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Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else |
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#1 |
I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I found the house I threw up in!
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 10-23-2007 at 12:29 AM. |
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#2 |
polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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A man is drinking in the pub with friends. They've made a bit of a night of it when one of them says, "Hey I know where there's a party tonight, let's go!"
So they all pile into a taxi and turn up at the party. This man has already had a skinful, and after downing some more cheap red wine he starts feeling queasy. He wanders around in a bit of a daze, trying not to show himself up. Eventually - and just in time - he finds a bathroom and throws up about £20 worth of alcohol. Relieved but slightly ashamed of himself he washes his hands and face and leaves. At the end of the road he sees a taxi firm he's used before and persuades a driver that he's well enough to be transported home. The next morning he realises he doesn't have his watch on. He must have left it at the party when he washed. Now this isn't an very expensive watch, but his Grandparents bought it for him when he graduated and he'd hate to lose it. He realises he has no idea where the party was, but at least he knows the taxi firm is based at the top of the road. So he calls them and they send a cab to pick him up. On the way he talks to the driver about what happened, saying, "I don't know which house it is, but I figure I'll just go door to door until I find someone who had a party last night. The only thing I remember about the house is that it was pretty swanky - they had a gold toilet!" So once he's been dropped off he starts knocking on doors, asking, "I know this sounds strange, but do you have a gold toilet?" He gets a few choice responses, but no-one seems to know anything about it. About halfway down the street he knocks on a door and it is opened by a young lady. "Hello," he says, "I was at a party last night and I think it might have been here. Can you tell me, do you have a gold toilet?" The woman looks at him, surprised, and then turns and shouts over her shoulder, "Dad! I've just met the twat who threw up in your tuba!"
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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#3 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,674
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SG, you oughta crosspost that to "Humor... I need Humor."
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Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course. |
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#4 |
“Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo”
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Posts: 21,393
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Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012! |
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