February Free-For-All on the Freeways (and Steering-Wheel Snooker)

[monster]

Well actually more the surface streets. but I like to lie for a little alliteration.


So anyhoo, now the ice on the roads has melted, this week I have been noticing a new post-winter road phenomenon caused by extreme snowplow use. No, not the potholes -although they are particularly spectacular this year- this one is the imagine-your-own road markings game. All lane markings and stop lines are gone -scraped off by the metal monsters- and with them, apparently, not only the Ann Arborites' memories that there ever were markings, but also their ability to drive in a straight line.

Roads that use to be three lanes in each direction with a central suicide lane are now a single, forty-foot wide suicide lane in which your mission is to prevent anyone from passing you -in either direction. As far as I can tell, you must get bonus points for forcing other cars into potholes -the bigger the hole the more points you get. Also the lack of stoplines apparently renders all traffic lights obsolete. Survival of the fittest prevails, triple bonus points if you "pothole" another driver in the middle of the intersection. It's bumper billiards.

...ooh that gives me an idea.... I think I'm going to start my own game of Steering-Wheel Snooker. For every red car I pothole, I score 1 point, but then I can pothole a color of my choice and score the associated points. (yellow=2, green=3, brown=4, blue=5, pink=6, black=7) When all reds are gone, then I must pothole the colors in order to score the points. Of course if I pothole the white, then there's a penalty. Points tbd at a later date. In court. Because that's a cop car.

There's an awful lot of red cars around (including mine) -I wonder what score i can achieve before they finally fix the roads? beest says in Speed-trap Snooker, cops reverse the pink and black because black cars are more common, but this is Ann Arbor, so I think I'll be fine -especially if I count all the floral cars as pink.

I could promote my game on craigslist ....maybe it even needs it own website. I could sell bumper sticker so you know other playas when you see them. Or golf-ball-type things to go on aerials? Maybe you get double points for potholing another playa if you are also displaying your sticker. Or maybe the sticker turns you into an honorary white car and render immunity..... perhaps I need to market "You've been snookered" stickers for the victims -although that would require slowing down.....

Anyone else in the Frozen North up for a challenge match? I think it will work...

[Shawnee123]

Well actually more the surface streets. but I like to lie for a little alliteration

Alliterative awesomeness.

You know, I'll come up and help. Ohio is stupider than MI.

[bluecuracao]

That's an awesome idea Monsta--can drivers drink pints while they play, too? That would make it even more interesting.

[monster]

Originally Posted by bluecuracao

That's an awesome idea Monsta--can drivers drink pints while they play, too? That would make it even more interesting.

It might. although I'm now thinking Olympic Sport.... do they test for alcohol in the pee test?

[bluecuracao]

No, I think you're okay on that.

If I'm wrong...they could always switch pee with the passengers.

[xoxoxoBruce]

All lane markings and stop lines are gone -scraped off by the metal monsters---

Now that's strange.

[monster]

That the snowplows scrape off the markings? Happens every year -they repaint every spring except those roads scheduled for construction. This year the plows seem to have been more effective than usual..... there's nothing left on most roads -the more major, the less paint.

...and what is there is hidden by the salt and grit residue. They used more grit and less salt this year -that might have helped wear the paint away too.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I've never seen commercial plows that scrape a smooth road. Most have little skids that keep the plow a fraction of an inch off the pavement unless there's a high spot... that's when you see the sparks.

It may very well be you have enough traffic to wear most of the paint off in a year, then it wouldn't take much dirt to hide the rest. They could also be using nasty chemical shit for the ice up there.

Anyway, the lines are gone so back to the game before they repaint the lines and fill the potholes.

[Clodfobble]

They may also be using stickers instead of actual paint. I've seen them putting lines on a couple of the newer roads here, and they were literally these peel-and-stick surface things. I bet it's cheaper that way.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Those damn things must be a plastic because they are slippery as hell when they're wet. Here they use them for the wide white line at stop signs and lights most often.

[TheMercenary]

Monsta, you should work on that story and send it to the local paper. It would be a hoot.

[monster]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

They may also be using stickers instead of actual paint. I've seen them putting lines on a couple of the newer roads here, and they were literally these peel-and-stick surface things. I bet it's cheaper that way.

Yeah, they use the stick on jobbies

[monster]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Monsta, you should work on that story and send it to the local paper. It would be a hoot.

Thanks Somehow I doubt they'd be keen to promote my irresponsibility

[capnhowdy]

But how is this irresonsib..... oh. OK.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by monster

Thanks Somehow I doubt they'd be keen to promote my irresponsibility

I think you should give it a go. The point is that the snowplows removed the lines and allowed this game to naturally develop. It is a great story to make a point.

But you know if you have enough points you have a line.