PSA: Homeland security nonexistent

Undertoad · 04-07-2003, 10:23 AM

Imagine this:

- You check your daily mail and find an ITINERARY for a trip you did book: someone has stolen your credit card number and used it to buy plane tickets.

- You notice that it's a middle eastern name traveling to Philly, where the President is scheduled to be. You remember that credit card fraud is one of the terrorists' approaches. And we're under code "Orange".

- So you call US Airways, who tells you that an agent did ask about the name difference when the man checked in, but that he told them you were his parent so they let him board.

- So you call the Philly FBI. {UT's note: the incompetent FBI, remember?} They take no interest, say it's a case of credit fraud, which they don't handle, and refer you to the Secret Service.

- So you call the Secret Service. They take no interest, saying that it has to be fraud of over $50,000 for them to really care.

- So you call the Pennsylvania State Police terrorist tip line, and it's busy and you can't get through.

- So you call the Philadelphia International Airport police, but they say they only take tips from the police and not from the public.

- So you email the White House, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, the General Services Administration, and all the Philadelphia TV stations. Now you get two responses. The Pennsylvania homeland security office calls you to tell you they only work during regular business hours so they won't do anything until 9 AM Monday. The GSA emails you back to say it's not their problem.

- So you call the Philadelphia Police, who give you the number of a disconnected Philly FBI line and the Philly airport cops you've already tried.

- So you call US Airways back and cancel the return flight ticket, which you do at the last minute hoping to create confusion for the man at check-in. But later you learn it never does.

And that's what happens when you depend on the government to do some of the most important work it can do: it turns it all into a buck-passing, not-my-department, bureaucratic trash heap. I just figured you'd like to know.

http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/ne...003-68212.html

Elspode · 04-07-2003, 10:43 AM

I think you've misunderstood the purpose of the Homeland Security Department, UT. Their job is to issue groundless alerts and run endless commercials urging us to be prepared for an act of terrorism, not to actually try to prevent it.

All of this shit reminds me so much of the Civil Defense program of the 50's and 60's, it isn't funny. And it has just about as much value, to boot. Duck and cover, cover your windows with duct tape...it is all the same thing.

SteveDallas · 04-07-2003, 10:54 AM

I've flown 5 trips since 9/11/2001 (including two in October 2001) and to my mind nothing they've done has accomplished anything except to make travelers who aren't thinking too hard feel better. Example: I had a lead-lined x-ray proof box in my carryon baggage for my trip last weekend. To my surprise, they didn't open it up to see what was inside it. (Film, as it turns out.) Granted, with a capacity of 4 rolls of 35mm film, it's not that big, but if nothing else it could have had a small pocket knife, and I'm sure evildoers could pack it with something much nastier. Considering that 10 years ago I was once asked to allow them to search my bag because they were suspicious of the 8-pack of AA batteries, I really thought an xray-proof container would inspire them to do a hand search in the current climate.

jaguar · 04-07-2003, 04:41 PM

Seeems to ahve made air travel a little more paranoid around here, i go the hell grilled out of me last time i went though melbroune customs (I guess an 18y.o carrying 30 grand worth of equipment $10k foreign cash is a bit sus) and very through luggage searches in Melbourne and Singapore.

elSicomoro · 04-07-2003, 07:11 PM

I am not looking forward to going through BWI next Saturday. Fortunately, this is only a one-way flight for me...oh...shit...more scrutiny.

slang · 04-07-2003, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sycamore
...more scrutiny.

Not to worry Syc. Wear a tuban, you'll *sail* through security.

elSicomoro · 04-07-2003, 08:09 PM

That might help...maybe take a picture of Saddam with me too?

wolf · 04-07-2003, 09:19 PM

And the Osama tee shirt, don't forget that ...

You want to make a GOOD impression.

(You might want to leave the DuPont underwear at home, though.)

elSicomoro · 04-07-2003, 09:25 PM

You think carrying an Iraqi flag will help?

wolf · 04-07-2003, 10:23 PM

I don't think anybody will recognize it.

You might consider an "I went to Iraq as a human shield and all I got is this crummy tee-shirt" tee-shirt.

xoxoxoBruce · 04-14-2003, 08:52 PM

And it hasn't changed much, only cost and size.

04-07-2003, 10:23 AM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	PSA: Homeland security nonexistent Imagine this: - You check your daily mail and find an ITINERARY for a trip you did book: someone has stolen your credit card number and used it to buy plane tickets. - You notice that it's a middle eastern name traveling to Philly, where the President is scheduled to be. You remember that credit card fraud is one of the terrorists' approaches. And we're under code "Orange". - So you call US Airways, who tells you that an agent did ask about the name difference when the man checked in, but that he told them you were his parent so they let him board. - So you call the Philly FBI. {UT's note: the incompetent FBI, remember?} They take no interest, say it's a case of credit fraud, which they don't handle, and refer you to the Secret Service. - So you call the Secret Service. They take no interest, saying that it has to be fraud of over $50,000 for them to really care. - So you call the Pennsylvania State Police terrorist tip line, and it's busy and you can't get through. - So you call the Philadelphia International Airport police, but they say they only take tips from the police and not from the public. - So you email the White House, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, the General Services Administration, and all the Philadelphia TV stations. Now you get two responses. The Pennsylvania homeland security office calls you to tell you they only work during regular business hours so they won't do anything until 9 AM Monday. The GSA emails you back to say it's not their problem. - So you call the Philadelphia Police, who give you the number of a disconnected Philly FBI line and the Philly airport cops you've already tried. - So you call US Airways back and cancel the return flight ticket, which you do at the last minute hoping to create confusion for the man at check-in. But later you learn it never does. And that's what happens when you depend on the government to do some of the most important work it can do: it turns it all into a buck-passing, not-my-department, bureaucratic trash heap. I just figured you'd like to know. http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/ne...003-68212.html

04-07-2003, 10:43 AM	#2
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I think you've misunderstood the purpose of the Homeland Security Department, UT. Their job is to issue groundless alerts and run endless commercials urging us to be prepared for an act of terrorism, not to actually try to prevent it. All of this shit reminds me so much of the Civil Defense program of the 50's and 60's, it isn't funny. And it has just about as much value, to boot. Duck and cover, cover your windows with duct tape...it is all the same thing. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-07-2003, 04:41 PM	#4
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	Seeems to ahve made air travel a little more paranoid around here, i go the hell grilled out of me last time i went though melbroune customs (I guess an 18y.o carrying 30 grand worth of equipment $10k foreign cash is a bit sus) and very through luggage searches in Melbourne and Singapore. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

04-07-2003, 09:19 PM	#8
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	And the Osama tee shirt, don't forget that ... You want to make a GOOD impression. (You might want to leave the DuPont underwear at home, though.) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

04-07-2003, 10:23 PM	#10
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I don't think anybody will recognize it. You might consider an "I went to Iraq as a human shield and all I got is this crummy tee-shirt" tee-shirt. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

04-07-2003, 10:54 AM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I've flown 5 trips since 9/11/2001 (including two in October 2001) and to my mind nothing they've done has accomplished anything except to make travelers who aren't thinking too hard feel better. Example: I had a lead-lined x-ray proof box in my carryon baggage for my trip last weekend. To my surprise, they didn't open it up to see what was inside it. (Film, as it turns out.) Granted, with a capacity of 4 rolls of 35mm film, it's not that big, but if nothing else it could have had a small pocket knife, and I'm sure evildoers could pack it with something much nastier. Considering that 10 years ago I was once asked to allow them to search my bag because they were suspicious of the 8-pack of AA batteries, I really thought an xray-proof container would inspire them to do a hand search in the current climate.

04-07-2003, 07:11 PM	#5
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I am not looking forward to going through BWI next Saturday. Fortunately, this is only a one-way flight for me...oh...shit...more scrutiny.

04-07-2003, 08:09 PM	#7
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	That might help...maybe take a picture of Saddam with me too?

04-07-2003, 09:25 PM	#9
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	You think carrying an Iraqi flag will help?

04-14-2003, 08:52 PM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	And it hasn't changed much, only cost and size. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 04-07-2007 at 06:09 PM.

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