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Old 08-03-2011, 12:39 PM   #1
Undertoad
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A yogurt store near me got robbed

There's not a lot of crime in my area, except for bank robberies. This one is strange.

A single gunman robbed a yogurt store in the middle of a large retail complex that it's hard to get out of: only two exits, and one is usually backed up.

The police are often around because it's a new complex and there are a lot of traffic incidents.

The yogurt store was only open five minutes and therefore had little cash, the dude only got out with $305.

He used what they think is an MP5: a not-uncommon, but very serious submachine gun. He got away in an Audi TT which may have been modified. Who does a $300 robbery with a submachine gun? What yogurt thief has a $30k sports car?

Any other store in the complex would have had more money. There is a bank branch, a huge supermarket, a couple of big box stores.
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Old 08-03-2011, 02:18 PM   #2
infinite monkey
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He wasn't looking for money. He was looking for culture. Then he can behave cultivated and get into venues normally inhabited by the richies, where he'll make a real move on the money.

It's genius, really.
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Old 08-03-2011, 02:50 PM   #3
Sundae
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Snicker.

I was going for a beef against the owners, or one of the staff.
And yes, wording chosen re a dairy-based robbery.
It was deliberate, although not really amusing.
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Old 08-03-2011, 04:08 PM   #4
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His name is Michael Weston. He used to be a spy.
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Old 08-03-2011, 04:22 PM   #5
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post

He used what they think is an MP5: a not-uncommon, but very serious submachine gun. He got away in an Audi TT which may have been modified. Who does a $300 robbery with a submachine gun? What yogurt thief has a $30k sports car?
This is an Audi covert op to increase street cred, but being Audi they just miss by a hair.
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Old 08-03-2011, 04:58 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey View Post
His name is Michael Weston. He used to be a spy.
Hah!
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Old 08-03-2011, 05:05 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
...He used what they think is an MP5: a not-uncommon, but very serious submachine gun. He got away in an Audi TT which may have been modified. Who does a $300 robbery with a submachine gun? What yogurt thief has a $30k sports car?...
What thief robs a yogurt shop with a $10,000+ submachine gun?

Fixed it.

snip from hk94.com.
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Old 08-03-2011, 06:56 PM   #8
wolf
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My guess is toy gun, daddy's Audi, and his own stupidity.

Notice ... he left his only possible threat, an adult male, behind when he herded the young, female, and easily intimidated female employees into the back. And he didn't try to encourage cooperation by firing any rounds, basically said, "oh, ok" when told they couldnt' get into the safe.

This story is closer to home for me ... If you watch the video, you see a blur in the upper right corner ... a customer with his child?

I have not spoken to him directly about the incident, but had it described to me last night by one of his relatives.
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:05 PM   #9
Clodfobble
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey
His name is Michael Weston. He used to be a spy.
That's some funny shit right there, Monkey.

There was a very famous case locally in the early 90s called the "Yogurt Shop Murders." Couple of guys walked into a TCBY and just gunned down 4 girls. People still talk about it.
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Old 08-03-2011, 08:37 PM   #10
tw
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So why did he not get a yogurt while he was there? It was free.
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Old 08-03-2011, 10:19 PM   #11
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The CIA is getting desperate! The gubermint has cut funding!!! Gas prices are steep!
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Old 08-03-2011, 11:55 PM   #12
jimhelm
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This reminds me of those golfer bandits. They would run into a convenience store and knock everything off the shelves with golf clubs and chase everyone out. Then they'd empty the registers. And they always wore izods and those hats with the pompom on top...

... and those long shorts...... Damn, what're they called again?
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Old 08-04-2011, 08:14 AM   #13
kerosene
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knickers?
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Old 08-04-2011, 08:19 AM   #14
jimhelm
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No, they were White Guys......
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Old 08-04-2011, 08:23 AM   #15
infinite monkey
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Quote:
... and those long shorts...... Damn, what're they called again?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimhelm View Post
No, they were White Guys......
Culottes?

Bermudas?

Wannabes?

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