Curtain Rods!!!!

MsSparkie · 08-13-2006, 09:45 PM

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, andasked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods.

zippyt · 08-13-2006, 10:04 PM

Evil !!!

Brooke of the Land · 08-13-2006, 10:17 PM

Oh my my my.... that is so deliciously evil. I'm not a mean person, but if I was, I can only hope that I'd be as crafty as that.

footfootfoot · 08-14-2006, 10:47 PM

I know folks who've done things like that.

Like, who can't appreciate a "top decker"?

Meiso · 08-17-2006, 08:28 AM

I don't know whether this means you should never ever annoy a woman, or you should never ever buy anything hollow.

I also don't know which would be easier.

Sigh, sorry....

wolf · 08-17-2006, 10:34 PM

MsSparkie, you have:

1) A lot of anger issues regarding men and relationships.

2) The sort of friends that send you this kind of thing in your email and you think it's new and fresh.

Crimson Ghost · 08-17-2006, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I know folks who've done things like that.

Like, who can't appreciate a "top decker"?

Ever do that in a store, then sit outside and enjoy the comedy that ensues?

08-18-2006, 12:40 AM

The title of this thread makes me think of Twin Peaks.
Were they silent though?

MsSparkie · 08-18-2006, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crimson Ghost

Ever do that in a store, then sit outside and enjoy the comedy that ensues?

What IS a top decker? Is that an American thing?

wolf · 08-18-2006, 10:30 AM

I know because of the fine folks at urban dictionary, although it is possible to figure out from context.

Meiso · 08-18-2006, 02:47 PM

A quick visit to urban dictionary and i'm enlightened. Am I a complete wuss for never knowing what these things are \ never thinking about doing them?

xoxoxoBruce · 08-18-2006, 08:19 PM

Me too, Meiso. I knew that and had completely forgotted it.

DanaC · 08-18-2006, 08:56 PM

I have a friend, whose daughter's room began to smell really bad. It took them ages to figure it out. The little girl ( aged 5) had saved a prawn destined for a stirfry and put into a matchbox, because she thought it was cute.

Meiso · 08-20-2006, 05:26 PM

DanaC - The fact she found a stir fry prawn really cute, I find really cute.

I'm such a sop.

While I can't compete with things quite like this, last year I DID notice my room was smelling a bit musty... a few weeks past and the situation didn't get any better. One day, however, I was putting up some posters\photos etc on my wall. To do this, I trundled through a ladder and climbed up on it.

Now, you'll have to take my word on this, but there is an alcove in my bedroom which is virtually entirely obscured by a desk, computer and its surrounding walls. It was only when I gained the extra height to see over my computer etc that I did notice my wall had gone moldy. Very moldy. So moldy, in fact, it was a number of cms deep in places. I counted at least 4 specific types as I sat there scrubbing away...

A quick application of anti-condensation paint and everything is a-ok. Still, a fairly bad throat\cough\flemmy thing vanished and the number of headches I have dropped.

I'm sure there is a moral in there somewhere...

Sundae · 08-21-2006, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

I know because of the fine folks at urban dictionary, although it is possible to figure out from context.

I can't access Urban Dictionary

I Googled "top decker" and nothing promising came up on the first page (this thread was 9th!)

From context.... I assumed something to do with revenge, possibly involving food. But that doesn't fit in with doing it in a store?

A deck is a wooden platform, but hiding something rotten would be more likely to be underneath. A top can be something you wear - but if you sewed something into a top, you wouldn't wait outside for the pay-off.

I'm sure I'm missing something obvious. Someone please enlighten me so I can smack my head....

08-13-2006, 09:45 PM	#1
MsSparkie Curious Sagittarius Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 302	Curtain Rods!!!! She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, andasked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods. __________________ ~There is a forest in an acorn......

08-13-2006, 10:04 PM	#2
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Evil !!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

08-13-2006, 10:17 PM	#3
Brooke of the Land obsequious purple and clairvoiant Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: North Texas Posts: 45	Oh my my my.... that is so deliciously evil. I'm not a mean person, but if I was, I can only hope that I'd be as crafty as that. __________________ "...knowing only that we're vast and combustible, shifting, mostly hidden, probably messed up, but alive and mysterious while we last."

08-14-2006, 10:47 PM	#4
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I know folks who've done things like that. Like, who can't appreciate a "top decker"? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-17-2006, 08:28 AM	#5
Meiso Hairy Bear Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: England Posts: 29	I don't know whether this means you should never ever annoy a woman, or you should never ever buy anything hollow. I also don't know which would be easier. Sigh, sorry.... __________________ I want wings. Wings are supreme. And I'm a little bit (but only a little bit) sorry for what follows... http://www.exceed-network.com - lifetime webpages and targeted internet marketing for a one-off cost from just £10. Nifty, eh?

08-17-2006, 10:34 PM	#6
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	MsSparkie, you have: 1) A lot of anger issues regarding men and relationships. 2) The sort of friends that send you this kind of thing in your email and you think it's new and fresh. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-18-2006, 12:40 AM	#8
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	The title of this thread makes me think of Twin Peaks. Were they silent though?

08-18-2006, 10:30 AM	#10
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I know because of the fine folks at urban dictionary, although it is possible to figure out from context. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-18-2006, 02:47 PM	#11
Meiso Hairy Bear Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: England Posts: 29	A quick visit to urban dictionary and i'm enlightened. Am I a complete wuss for never knowing what these things are \ never thinking about doing them? __________________ I want wings. Wings are supreme. And I'm a little bit (but only a little bit) sorry for what follows... http://www.exceed-network.com - lifetime webpages and targeted internet marketing for a one-off cost from just £10. Nifty, eh?

08-18-2006, 08:19 PM	#12
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Me too, Meiso. I knew that and had completely forgotted it. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-18-2006, 08:56 PM	#13
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I have a friend, whose daughter's room began to smell really bad. It took them ages to figure it out. The little girl ( aged 5) had saved a prawn destined for a stirfry and put into a matchbox, because she thought it was cute.

08-20-2006, 05:26 PM	#14
Meiso Hairy Bear Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: England Posts: 29	DanaC - The fact she found a stir fry prawn really cute, I find really cute. I'm such a sop. While I can't compete with things quite like this, last year I DID notice my room was smelling a bit musty... a few weeks past and the situation didn't get any better. One day, however, I was putting up some posters\photos etc on my wall. To do this, I trundled through a ladder and climbed up on it. Now, you'll have to take my word on this, but there is an alcove in my bedroom which is virtually entirely obscured by a desk, computer and its surrounding walls. It was only when I gained the extra height to see over my computer etc that I did notice my wall had gone moldy. Very moldy. So moldy, in fact, it was a number of cms deep in places. I counted at least 4 specific types as I sat there scrubbing away... A quick application of anti-condensation paint and everything is a-ok. Still, a fairly bad throat\cough\flemmy thing vanished and the number of headches I have dropped. I'm sure there is a moral in there somewhere... __________________ I want wings. Wings are supreme. And I'm a little bit (but only a little bit) sorry for what follows... http://www.exceed-network.com - lifetime webpages and targeted internet marketing for a one-off cost from just £10. Nifty, eh?

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)