Brit Political Humor... er, humour

xoxoxoBruce · 05-25-2008, 03:33 AM

The funniest of the funniest British political quotes of the last 50 years went to Boris Johnson, London's newly elected lord mayor. When asked by schoolchildren whether he would like to be Britain's prime minister, Johnson replied: "I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as being decapitated by a Frisbee or of finding Elvis."

John Prescott came finished in second place when he said: "The Green Belt is a Labor [Party] initiative and we intend to build on it."

Third place when to Harriet Harman for saying, "Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts - that goes for me as well."

Robin Cook took forth place when he uttered: "They found more dangerous chemicals in Coca-Cola's Dasani mineral water than they did in the whole of Iraq."

Former prime minister Harold Macmillan came in fifth place when he offered the following: "It has been said that there is no fool like an old fool, except a young fool. But the young fool has first to grow up to be an old fool to realise what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool."

Boris Johnson, yes, the same politician who won first place, also finished in sixth place with this bit of wisdom: "Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening."

Former prime minister Margaret Thatcher, affectionately known as "old iron bottom" ... or something like that ... finished in seventh place for saying: "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."

Finishing in eighth place was Michael Howard for telling the prime minister: "You are the deals-on-wheels Prime Minister - no wonder the Chancellor [of the Exchecquer] is not a happy eater!"

David Blunkett earned ninth place with this tongue-in-cheek response to a question : "David is supposed to be a sad, lonely, old, blind bastard. David's not meant to have fun or go to nice restaurants or - heaven forbid - have sex."

Edward Heath, made 10th place on the list with: "Do you know what Margaret Thatcher did in her first Budget? Introduced VAT (value added tax) on yachts! It somewhat ruined my retirement."

DanaC · 05-25-2008, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Boris Johnson

and

Quote:

London's newly elected lord mayor

A name and a phrase that I never, ever thought I'd see in the same sentence.

Well done London.....you've elected Coco the Clown to run our Capital city.

Sundae · 05-25-2008, 01:51 PM

No, no Dana!
Apparently youth crime is because we have failed the male youths in this country due to political correctness. So says the new Deputy Mayor. In the News of the World today. I will personally vote Boris in next term if he manages to prevent young men killing eachother in the capital. And after all, he is so anti-PC I can't see how it won't happen.

I'm partly serious btw. If he significantly reduces all crime and specificially youth killings I am willing to go against my political principles and vote for him. And I'll celebrate my vote by putting nets up in HM's garden to catch those flying pigs - we can have a bbq to celebrate.

The trouble with having a Mayor from the Opposition is that they have blamed the Govt for so much for so long they've left themselves without a one-legged black lesbian to stand on. Shame.

Sorry, bitter digression.
Back to the humour!
Errr, humor.

DanaC · 05-25-2008, 01:56 PM

The best bit of that campaign, was when they asked the Elder Johnson what made him think his son was competant enough to run London's finances and he said "Well, you know he was head boy at his school"

Don't that just say it all? Don't it though?

Trilby · 05-25-2008, 02:38 PM

I have no idea what they're saying but I love it!

I salute you!

skysidhe · 05-26-2008, 09:42 AM

I found some British humor. Wel it's labeled British but it could just as well be American too.

This one's probably more like it.

DanaC · 05-26-2008, 10:01 AM

That's pretty funny. I can recommend the second one on the first menu and 'British CSI' on the second set.

skysidhe · 05-26-2008, 10:17 AM

ok thanks!

monster · 05-30-2008, 07:23 PM

yeah that first one was not-so-much British. "Mom" is a hint, plus a few were a little Larson-eque, ao if they were British, it was imitation of American. ...but still funny

skysidhe · 05-31-2008, 04:26 PM

ok, see if this tickles your fancy.

Upper left right hand corner. I can't find a direct link.

American Oreo vs. British Biscuit. ( lots of humor )
http://abcnews.go.com/international

Sundae · 05-31-2008, 04:37 PM

Fun, but an odd story.
Haven't we had Oreos for years?
I guess they're making a big marketing push now and that's the difference.

They may catch on - especially with the gimmick of how you eat them - but they won't supplant British favourites.

The reporter had an odd accent! Brit who usually lives in the States maybe?

skysidhe · 05-31-2008, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

They may catch on - especially with the gimmick of how you eat them - but they won't supplant British favourites.

I think that's the whole idea. It IS very egotistical to for Oreo to imagine supplanting that tradition. Who dosn't love a buscuit dunked in coffee or tea?
I know I do...an Oreo has it's place and so does a hot drink and something to dip!

mmm *thinking* In the winter or fall I love gingersnaps dipped in black coffee. yum

@ about the accent? You would know best me thinks

DanaC · 05-31-2008, 06:01 PM

Oreos are ok. Not a patch on the Bourbon creams though.

Sundae · 05-31-2008, 06:07 PM

Rich Tea for dunking - HobNobs at push.
Jaffa Cakes for eating.
Pink wafers for sugar cravings because they are so moreish.

DanaC · 05-31-2008, 06:08 PM

Rich tea are good for dunking, especially in tea. Digestives though, they're my favourote dunker. Not so much for the hobnobs.

05-25-2008, 03:33 AM	#1
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Brit Political Humor... er, humour The funniest of the funniest British political quotes of the last 50 years went to Boris Johnson, London's newly elected lord mayor. When asked by schoolchildren whether he would like to be Britain's prime minister, Johnson replied: "I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as being decapitated by a Frisbee or of finding Elvis." John Prescott came finished in second place when he said: "The Green Belt is a Labor [Party] initiative and we intend to build on it." Third place when to Harriet Harman for saying, "Tony Banks described the English fans arrested in Marseilles as brain-dead louts - that goes for me as well." Robin Cook took forth place when he uttered: "They found more dangerous chemicals in Coca-Cola's Dasani mineral water than they did in the whole of Iraq." Former prime minister Harold Macmillan came in fifth place when he offered the following: "It has been said that there is no fool like an old fool, except a young fool. But the young fool has first to grow up to be an old fool to realise what a damn fool he was when he was a young fool." Boris Johnson, yes, the same politician who won first place, also finished in sixth place with this bit of wisdom: "Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening." Former prime minister Margaret Thatcher, affectionately known as "old iron bottom" ... or something like that ... finished in seventh place for saying: "I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." Finishing in eighth place was Michael Howard for telling the prime minister: "You are the deals-on-wheels Prime Minister - no wonder the Chancellor [of the Exchecquer] is not a happy eater!" David Blunkett earned ninth place with this tongue-in-cheek response to a question : "David is supposed to be a sad, lonely, old, blind bastard. David's not meant to have fun or go to nice restaurants or - heaven forbid - have sex." Edward Heath, made 10th place on the list with: "Do you know what Margaret Thatcher did in her first Budget? Introduced VAT (value added tax) on yachts! It somewhat ruined my retirement." __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-25-2008, 01:51 PM	#3
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	No, no Dana! Apparently youth crime is because we have failed the male youths in this country due to political correctness. So says the new Deputy Mayor. In the News of the World today. I will personally vote Boris in next term if he manages to prevent young men killing eachother in the capital. And after all, he is so anti-PC I can't see how it won't happen. I'm partly serious btw. If he significantly reduces all crime and specificially youth killings I am willing to go against my political principles and vote for him. And I'll celebrate my vote by putting nets up in HM's garden to catch those flying pigs - we can have a bbq to celebrate. The trouble with having a Mayor from the Opposition is that they have blamed the Govt for so much for so long they've left themselves without a one-legged black lesbian to stand on. Shame. Sorry, bitter digression. Back to the humour! Errr, humor. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-25-2008, 02:38 PM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I have no idea what they're saying but I love it! I salute you! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-26-2008, 09:42 AM	#6
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	I found some British humor. Wel it's labeled British but it could just as well be American too. This one's probably more like it. Last edited by skysidhe; 05-26-2008 at 09:47 AM.

05-30-2008, 07:23 PM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	yeah that first one was not-so-much British. "Mom" is a hint, plus a few were a little Larson-eque, ao if they were British, it was imitation of American. ...but still funny __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-25-2008, 01:56 PM	#4
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	The best bit of that campaign, was when they asked the Elder Johnson what made him think his son was competant enough to run London's finances and he said "Well, you know he was head boy at his school" Don't that just say it all? Don't it though?

05-26-2008, 10:01 AM	#7
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	That's pretty funny. I can recommend the second one on the first menu and 'British CSI' on the second set.

05-26-2008, 10:17 AM	#8
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	ok thanks!

05-31-2008, 04:26 PM	#10
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	ok, see if this tickles your fancy. Upper left right hand corner. I can't find a direct link. American Oreo vs. British Biscuit. ( lots of humor ) http://abcnews.go.com/international Last edited by skysidhe; 05-31-2008 at 04:35 PM.

05-31-2008, 04:37 PM	#11
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Fun, but an odd story. Haven't we had Oreos for years? I guess they're making a big marketing push now and that's the difference. They may catch on - especially with the gimmick of how you eat them - but they won't supplant British favourites. The reporter had an odd accent! Brit who usually lives in the States maybe? __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-31-2008, 06:01 PM	#13
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Oreos are ok. Not a patch on the Bourbon creams though.

05-31-2008, 06:07 PM	#14
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Rich Tea for dunking - HobNobs at push. Jaffa Cakes for eating. Pink wafers for sugar cravings because they are so moreish. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

05-31-2008, 06:08 PM	#15
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Rich tea are good for dunking, especially in tea. Digestives though, they're my favourote dunker. Not so much for the hobnobs.

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