I lied to a cop today

Clodfobble · 04-19-2007, 07:26 PM

And I almost got caught.

I got pulled over doing 76 in a 65. First off, apparently APD has updated their fleet recently, because it was a completely unmarked cop car that looked like an extra-beefy silver sports car. Normally I'm really good at spotting speed traps. Also, not only was I speeding, but apparently I have a broken taillight. And meanwhile the baby's screaming in the back of the car because we've stopped driving but I haven't come to take him out. So the cop starts taking my license and registration, looks it over, and suddenly asks, "What kind of corrective lenses do you wear?"

Now, I had LASIK surgery in 1999, and every single time I've renewed my license since then I have tried to get that restriction taken off. I tell them I had the surgery, I take the eye test, they say great, I passed--and then when my license comes in the mail it still says I need corrective lenses. But I figured it doesn't really matter since no one cares about that anyway, right?

Except apparently this douchebag.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but for some reason instead of explaining that I just smoothly replied, "Oh, I'm wearing contacts."

"Take off your sunglasses, let me see them."

So I did.

"Huh. I don't see them."

"They're in there," I insisted, managing to smile, and even turning my head a bit to help him. He stared and stared, asking me whether they were hard or soft, disposable or not, until finally he said, "Okay, I think I saw it just then."

I was so terrified he was going to ask me to take one out. If I'd gotten caught lying I think I probably would have just started bawling right there.

TheMercenary · 04-19-2007, 07:31 PM

I guess the worst he could have done is given you a ticket and made you get a ride. Maybe you should carry a pair of glasses in your car.

footfootfoot · 04-19-2007, 08:00 PM

"I don't have them in! Fuck no wonder everything was all fuzzy and shit. Thank you officer, I thought I was going blind."

duck_duck · 04-19-2007, 08:06 PM

I sometimes wear contacts and can't see them when I look in the mirror. That's funny the police thought he could see them just by looking at you.

monster · 04-19-2007, 08:35 PM

Sounds like a dodgy pick-up line to me. "Oh, you have something on your eyelash..."

Did you get a ticket?

BrianR · 04-19-2007, 09:38 PM

If you look at an eye with a contact lens in from the side, the lens is visible. Also, if the lens has the handling tint, that will also show if you look close.

monster · 04-19-2007, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrianR

If you look at an eye with a contact lens in from the side, the lens is visible. Also, if the lens has the handling tint, that will also show if you look close.

Depends on the type of lens, the lighting, the state of the eye and a zillionn other things. Beest and I both wear contacts and have done for years, yet when one seems lost, we can't always tell whether it's there or not, even through we know each other's eyes pretty intimately.

Undertoad · 04-19-2007, 09:56 PM

So... the cop lied

Beestie · 04-19-2007, 09:58 PM

Good for you, CF. The cop sounds like a real prick to me asking to see your contacts. It would have been funny if you took your sunglasses off then pretended to take out a contact and acted like you dropped it and lost it.

Then you could have cussed him out.

SadistSecret · 04-19-2007, 10:04 PM

Or you could have driven away really fast while he was looking for your "contact".

seakdivers · 04-19-2007, 10:09 PM

That sounds weird. Why would he need to see if you had contacts in or not if the issue was speeding? I have been pulled over for a variety of reasons in the past and my license says that I wear contacts as well and I've never been asked to prove that I have them on.
Hmm....

wolf · 04-20-2007, 01:44 AM

What's wrong with saying, "I had Lasik?"

(up until that point I thought that you were going to say you got out of a speeding ticket either by using the popular "I really need to pee, Officer" Dodge, or perhaps, "Minifob is hungry and I need to breastfeed, but I'd prefer not to whip the boys out right here on the shoulder of I-95.")

wolf · 04-20-2007, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duck_duck

I sometimes wear contacts and can't see them when I look in the mirror. That's funny the police thought he could see them just by looking at you.

Actually, you can, because they extend beyond the edge of the iris (my contacts have no handling tint, but I can still see the line if I look closely enough).

Clodfobble · 04-20-2007, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

What's wrong with saying, "I had Lasik?"

I figured then I would also get a ticket for having an incorrect license, in addition to the speeding ticket and brake light issue (though in the end I only got a warning for the brake light, fortunately.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

(up until that point I thought that you were going to say you got out of a speeding ticket either by using the popular "I really need to pee, Officer" Dodge, or perhaps, "Minifob is hungry and I need to breastfeed, but I'd prefer not to whip the boys out right here on the shoulder of I-95.")

I might have used the latter, since he was screaming his head off by the time the cop got to my window, but he never even asked me why I was speeding. He just launched right in with "You were clocked going 76 in a 65 mile-per-hour speed zone, so you'll be receiving a citation today for that."

My husband pointed out when I got home that he actually wrote 75 in one spot and 76 in another, which affects the level of the fine. It doesn't matter since I'm going to take defensive driving, but I wonder if that's grounds for the ticket being completely invalid?

LabRat · 04-20-2007, 08:54 AM

OOOoooooh. Check with your insurance agent. He'll probably know.
Bastard cop.

04-19-2007, 07:26 PM	#1
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I lied to a cop today And I almost got caught. I got pulled over doing 76 in a 65. First off, apparently APD has updated their fleet recently, because it was a completely unmarked cop car that looked like an extra-beefy silver sports car. Normally I'm really good at spotting speed traps. Also, not only was I speeding, but apparently I have a broken taillight. And meanwhile the baby's screaming in the back of the car because we've stopped driving but I haven't come to take him out. So the cop starts taking my license and registration, looks it over, and suddenly asks, "What kind of corrective lenses do you wear?" Now, I had LASIK surgery in 1999, and every single time I've renewed my license since then I have tried to get that restriction taken off. I tell them I had the surgery, I take the eye test, they say great, I passed--and then when my license comes in the mail it still says I need corrective lenses. But I figured it doesn't really matter since no one cares about that anyway, right? Except apparently this douchebag. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but for some reason instead of explaining that I just smoothly replied, "Oh, I'm wearing contacts." "Take off your sunglasses, let me see them." So I did. "Huh. I don't see them." "They're in there," I insisted, managing to smile, and even turning my head a bit to help him. He stared and stared, asking me whether they were hard or soft, disposable or not, until finally he said, "Okay, I think I saw it just then." I was so terrified he was going to ask me to take one out. If I'd gotten caught lying I think I probably would have just started bawling right there.

04-19-2007, 07:31 PM	#2
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	I guess the worst he could have done is given you a ticket and made you get a ride. Maybe you should carry a pair of glasses in your car. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

04-19-2007, 08:00 PM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	"I don't have them in! Fuck no wonder everything was all fuzzy and shit. Thank you officer, I thought I was going blind." __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

04-19-2007, 08:35 PM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Sounds like a dodgy pick-up line to me. "Oh, you have something on your eyelash..." Did you get a ticket? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-19-2007, 09:38 PM	#6
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	If you look at an eye with a contact lens in from the side, the lens is visible. Also, if the lens has the handling tint, that will also show if you look close. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

04-19-2007, 08:06 PM	#4
duck_duck Soul Duck Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: over here Posts: 485	I sometimes wear contacts and can't see them when I look in the mirror. That's funny the police thought he could see them just by looking at you.

04-19-2007, 09:56 PM	#8
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	So... the cop lied

04-19-2007, 09:58 PM	#9
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Good for you, CF. The cop sounds like a real prick to me asking to see your contacts. It would have been funny if you took your sunglasses off then pretended to take out a contact and acted like you dropped it and lost it. Then you could have cussed him out. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

04-19-2007, 10:04 PM	#10
SadistSecret Even If you choose to love me, I will always choose to fall. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Des Moines. Posts: 139	Or you could have driven away really fast while he was looking for your "contact". __________________ "Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!!

04-19-2007, 10:09 PM	#11
seakdivers Icy Queen Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Southeast Alaska Posts: 700	That sounds weird. Why would he need to see if you had contacts in or not if the issue was speeding? I have been pulled over for a variety of reasons in the past and my license says that I wear contacts as well and I've never been asked to prove that I have them on. Hmm....

04-20-2007, 01:44 AM	#12
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	What's wrong with saying, "I had Lasik?" (up until that point I thought that you were going to say you got out of a speeding ticket either by using the popular "I really need to pee, Officer" Dodge, or perhaps, "Minifob is hungry and I need to breastfeed, but I'd prefer not to whip the boys out right here on the shoulder of I-95.") __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

04-20-2007, 08:54 AM	#15
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	OOOoooooh. Check with your insurance agent. He'll probably know. Bastard cop. __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

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