Babysitting

monster · 02-11-2011, 07:29 AM

Mother in UK cautioned for leaving toddler with 14yo

Obviously each toddler and each teenager is different, but what would never be ok and how much should the state intervene?

And should there be a different guideline for siblings as opposed to unrelated babysitter?

How old were you when you first babysat if ever? Did/Do you leave your kids with teenagers and if so, how old the teenager and how old their charges?

What about being home alone?

I've always taken 13 as "the age" , simply because that's "what it was" when I was young. When you turned 13 you could start babysitting for money. But I never did and I was never babysat by a 13yo as far as I can recall, and we never employ babysitters. But I will leave my 13yo home alone for brief periods in the day if she's happy to be left. Occasionally the 11yo too. Never the 9yo (and he probably still won't be OK to be left by the time he's 13) They are responsible for themselves, but I always make it clear that if there's an emergency, the 13yo is the one I expect to call me or 911 or go next door for help unless she is prevented from doing so by the emergency, then it becomes the 11yo's responsibility. I don't think I'd leave the 13yo in charge of a toddler, although she's very competant. She is a mother's helper for a toddler, but the mother stays nearby. And if she wanted to go out, I'd be nearby

glatt · 02-11-2011, 07:44 AM

We will leave our 11 y.o. and 9 y.o. home alone for short (no more than an hour or so) periods of time. They are both mature enough to handle it, and actually like it.

We lock the door behind us and tell them not to open the door for anyone until we get back. (They aren't locked inside, they can leave any time.)

14 years old is plenty old enough to be babysitting, assuming the kid is responsible. Our neighbor's kid used to babysit our kids for the evening. I think she was 12 or maybe 13 at the time. But the mom was right next door in case there was trouble.

DanaC · 02-11-2011, 07:46 AM

I was left with my bro as a kid, when I was 6 and he was 12.

I do think it's a little different with a toddler, but it's also highly dependant on the individual teenager. Some 13 year olds are very mature and responsible and can handle themselves and others well in a crisis. Some 18 year olds cannot fend for themselves.

Sundae · 02-11-2011, 07:54 AM

The caution is being slammed over here by the press and by everyone I've heard talking about it.

The caution will stay on her record and will appear on any future CRB, which will be an issue if she wants to either volunteer or work with children in future. So there are parents out there that effectively torture their children to death, or allow their partners to (Victoria Climbie, Baby P, Alex Sutherland etc) and not even social service intervention can save them. And yet what I consider to be quite a reasonable move by a parent finds them penalised for life. Something wrong here.

monster · 02-11-2011, 08:02 AM

I'd certainly be comfortable with my 13yo babysitting a slightly older child -kindergarten up- (assuming the child is not the spawn of Satan/Brittney...)...but preschoolers can be very unpredictable. I agree a caution is way way way over the top, especially given the consequenses.

Shawnee123 · 02-11-2011, 08:11 AM

I think I was about 14. I babysat my cousins, the youngest girl was two or three I guess. My uncle would pick me up and take me home (in his old VW Beetle!) Of course, I had a baby brother when I was 8 years old and I'd started working summers at the produce farm by 14.

In HS I babysat for my history teacher's kids. Yep, warped quite a few young minds in my day. They're all liberals now.

Not really.

Pete Zicato · 02-11-2011, 08:59 AM

That's nuts. In the US, someone 14 yrs old is a freshman in High School. A mature 14 yr old is certainly capable of watching a toddler for a bit.

toranokaze · 02-11-2011, 12:01 PM

I was 13 taking care of a newborn for no less than three hours at a time every day.
I don't see what the big deal is here.

Aliantha · 02-11-2011, 06:34 PM

We leave Max with his older brothers who are now 13 and 14 if Dazza and I want to go out for dinner or something. The girl across the road sometimes babysits if we've all got to go somewhere but can't take Max. She has just turned 15, but she's been watching him for short periods of time since he was about 6 months old.

Honestly, some teenagers have children of their own by the time they're 14 or 15 and in some cases they turn out to be great parents. Not always of course.

I think in some ways, kids are babied a bit too much these days and I personally believe that's a big part of the reason we have some much trouble with kids being so useless compared to previous generations. I know they're not useless, but you get the idea I'm sure.

02-11-2011, 07:29 AM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Babysitting Mother in UK cautioned for leaving toddler with 14yo Obviously each toddler and each teenager is different, but what would never be ok and how much should the state intervene? And should there be a different guideline for siblings as opposed to unrelated babysitter? How old were you when you first babysat if ever? Did/Do you leave your kids with teenagers and if so, how old the teenager and how old their charges? What about being home alone? I've always taken 13 as "the age" , simply because that's "what it was" when I was young. When you turned 13 you could start babysitting for money. But I never did and I was never babysat by a 13yo as far as I can recall, and we never employ babysitters. But I will leave my 13yo home alone for brief periods in the day if she's happy to be left. Occasionally the 11yo too. Never the 9yo (and he probably still won't be OK to be left by the time he's 13) They are responsible for themselves, but I always make it clear that if there's an emergency, the 13yo is the one I expect to call me or 911 or go next door for help unless she is prevented from doing so by the emergency, then it becomes the 11yo's responsibility. I don't think I'd leave the 13yo in charge of a toddler, although she's very competant. She is a mother's helper for a toddler, but the mother stays nearby. And if she wanted to go out, I'd be nearby __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-11-2011, 08:02 AM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I'd certainly be comfortable with my 13yo babysitting a slightly older child -kindergarten up- (assuming the child is not the spawn of Satan/Brittney...)...but preschoolers can be very unpredictable. I agree a caution is way way way over the top, especially given the consequenses. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-11-2011, 08:59 AM	#7
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	That's nuts. In the US, someone 14 yrs old is a freshman in High School. A mature 14 yr old is certainly capable of watching a toddler for a bit. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

02-11-2011, 12:01 PM	#8
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	I was 13 taking care of a newborn for no less than three hours at a time every day. I don't see what the big deal is here. __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

02-11-2011, 06:34 PM	#9
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	We leave Max with his older brothers who are now 13 and 14 if Dazza and I want to go out for dinner or something. The girl across the road sometimes babysits if we've all got to go somewhere but can't take Max. She has just turned 15, but she's been watching him for short periods of time since he was about 6 months old. Honestly, some teenagers have children of their own by the time they're 14 or 15 and in some cases they turn out to be great parents. Not always of course. I think in some ways, kids are babied a bit too much these days and I personally believe that's a big part of the reason we have some much trouble with kids being so useless compared to previous generations. I know they're not useless, but you get the idea I'm sure. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-11-2011, 07:44 AM	#2
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	We will leave our 11 y.o. and 9 y.o. home alone for short (no more than an hour or so) periods of time. They are both mature enough to handle it, and actually like it. We lock the door behind us and tell them not to open the door for anyone until we get back. (They aren't locked inside, they can leave any time.) 14 years old is plenty old enough to be babysitting, assuming the kid is responsible. Our neighbor's kid used to babysit our kids for the evening. I think she was 12 or maybe 13 at the time. But the mom was right next door in case there was trouble.

02-11-2011, 07:54 AM	#4
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	The caution is being slammed over here by the press and by everyone I've heard talking about it. The caution will stay on her record and will appear on any future CRB, which will be an issue if she wants to either volunteer or work with children in future. So there are parents out there that effectively torture their children to death, or allow their partners to (Victoria Climbie, Baby P, Alex Sutherland etc) and not even social service intervention can save them. And yet what I consider to be quite a reasonable move by a parent finds them penalised for life. Something wrong here.

02-11-2011, 08:11 AM	#6
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I think I was about 14. I babysat my cousins, the youngest girl was two or three I guess. My uncle would pick me up and take me home (in his old VW Beetle!) Of course, I had a baby brother when I was 8 years old and I'd started working summers at the produce farm by 14. In HS I babysat for my history teacher's kids. Yep, warped quite a few young minds in my day. They're all liberals now. Not really.

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