as an example, because I started reading them after her recommendation.

When I worked in a call centre and our servers were down there was very little we could do. We were an internal help desk and pretty much paper-free. We devised very complicated games, written challenges and poetry (well, verse) competitions. I lived for those days. I can rhyme and write doggerel and rude limericks. But one of my colleagues would occasionally write blank verse which was almost a work of art. I wish I'd kept some. George refused to write any, being Scottish born and South African raised and a proper gruff man. But then he manned the phones for us flaneurs.

My take on the Important Question?
Don't have a shit when you're invisible, and take a packet of moist wipes just in case.
And never ask anyone to rim you unless you're sure.

Big Sarge · 08-12-2011, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae

My take on the Important Question?
Don't have a shit when you're invisible, and take a packet of moist wipes just in case.
And never ask anyone to rim you unless you're sure.

Quite sage advice, but where would the invisible person keep moist wipes?

Undertoad · 08-12-2011, 03:46 PM

If I were the invisible man, I would always carry that mummy wrapping around in case I had to outline where my body was. So if you have that mummy wrapping, you can just rip off a piece of it and wet it down in the sink.

I would have an invisible man fanny pack full of important invisible man gear. Extra sunglasses...

It's not gay to have a fanny pack, because goddamn it I am the invisible man. People know I have needs.

OK I have a theory. If the invisible man is to be invisible everywhere, he must have some sort of enzyme which causes him to be invisible. And that enzyme would get on the food he eats.

Invisible PERSON dammit this is 2011

OK invisible person. You could see them eating if they had a steak, you could see the steak getting crushed, but soon it would be coated in invisible person saliva which contains the enzyme, and it would fade as soon as it got to the person's stomach.

So then, when they take a shit, the shit still has all this enzyme, you know? So it it's invisible, and it doesn't smell. Until it dries or meets up with water, which dilutes the enzyme and then it would be visible.

Which is really good for the invisible person, you know, because if you wear mummy wrapping you might have an issue with skid marks. The skid marks would be invisible for a while but you would just throw away the mummy wrap and put on new wrap.

08-12-2011, 09:38 AM	#1
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Important Question We're in a heated discussion between our police department and fire department. This has been raging for several days and I need to get some outside opinions. Anyway, if you are invisible and take a dump does the crap remain invisible once it has left your body? Also how can you tell if you got your ass clean? __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

08-12-2011, 12:40 PM	#8
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Thuis has been a major topic here at work. No joke. LOL. What do ya'll talk about at work?? __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

08-12-2011, 12:57 PM	#9
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I hink you might need to examine why said person is invisible. If it's due to their skin causing a light emitting organs on the skin, than technically the invisibility will only be skin deep, so any waste would not have the benefit of these organs. In that case it would be a simple matter of looking in a mirror to make sure you're clean. If the invisibility is something system wide where all of your organs/bones/ect are literally see through, then that's a tougher question. We still need to know the mechanism thy causes one to be invisible and if foreign matter in the body is also rendered invisible. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

08-12-2011, 01:35 PM	#12
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Or a cuttlefish. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-12-2011, 09:42 AM	#2
grynch the big Cheese Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Switzerland Posts: 390	I heard this one the news this morning... http://news.sky.com/home/article/16046880 but as it's a cloak once outside of the cloak... you smelt it you dealt it. as for real invisibility.. you'd have to ask the Invisible Girl.. and if you find her do let me know.... I've got something I'd like to show her.

08-12-2011, 09:45 AM	#3
grynch the big Cheese Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Switzerland Posts: 390	...meantime... can I have some of whatever the doc's been slippin' you?

08-12-2011, 09:50 AM	#4
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I think it's invisible too. The crap that is. Probably detectable with luminol. Don't you have luminol you can use to test the theory, Sarge. Oh yeah, the invisibility part will be difficult.

08-12-2011, 09:52 AM	#5
grynch the big Cheese Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Switzerland Posts: 390	if an invisible man takes a crap in the forest and no one is around............... ahh..........nevermind.

08-12-2011, 10:13 AM	#6
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

08-12-2011, 10:18 AM	#7
grynch the big Cheese Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Switzerland Posts: 390	L... last lines are always the best.

08-12-2011, 01:07 PM	#11
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	We think about invisibility a lot because our brains want us to have that ability. It will be a very difficult thing to actually bring off. You really have to be an octopus to pull it off well.

08-12-2011, 03:46 PM	#15
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	If I were the invisible man, I would always carry that mummy wrapping around in case I had to outline where my body was. So if you have that mummy wrapping, you can just rip off a piece of it and wet it down in the sink. I would have an invisible man fanny pack full of important invisible man gear. Extra sunglasses... It's not gay to have a fanny pack, because goddamn it I am the invisible man. People know I have needs. OK I have a theory. If the invisible man is to be invisible everywhere, he must have some sort of enzyme which causes him to be invisible. And that enzyme would get on the food he eats. Invisible PERSON dammit this is 2011 OK invisible person. You could see them eating if they had a steak, you could see the steak getting crushed, but soon it would be coated in invisible person saliva which contains the enzyme, and it would fade as soon as it got to the person's stomach. So then, when they take a shit, the shit still has all this enzyme, you know? So it it's invisible, and it doesn't smell. Until it dries or meets up with water, which dilutes the enzyme and then it would be visible. Which is really good for the invisible person, you know, because if you wear mummy wrapping you might have an issue with skid marks. The skid marks would be invisible for a while but you would just throw away the mummy wrap and put on new wrap.

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