tell me what you think about this

staceyv · 12-03-2003, 11:03 AM

the girl i work with - the same one who ruined my wedding reception that i wrote about in the thread "holding the grudge" well, she's pregnant. when she was 3 months pregnant she went to the doctor and he told her there was no chance of a miscarriage at that point. so, she said "i wish he hadn't told me that everything would be fine, because now i'm a little careless. i've been drinking coffee, i'll have a drink and i smoked some weed" - she said this in front of three people like there was nothing wrong with it! like she has nothing to be ashamed of! then, the day after thanksgiving, she was complaining because she had some captain morgan and coke, and another lady at the party said something to her husband about her drinking. so this girl is mad and thinks that woman should mind her business about her drinking. well she is 7 months pregnant now! what nerve she has. that woman should have asked her to leave the party. the people who overheard her talking about smoking weed should have bitched her out, but they just kept their mouths shut. i won't let her know how i feel because i'm not sure what i could say or how to say it. but is she crazy? did something change? is it now safe and socially acceptable to drink liquor, coffee and smoke weed while you are pregnant?

SteveDallas · 12-03-2003, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by staceyv
is it now safe and socially acceptable to drink liquor, coffee and smoke weed while you are pregnant?

I would say no, but I also probably wouldn't go up and give my two cents to some stranger. If it was somebody I knew, I'd personally say it, though I've got to think she's heard it all before.

And if I were the host I'd kick her out before I served her alcohol at my party. I don't need that.

wolf · 12-03-2003, 11:17 AM

No, it's not acceptable, but when it comes to levels of danger to the development of the protoplasm, the last trimester is lowest risk, the first trimester is highest.

So the likelihood is that the kid was already damaged, since the idea that one is pregnant tends not to sink in right away ... longer if the lady is what we call "irregular". Unless you're actively trying to get pregnant and testing early and often, a lot of women don't know they're expecting until well into the second month.

Griff · 12-03-2003, 11:30 AM

It makes my blood boil. Remind me to thank Pete for giving our kids a decent start at life. There is some tragic irony in someone boozin' while pregnant to take a little break from life when she could end up taking care of a damaged child for the rest of her days. FAS

jinx · 12-03-2003, 11:44 AM

So this woman having a rum and coke at a party in her 7th month means her babay will have FAS? I don't think so.
I don't personally think it's a great idea, but I really don't hink it's anything to freak out about either. Makes people feel all righteous about themselves though.
Will anyone say anything to her when she is induced with cytotek or pitocin, then pumped full of narcotics to give birth? I doubt it.

FileNotFound · 12-03-2003, 11:50 AM

Quote:

So this woman having a rum and coke at a party in her 7th month means her babay will have FAS? I don't think so.

Quote:

Possible FAS Symptoms:

Growth deficiencies: small body size and weight, slower than normal development and failure to catch up.
Skeletal deformities: deformed ribs and sternum; curved spine; hip dislocations; bent, fused, webbed, or missing fingers or toes; limited movement of joints; small head.
Facial abnormalities: small eye openings; skin webbing between eyes and base of nose; drooping eyelids; nearsightedness; failure of eyes to move in same direction; short upturned nose; sunken nasal bridge; flat or absent groove between nose and upper lip; thin upper lip; opening in roof of mouth; small jaw; low-set or poorly formed ears.
Organ deformities: heart defects; heart murmurs; genital malformations; kidney and urinary defects.
Central nervous system handicaps: small brain; faulty arrangement of brain cells and connective tissue; mental retardation -- usually mild to moderate but occasionally severe; learning disabilities; short attention span; irritability in infancy; hyperactivity in childhood; poor body, hand, and finger coordination.

So tell me which one of this is an 'acceptable' risk for having a drink during pregnancy?

Griff · 12-03-2003, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jinx
So this woman having a rum and coke at a party in her 7th month means her babay will have FAS? I don't think so.
I don't personally think it's a great idea, but I really don't hink it's anything to freak out about either. Makes people feel all righteous about themselves though.
Will anyone say anything to her when she is induced with cytotek or pitocin, then pumped full of narcotics to give birth? I doubt it.

Actually, Pete being self-righteous and giving a fuck about our unborn children, also had a natural drug free delivery. I'm not one to confront people but do you really think its likely that a pregnant woman who is drinking in public is having her first drink?

Beestie · 12-03-2003, 12:04 PM

Quote:

the people who overheard her talking about smoking weed should have bitched her out... i won't let her know how i feel because i'm not sure what i could say or how to say it.

Then there you have it.

Undertoad · 12-03-2003, 12:12 PM

Answer the question, FNF.

jinx · 12-03-2003, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Griff

Actually, Pete being self-righteous and giving a fuck about our unborn children, also had a natural drug free delivery. I'm not one to confront people but do you really think its likely that a pregnant woman who is drinking in public is having her first drink?

At a party? I don't know what I would assume, I guess it would depend on the person, the type of party it was etc... I can't assume from the story as written though that the woman is an alcoholic or binge drinker..... only that she had a drink at a party, so again, it's not something I would freak out about.
It actually sounds to me like the original poster is still pissed about this woman not dropping what she was doing, and organizing a wedding party for her with an hour notice - and she's throwing her under the bus because of it.

FileNotFound · 12-03-2003, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Undertoad
Answer the question, FNF.

What question?

Griff · 12-03-2003, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jinx

It actually sounds to me like the original poster is still pissed about this woman not dropping what she was doing, and organizing a wedding party for her with an hour notice - and she's throwing her under the bus because of it.

Ya, the other thread sheds a little different light on this. For me, there really isn't an acceptable risk when it comes to the potential harm a drinker can do to the other person inside her. I've had moms tell me that they drank in moderation during their pregnancy and I've never called them on it. I haven't seen a study supporting a good number for us on acceptable blood alcohol levels. But I do know that FAS is one of the top three causes of mental retardation. The thing is we are only talking about nine months of restaint versus a lifetime of mental retardation, if a person can't choose between those two things, she shouldn't be a breeder.

jinx · 12-03-2003, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Griff

Ya, the other thread sheds a little different light on this. For me, there really isn't an acceptable risk when it comes to the potential harm a drinker can do to the other person inside her. I've had moms tell me that they drank in moderation during their pregnancy and I've never called them on it. I haven't seen a study supporting a good number for us on acceptable blood alcohol levels. But I do know that FAS is one of the top three causes of mental retardation. The thing is we are only talking about nine months of restaint versus a lifetime of mental retardation, if a person can't choose between those two things, she shouldn't be a breeder.

I don't disagree with you griff, but I also don't think it's my place to slap a drink out of a strangers hand without knowing the full story. Acceptable risk is subjective. I wouldn't drink while pregnant, but I do drive too fast with the kids in the car - so who the fuck am I, kwim? We all have our hot-button issues, and we all take risks that others wouldn't.

FileNotFound · 12-03-2003, 01:02 PM

Jinx, driving fast isn't 'bad' unless you're driving beyond your level of comfort (feel free to read www.motorists.org on speed limits etc)

It's certainly not anyone's place to stop a pregnant woman from drinking. You can tell them that they're irresponsible retards but it's not your place to do so.

The difference about driving fast and drinking while pregnant is that you're still in control of the car and you are keeping the risk fairly minimized (are my front tires gripping? What are the conditions like? How fast have I taken that turn at before etc). With alcohol on the other hand you have no idea what ammount is bad, how your baby is reacting to it etc. The difference is about knowing the 'acceptable' risk. Just how much alcohol is needed to cause FSA or when it is risky/not risky to take it isn't known. Which is what my first post was about.

I probably shouldn't even talk about driving fast....if there isn't a car in front of me, then I am speeding.

Also, a missed point is that the woman KNOWS that she shouldn't drink. She is weak willed and she admits to that. She admits that she 'wanted' the doctor to tell her that she mustn't drink etc because without him ordering she felt no power to stop herself from drinking/weed. She also know that her husband doesn't aprove. So you have a case of a woman who knows that she is possibly harming her future child but does it anyway.

Undertoad · 12-03-2003, 01:09 PM

So this woman having a rum and coke at a party in her 7th month means her baby will have FAS?

If I post the risks of long-term caffeine overdose does it mean you can't have a Mountain Dew?

12-03-2003, 11:03 AM	#1
staceyv Lecturer Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 927	tell me what you think about this the girl i work with - the same one who ruined my wedding reception that i wrote about in the thread "holding the grudge" well, she's pregnant. when she was 3 months pregnant she went to the doctor and he told her there was no chance of a miscarriage at that point. so, she said "i wish he hadn't told me that everything would be fine, because now i'm a little careless. i've been drinking coffee, i'll have a drink and i smoked some weed" - she said this in front of three people like there was nothing wrong with it! like she has nothing to be ashamed of! then, the day after thanksgiving, she was complaining because she had some captain morgan and coke, and another lady at the party said something to her husband about her drinking. so this girl is mad and thinks that woman should mind her business about her drinking. well she is 7 months pregnant now! what nerve she has. that woman should have asked her to leave the party. the people who overheard her talking about smoking weed should have bitched her out, but they just kept their mouths shut. i won't let her know how i feel because i'm not sure what i could say or how to say it. but is she crazy? did something change? is it now safe and socially acceptable to drink liquor, coffee and smoke weed while you are pregnant?

12-03-2003, 11:17 AM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	No, it's not acceptable, but when it comes to levels of danger to the development of the protoplasm, the last trimester is lowest risk, the first trimester is highest. So the likelihood is that the kid was already damaged, since the idea that one is pregnant tends not to sink in right away ... longer if the lady is what we call "irregular". Unless you're actively trying to get pregnant and testing early and often, a lot of women don't know they're expecting until well into the second month. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-03-2003, 11:30 AM	#4
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	It makes my blood boil. Remind me to thank Pete for giving our kids a decent start at life. There is some tragic irony in someone boozin' while pregnant to take a little break from life when she could end up taking care of a damaged child for the rest of her days. FAS __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-03-2003, 11:44 AM	#5
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	So this woman having a rum and coke at a party in her 7th month means her babay will have FAS? I don't think so. I don't personally think it's a great idea, but I really don't hink it's anything to freak out about either. Makes people feel all righteous about themselves though. Will anyone say anything to her when she is induced with cytotek or pitocin, then pumped full of narcotics to give birth? I doubt it. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

12-03-2003, 01:02 PM	#14
FileNotFound Intouch with his inner sheep rider. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 603	Jinx, driving fast isn't 'bad' unless you're driving beyond your level of comfort (feel free to read www.motorists.org on speed limits etc) It's certainly not anyone's place to stop a pregnant woman from drinking. You can tell them that they're irresponsible retards but it's not your place to do so. The difference about driving fast and drinking while pregnant is that you're still in control of the car and you are keeping the risk fairly minimized (are my front tires gripping? What are the conditions like? How fast have I taken that turn at before etc). With alcohol on the other hand you have no idea what ammount is bad, how your baby is reacting to it etc. The difference is about knowing the 'acceptable' risk. Just how much alcohol is needed to cause FSA or when it is risky/not risky to take it isn't known. Which is what my first post was about. I probably shouldn't even talk about driving fast....if there isn't a car in front of me, then I am speeding. Also, a missed point is that the woman KNOWS that she shouldn't drink. She is weak willed and she admits to that. She admits that she 'wanted' the doctor to tell her that she mustn't drink etc because without him ordering she felt no power to stop herself from drinking/weed. She also know that her husband doesn't aprove. So you have a case of a woman who knows that she is possibly harming her future child but does it anyway. __________________ This is a rat. \|This is a hamster.\| This is a chipmunk.\| This is a Sheep Rider.

12-03-2003, 12:12 PM	#9
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Answer the question, FNF.

12-03-2003, 01:09 PM	#15
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	So this woman having a rum and coke at a party in her 7th month means her baby will have FAS? If I post the risks of long-term caffeine overdose does it mean you can't have a Mountain Dew?

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