08/07/02: Bitch.

juju · 08-07-2002, 01:20 PM

There are certain groups of people, mostly guys, who enjoy insulting each other for sport. Calling each other bitch, gay, or just giving each other a hard time. It's like a form of joking around, and if you're around a group that does this you'll find yourself called all kinds of names and made fun of, all in the name of good fun. I guess you could call it trash talking. The guys where I work do this a lot, and it's pretty fun. I do it all the time, too, and it makes the day go by faster.

But there are some guys who don't realize that some people just don't like this form of jest. They talk to women the same way they talk to guys. This is amazing to me -- they actually think that they can insult the waitresses and not have them get really pissed off and take them seriously. It's not just between men and women, though. Some guys don't get it, either. You have to have been a member of a social group that does it in order to get it. When I first started working there, I thought everyone hated me. It took me months to understand.

I think that this is a huge factor in social chasms between people. A lot of people just don't realize when to insult someone and when not to.

I also think this could be related to my earlier thread about parents insulting their kids. Some people learn to communicate in a certain way around their friends. But they don't make that social distinction between their friends and everyone else, and they just talk the same way to everybody. They call their friends stupid in jest, so why not do it to their wife and kids, too? Believe it or not, I think this seems very logical in their minds. One mind, one form of communication.

I just want to shake these people, and say, "You moron! Do not insult women, they do not get it."

perth · 08-07-2002, 01:40 PM

i cant imagine saying some of the things said in my group of friends to anyone else on the planet, and would probably deny it if someone asked me. that being said, maybe you would consider sharing some of the more... creative... insults youve heard. i can always use more material, even if it is stolen. :)

~james

08-07-2002, 01:47 PM

I do this all the time with friends. "slut" "hussie" "ho"...

some of the more creative ones? "Ass pumping anal spelunker" is probably my most commonly used one. I just like saying it. :)

MaggieL · 08-07-2002, 03:34 PM

To a certain extent joking abuse is used among folks who know each other really well to ironically emphasize how close they are. It's especially common in all-male working groups. I used to hear this kind of talk all the time at work, before my transition.

But one fellow used to do it incessantly...and all of it of about the tenor of dhamsic's latest "Ass pumping anal spelunker". It was like reading "The Dilber Hole" every day for hours on end. It used to get wearying and distatsteful after a while, especially since the themes of it led me to conclude the guy was simply a classic, raging homophobe.

My revenge on him was my gender transition. Even though he'd left the department he was still with the company...and had to work with me occasionally. He was one of the very few people who really couldn't deal with it, and the *only* one that I took copious delight in how uptight working with me made him. :-)

08-07-2002, 03:50 PM

Ah, but see, I am not a raging homophobe. I just play one on TV.

Xugumad · 08-07-2002, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
Ah, but see, I am not a raging homophobe. [...]

The way the original poster described those individuals, neither were they. Blatantly ignorant insensitivity is what this may be all about, homophobia being a societal undercurrent that is getting lost amidst pseudo-PC brouhaha.

Besides, we've been here before, dhamsaic. :-)

What some people think is perfectly acceptable and good jovial fun may often sting and hurt others. But then, lack of consideration and the cult of egomania and personality is the new religion, anyway.

X.

MaggieL · 08-07-2002, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Xugumad

The way the original poster described those individuals, neither were they.

And in fact most of the guys that indulged in this stuff weren't either, for the most part. Of course, they were acting as enablers, too...and it's the implicit cultural assumption that queers are a despised class that is the fuel that makes this engine go.

How gay is that?

08-07-2002, 06:43 PM

For the love of Christ...

I only joke that way with my friends. Sycamore and I do it. We have an understanding that we're just joking around.

I don't hate black people either. But I call some people "nigga".

I don't hate white people. But I call some people "cracka".

Big fuckin' deal. The easily offended can eat my poop.

08-07-2002, 06:44 PM

Besides, when the fuck in this thread did I say "ass pumping anal spelunker" meant "homosexual ass pumping anal spelunker"?

elSicomoro · 08-07-2002, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
I only joke that way with my friends. Sycamore and I do it. We have an understanding that we're just joking around.

Word up...D is my muthaphuckin nigga down in DC yo!!!

"I'm a nigga with cash, a nigga with a lawyer. Not a watermelon, chicken-eatin' nigga down south, but a nigga that'll smack the taste out ya mouth!"--Ice-T

I'd like to think of myself as an Equal Opportunity Offender. I like to piss off everyone. In our hyper-PC world, one innocent word could piss off billions of people. You can't please all the people all the time. ;)

Seriously though, I admittedly use slurs when hanging out with close friends...people that know where I'm coming from and people that I know won't flip out over it. I'll use "nigger" around Rho (who is black), "faggot" around my friend Bill (who is gay), and I'll use both with someone like Dave (who is neither). I wish that someone could come up with a great derogatory word for white folks, b/c I know I'd use that one the most. That's my new project!!! "Cracker" is weak.

(I also use them in certain situations for adding "effect," e.g. Rho's "Good Nigger Card." Use of the words in some situations seems to be well-tolerated.)

Could I eliminate such words from my vocabulary? Sure. But as I see it, those words are part of the deep end of my vernacular. When I use them, I only use them with certain people or in certain situations where they are highly unlikely to offend. I try to use good common sense when using such words, and I don't see a problem in using them in the manner that I do.

Now then, I hope this thread doesn't get retarded. :)

MaggieL · 08-07-2002, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
Besides, when the fuck in this thread did I say "ass pumping anal spelunker" meant "homosexual ass pumping anal spelunker"?

Nowhere. And "cocksucker" doesn't explicitly say "*male* cocksucker" either. It dosen't have to; the context makes it clear.

But since your epithet really does mean "*heterosexual* ass-pumping anal spelunker"...or even "ass-pumping anal spelunker with no implication of sexual orientation", I'm sure no one could be possibly be offended. Right? *cough*

Of course, the most powerfully-driven homophobes are the ones with connected unresolved issues about their own sexuality, and my personal suspicion is that this is exactly what was up with the fellow I was talking about (*not* dham). His focus on the issue was so constant that it went way beyond "just joking around among friends".

08-07-2002, 11:43 PM

Ah. Well. Again, therein lies the difference. I also like to sometimes whip out the not-so-elegant "insults", such as "big vagina head" :)

juju · 08-07-2002, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by perth
i cant imagine saying some of the things said in my group of friends to anyone else on the planet, and would probably deny it if someone asked me. that being said, maybe you would consider sharing some of the more... creative... insults youve heard. i can always use more material, even if it is stolen. :)

Well, we're not allowed to get too bad, so I don't really have any good zingers. :) The kitchen isn't closed off from the dining area, so any insults run the risk of being heard by customers.

Still, I didn't really mean racial slurs or homosexual slurs specifically. It can be simple things, too. Like this one high school kid I work with. He asked one of the waitresses last night why her shoes looked like shit. They were pretty dirty, as they're prone to get when you work in a restaurant. He was just giving her a hard time about it, but she really got offended. He never even noticed the effect he had on her, even though she gave him an indignant tirade response. He just went off to give the next person a hard time.

People need to realize that some people will take them seriously. It's not a matter of the other person being stuck up or "too PC". They just don't get that you're joking, and then they think you're an asshole. I classify it as failed communication. :)

juju · 08-08-2002, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaggieL
But one fellow used to do it incessantly...and all of it of about the tenor of dhamsic's latest "Ass pumping anal spelunker". It was like reading "The Dilber Hole" every day for hours on end. It used to get wearying and distatsteful after a while, especially since the themes of it led me to conclude the guy was simply a classic, raging homophobe.

My revenge on him was my gender transition. Even though he'd left the department he was still with the company...and had to work with me occasionally. He was one of the very few people who really couldn't deal with it, and the *only* one that I took copious delight in how uptight working with me made him. :-)

There's this one guy I work with who's seriously homophobe. The fun part is, he simply can not handle it when I hit on him, even though he knows i'm only joking. It's great, because if I ever get tired of him, I just make my advances, and he freaks out and flees the area. It freaks him out so much that he can't even handle pretending. Ohh, what fun I have with him. :)

Tobiasly · 08-08-2002, 12:11 AM

It's always kinda funny when a bunch of guys are sitting around telling jokes.. usually it starts off with crude sexual jokes or whatnot, but no one seems to be sure whether they can tell that first racist joke. But then once the dam breaks, everyone has theirs to tell.

Then it ends with, "You know, I'm not really racist, I just think the jokes are funny." But for some reason people never feel the need to clarify that they're "not really sexist" after a slew of blonde/chick jokes.

08-07-2002, 01:20 PM	#1
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	08/07/02: Bitch. There are certain groups of people, mostly guys, who enjoy insulting each other for sport. Calling each other bitch, gay, or just giving each other a hard time. It's like a form of joking around, and if you're around a group that does this you'll find yourself called all kinds of names and made fun of, all in the name of good fun. I guess you could call it trash talking. The guys where I work do this a lot, and it's pretty fun. I do it all the time, too, and it makes the day go by faster. But there are some guys who don't realize that some people just don't like this form of jest. They talk to women the same way they talk to guys. This is amazing to me -- they actually think that they can insult the waitresses and not have them get really pissed off and take them seriously. It's not just between men and women, though. Some guys don't get it, either. You have to have been a member of a social group that does it in order to get it. When I first started working there, I thought everyone hated me. It took me months to understand. I think that this is a huge factor in social chasms between people. A lot of people just don't realize when to insult someone and when not to. I also think this could be related to my earlier thread about parents insulting their kids. Some people learn to communicate in a certain way around their friends. But they don't make that social distinction between their friends and everyone else, and they just talk the same way to everybody. They call their friends stupid in jest, so why not do it to their wife and kids, too? Believe it or not, I think this seems very logical in their minds. One mind, one form of communication. I just want to shake these people, and say, "You moron! Do not insult women, they do not get it." Last edited by juju; 08-07-2002 at 01:25 PM.

08-07-2002, 03:34 PM	#4
MaggieL in the Hour of Scampering Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia) Posts: 4,060	To a certain extent joking abuse is used among folks who know each other really well to ironically emphasize how close they are. It's especially common in all-male working groups. I used to hear this kind of talk all the time at work, before my transition. But one fellow used to do it incessantly...and all of it of about the tenor of dhamsic's latest "Ass pumping anal spelunker". It was like reading "The Dilber Hole" every day for hours on end. It used to get wearying and distatsteful after a while, especially since the themes of it led me to conclude the guy was simply a classic, raging homophobe. My revenge on him was my gender transition. Even though he'd left the department he was still with the company...and had to work with me occasionally. He was one of the very few people who really couldn't deal with it, and the only one that I took copious delight in how uptight working with me made him. :-) __________________ "Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..."

08-07-2002, 01:40 PM	#2
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	i cant imagine saying some of the things said in my group of friends to anyone else on the planet, and would probably deny it if someone asked me. that being said, maybe you would consider sharing some of the more... creative... insults youve heard. i can always use more material, even if it is stolen. :) ~james

08-07-2002, 01:47 PM	#3
dave Guest Posts: n/a	I do this all the time with friends. "slut" "hussie" "ho"... some of the more creative ones? "Ass pumping anal spelunker" is probably my most commonly used one. I just like saying it. :)

08-07-2002, 03:50 PM	#5
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Ah, but see, I am not a raging homophobe. I just play one on TV.

08-07-2002, 06:43 PM	#8
dave Guest Posts: n/a	For the love of Christ... I only joke that way with my friends. Sycamore and I do it. We have an understanding that we're just joking around. I don't hate black people either. But I call some people "nigga". I don't hate white people. But I call some people "cracka". Big fuckin' deal. The easily offended can eat my poop.

08-07-2002, 06:44 PM	#9
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Besides, when the fuck in this thread did I say "ass pumping anal spelunker" meant "homosexual ass pumping anal spelunker"?

08-07-2002, 11:43 PM	#12
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Ah. Well. Again, therein lies the difference. I also like to sometimes whip out the not-so-elegant "insults", such as "big vagina head" :)

08-08-2002, 12:11 AM	#15
Tobiasly hot Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Jeffersonville, IN (near Louisville) Posts: 892	It's always kinda funny when a bunch of guys are sitting around telling jokes.. usually it starts off with crude sexual jokes or whatnot, but no one seems to be sure whether they can tell that first racist joke. But then once the dam breaks, everyone has theirs to tell. Then it ends with, "You know, I'm not really racist, I just think the jokes are funny." But for some reason people never feel the need to clarify that they're "not really sexist" after a slew of blonde/chick jokes.

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