What if our dads were in charge of the bailouts?

[bluecuracao]

MonkeyBoy and I were noting the unfairness of the various, no-strings government bailouts, while over the past year or so, we have been generally unsuccessful in obtaining any "bailouts" of our own. But these are the times that build true character, of course. Or so dear old Dad likes to say...

So, you know that phone commercial, "What if deliverymen were in charge of schools?" Well, we were inspired to come up with our own scenario.


What if our dads were in charge of the corporate bailouts?

“I don’t want to give you that much money. You’ll just blow it on crap.”

“Tell me who you owe money to, and I’ll write checks to them.”

“Let me know when you’re ready to buy equipment/open a new branch/hire some people, and I’ll pay for part of it."

“I’ll give you the money, but I’m also sending you this excellent book on how to run a business. You have to promise me you’re going to read it first.”

“Instead of going to The Palm, go to the grocery store, to the prepared foods counter. You can feed four people for twelve dollars.”

“Instead of getting a caterer for your breakfast meeting, go to the deli and get the day-old bagels. They’re half-price."

I don’t have that kind of money just ready to give out. It’s all tied up in my retirement account."

“Why? Don’t you have a job?”

“No.”