Stoopid employee stories

elSicomoro · 08-26-2003, 09:18 AM

Every job has at least one moron...or at the very least, has one character that's not very bright. And everyone has at least one story about them. Post away...

I'm sitting here at work on the computer, and this person I talk with regularly comes by.

"Man, I am about to cry."

Syc: "Why? What's wrong?"

"All I wanted to do is make a copy and none of the copiers over here are working."

There is a copier directly behind my desk. "What's wrong with this one?" I ask.

"There's no paper in it."

SteveDallas · 08-26-2003, 10:02 AM

Not somebody I work with, but...

Saturday, December 23, 2000. I've had a cough and stuff hanging around, but now I wake up with horrible pain in my right rib cage when I cough. Could I have cracked a rib from the coughing??? Surely not--still, medical attention is obviously indicated.. too bad it's a holiday weekend!

So I call my doctor's number and tell the answering service, "I need to talk to a doctor. Can you put me in touch with whoever's on call for Doctor A this weekend?" They give me a number for Dr. B and I call it.

"Hi," I say to the answering service. "I'm a patient of Dr. A. I'd like to speak to Dr. B."

"They'll be back in the office on Tuesday. You can call him then," was the reply.

"I need to talk to a doctor today," I said. "I was told that Dr. B was on call for Dr. A this weekend. Is that true?"

"Well, yes, he is."

"I was also under the impression that being on call meant that he is prepared to deal with patients who can't wait till after the holiday. Right?"

[long pause]

"Ummm... I could send him a page?"

Verrrry good, young lady, a gold star for you. Too bad I wasn't feeling up to an appropriately sarcastic reply at the time.

juju · 08-26-2003, 11:16 AM

What was your medical problem?

SteveDallas · 08-27-2003, 10:39 AM

Turned out I had pneumonia. The chest pain was due to inflamed cartilege around the ribs, and man, it hurt like hell. (My doctor said emergency rooms will see people with it once in a while because it hurts so bad, they think they're having a heart attack or something.)

elSicomoro · 08-27-2003, 07:39 PM

Back when I worked in Maryland, this one fucking moron opened the ILOVEYOU virus. Shut down our e-mail server for half a day.

Did I mention that the fucking moron was the CEO/co-owner of the company?

xoxoxoBruce · 08-27-2003, 07:51 PM

My Ex worked for Powell Electronics in Philly. Their CEO landed the twin engine company plane at Philly Airport and forgot to put the wheels down. It's good to be the king.

elSicomoro · 08-27-2003, 08:02 PM

When Rho was working in University City, the month before she was let go, they put up an internet firewall. You could only surf the 'net before 8:30, 12-1, and after 5. And even then, you couldn't access e-mail sites like Yahoo or job sites.

Why the firewall? Because quite a few folks were downloading porn--including one of the VPs.

headsplice · 08-29-2003, 11:09 AM

I used to be a manager at a laser tag areana. In the actual arena there were fog machines, blacklights, lasers, strobes, and lots of loud, bass-heavy music.
One of my less-than-agile-mentally subordinates decided that it would be extra cool to try and work an eight hour shift in the arena while on LSD.
After about 45 minutes of being in the back, he didn't come out with the other referee (there are generally always two, just in case) after a game.
I went looking for him, and he was standing in a corner of the arena, staring directly into one of the lasers.
He got sent home, but the boss wouldn't let me fire him.
After all, if the kid got fired for doing LSD on the job, the boss might get fired for being drunk on the job.

I'm so glad I don't work in retail anymore.

08-26-2003, 09:18 AM	#1
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Stoopid employee stories Every job has at least one moron...or at the very least, has one character that's not very bright. And everyone has at least one story about them. Post away... I'm sitting here at work on the computer, and this person I talk with regularly comes by. "Man, I am about to cry." Syc: "Why? What's wrong?" "All I wanted to do is make a copy and none of the copiers over here are working." There is a copier directly behind my desk. "What's wrong with this one?" I ask. "There's no paper in it."

08-27-2003, 07:51 PM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	My Ex worked for Powell Electronics in Philly. Their CEO landed the twin engine company plane at Philly Airport and forgot to put the wheels down. It's good to be the king. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-29-2003, 11:09 AM	#8
headsplice Relaxed Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 676	I used to be a manager at a laser tag areana. In the actual arena there were fog machines, blacklights, lasers, strobes, and lots of loud, bass-heavy music. One of my less-than-agile-mentally subordinates decided that it would be extra cool to try and work an eight hour shift in the arena while on LSD. After about 45 minutes of being in the back, he didn't come out with the other referee (there are generally always two, just in case) after a game. I went looking for him, and he was standing in a corner of the arena, staring directly into one of the lasers. He got sent home, but the boss wouldn't let me fire him. After all, if the kid got fired for doing LSD on the job, the boss might get fired for being drunk on the job. I'm so glad I don't work in retail anymore. __________________ Don't Panic

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08-26-2003, 10:02 AM	#2
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Not somebody I work with, but... Saturday, December 23, 2000. I've had a cough and stuff hanging around, but now I wake up with horrible pain in my right rib cage when I cough. Could I have cracked a rib from the coughing??? Surely not--still, medical attention is obviously indicated.. too bad it's a holiday weekend! So I call my doctor's number and tell the answering service, "I need to talk to a doctor. Can you put me in touch with whoever's on call for Doctor A this weekend?" They give me a number for Dr. B and I call it. "Hi," I say to the answering service. "I'm a patient of Dr. A. I'd like to speak to Dr. B." "They'll be back in the office on Tuesday. You can call him then," was the reply. "I need to talk to a doctor today," I said. "I was told that Dr. B was on call for Dr. A this weekend. Is that true?" "Well, yes, he is." "I was also under the impression that being on call meant that he is prepared to deal with patients who can't wait till after the holiday. Right?" [long pause] "Ummm... I could send him a page?" Verrrry good, young lady, a gold star for you. Too bad I wasn't feeling up to an appropriately sarcastic reply at the time.

08-26-2003, 11:16 AM	#3
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	What was your medical problem?

08-27-2003, 10:39 AM	#4
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Turned out I had pneumonia. The chest pain was due to inflamed cartilege around the ribs, and man, it hurt like hell. (My doctor said emergency rooms will see people with it once in a while because it hurts so bad, they think they're having a heart attack or something.)

08-27-2003, 07:39 PM	#5
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Back when I worked in Maryland, this one fucking moron opened the ILOVEYOU virus. Shut down our e-mail server for half a day. Did I mention that the fucking moron was the CEO/co-owner of the company?

08-27-2003, 08:02 PM	#7
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	When Rho was working in University City, the month before she was let go, they put up an internet firewall. You could only surf the 'net before 8:30, 12-1, and after 5. And even then, you couldn't access e-mail sites like Yahoo or job sites. Why the firewall? Because quite a few folks were downloading porn--including one of the VPs.

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