even the biggest and best screw up

breakingnews · 01-07-2005, 02:13 PM

For lack of better things to do this afternoon ('twas an extremely slow day in the corporate world, and all has but come to a halt on the AP's business desk here in NYC), I'll pass along some of these gems. They come from a more-than-occasional collection of funny stuff and terrible fuck-ups produced by AP staff worldwide. The final 2004 wrap-up was sent today. Some highlights:

Headlines -

Singapore police ban plans for Christmas party, saying it would be a gay event

Colleges are not sure how to stop binge drinking

Dollar rallies after falling to eight-month low against euro, before rallying

Gay marriage not good for children, opponents tell Calif. court

Russian election chief criticizes bill that would make it harder to register patties

DESTINY'S CHILD: GROUP GETS TOGETHER FOR A QUICKIE

Writethrus (story updates) -

Eds: LEADS with 3 grafs to CORRECT that Biscuit and Gravy were running mates, sted opponents

Eds: AMs. SUBS graf 18, One-third of, to CORRECT 'born-again' sted 'born-against'

They said it -

"There's been a very big smelly monkey on our back for four years," said U.S. Sen. Bob Graham, D-Fla. "I am tired of Florida being the laughingstock of America."

"Maybe I am a convicted felon but I am not a criminal," said Smitty, who has a criminal record involving illegal drugs.

YORK, Pa. (AP) _ A 15-year-old sophomore at Christian School of York has won the title of Miss Teen of America 2004-2005.
In addition to carrying the title for two years, Jayde Paup won a $5,000 scholarship and $2,500 in cash.
"I also won a trip to Australia, where I will be the guest at the Miss Wagga-Wagga competition," she said.

Funny names -

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) _ A man who once weighed more than half a ton has lost 321 pounds under the care of a team of doctors and hopes to lose 450 pounds more. Patrick Deuel, 42, of Valentine, Neb., weighed 1,072 pounds when he was admitted to Sioux Falls' Avera McKennan Hospital eight weeks ago. ...
A group known as the League of Human Dignity helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed.

LOS ANGELES (AP) _ Ruth Manning, a veteran character actress who gained recognition playing Aunt Harriet in Kraft Real Mayonnaise TV ads in the 1980s, has died. She was believed to be 84.
Manning died Nov. 19 of heart failure while auditioning for a television role, said her agent, Greg Mayo.

NEWARK, Ohio (AP) _ A former executive director of the Licking County Big Brothers and Big Sisters has pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a young boy.

And the plain ole ridiculous shit -

It would have been lovely had Charles lived to bask in the adoration of fans at the premiere of "Ray." Charles was able to view a cut of the film shortly before he died ...

CINCINNATI (AP) _ The projectiles are lighter than horseshoes and safer than lawn darts, but the idea's the same: Players try to hit a target several paces away.
The game is called cornhole, or corn toss, because players try to throw cloth bags filled with corn into a hole. It is an Ohio phenomenon that is catching on elsewhere around the Midwest and beyond.
"It's easy to play, you don't have to dig a pit, drive stakes or tear up your lawn," said Mike Whitton, founder and president of the American Cornhole Association.

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) _ Two women whose testimony in a child molestation case put a man behind bars for 20 years have recanted, with one saying her grandmother pressured them to finger the wrong man to protect a cousin.

BUFFALO, Wyo. (AP) _ Whenever Fern and Dale Johnson visited family here, they couldn't help feeling a bit envious. People were so friendly, and the pace of life in the rural community was much slower _ and more to their liking _ than back home in Nebraska.

BC-Martha Stewart-CEO,0666 (the numbers following a story slug is the total word count of the text)

FORT COLLINS, Colo. (AP) _ Organizers of a gelatin wrestling event at a bar say some proceeds will be donated to a foundation created in memory of a Colorado State University sophomore who died of alcohol poisoning.

MOSCOW (AP) _ Gazpromneftegaz chief confirms his company will bid in Yuganskneftegaz auction.

PHOTOS OF NOTE:
_ JAPAN HOT SPA MONKEYS

Happy Monkey · 01-07-2005, 03:17 PM

Quote:

"Maybe I am a convicted felon but I am not a criminal," said Smitty, who has a criminal record involving illegal drugs.

Well, (barring a pardon) once a convict always a convict, but you can stop being a criminal. Whether Smitty stopped or not is unknown, but it's possible.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-07-2005, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

Well, (barring a pardon) once a convict always a convict, but you can stop being a criminal. Whether Smitty stopped or not is unknown, but it's possible.

I beg to differ, once your time is served you become an ex-convict.
Anyway, I think he was commenting on the drug laws making felons of people who are not criminals in the traditional sense.

Quote:

"I also won a trip to Australia, where I will be the guest at the Miss Wagga-Wagga competition,"

Decisions, decisions....Google it....or let my imagination entertain me for a while.

Cyber Wolf · 01-07-2005, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breakingnews

It would have been lovely had Charles lived to bask in the adoration of fans at the premiere of "Ray." Charles was able to view a cut of the film shortly before he died ...

Bullitt · 01-08-2005, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breakingnews

CINCINNATI (AP) _ The projectiles are lighter than horseshoes and safer than lawn darts, but the idea's the same: Players try to hit a target several paces away.
The game is called cornhole, or corn toss, because players try to throw cloth bags filled with corn into a hole. It is an Ohio phenomenon that is catching on elsewhere around the Midwest and beyond.
"It's easy to play, you don't have to dig a pit, drive stakes or tear up your lawn," said Mike Whitton, founder and president of the American Cornhole Association.

Hell yeah cornhole!!! This game is all the rage on Ohio campuses, even rivalling the famed Beer Pong here at OU. The game may seem rediculous, but it is soooo addictive once you get started.

wolf · 01-08-2005, 01:00 AM

Yes, but Beer Pong involves Beer, making it a superior passtime.

404Error · 01-08-2005, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breakingnews

The game is called cornhole, or corn toss, because players try to throw cloth bags filled with corn into a hole. It is an Ohio phenomenon that is catching on elsewhere around the Midwest and beyond.
"It's easy to play, you don't have to dig a pit, drive stakes or tear up your lawn," said Mike Whitton, founder and president of the American Cornhole Association.

I saw this web site and couldn't resist ordering this hat. Gotta love the looks I get when people read it. :p

Bullitt · 01-08-2005, 02:00 AM

Pshh, they would only be giving looks of jealousy 'round here. And wolf, Athens being the rediculous drinking town with a football problem that it is, we have managed to turn cornhole into a drinking game. Yes the future of our nation is bright...

xoxoxoBruce · 01-08-2005, 11:01 PM

Corn liquor?

breakingnews · 01-10-2005, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Corn liquor?

Actually, corn liquor is a popular drink in China. We drank this one brand, Yi Li Te, all the way through our trip in the western region. It's okay going down; hangover was mild, but it gave me the worst liquor shits the next day. Sucks that there aren't many toilets (only trenches) out there.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-10-2005, 09:26 PM

Is that why the Buddhist monks wear robes?

01-07-2005, 02:13 PM	#1
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	even the biggest and best screw up For lack of better things to do this afternoon ('twas an extremely slow day in the corporate world, and all has but come to a halt on the AP's business desk here in NYC), I'll pass along some of these gems. They come from a more-than-occasional collection of funny stuff and terrible fuck-ups produced by AP staff worldwide. The final 2004 wrap-up was sent today. Some highlights: Headlines - Singapore police ban plans for Christmas party, saying it would be a gay event Colleges are not sure how to stop binge drinking Dollar rallies after falling to eight-month low against euro, before rallying Gay marriage not good for children, opponents tell Calif. court Russian election chief criticizes bill that would make it harder to register patties DESTINY'S CHILD: GROUP GETS TOGETHER FOR A QUICKIE Writethrus (story updates) - Eds: LEADS with 3 grafs to CORRECT that Biscuit and Gravy were running mates, sted opponents Eds: AMs. SUBS graf 18, One-third of, to CORRECT 'born-again' sted 'born-against' They said it - "There's been a very big smelly monkey on our back for four years," said U.S. Sen. Bob Graham, D-Fla. "I am tired of Florida being the laughingstock of America." "Maybe I am a convicted felon but I am not a criminal," said Smitty, who has a criminal record involving illegal drugs. YORK, Pa. (AP) _ A 15-year-old sophomore at Christian School of York has won the title of Miss Teen of America 2004-2005. In addition to carrying the title for two years, Jayde Paup won a $5,000 scholarship and $2,500 in cash. "I also won a trip to Australia, where I will be the guest at the Miss Wagga-Wagga competition," she said. Funny names - SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (AP) _ A man who once weighed more than half a ton has lost 321 pounds under the care of a team of doctors and hopes to lose 450 pounds more. Patrick Deuel, 42, of Valentine, Neb., weighed 1,072 pounds when he was admitted to Sioux Falls' Avera McKennan Hospital eight weeks ago. ... A group known as the League of Human Dignity helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed. LOS ANGELES (AP) _ Ruth Manning, a veteran character actress who gained recognition playing Aunt Harriet in Kraft Real Mayonnaise TV ads in the 1980s, has died. She was believed to be 84. Manning died Nov. 19 of heart failure while auditioning for a television role, said her agent, Greg Mayo. NEWARK, Ohio (AP) _ A former executive director of the Licking County Big Brothers and Big Sisters has pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a young boy. And the plain ole ridiculous shit - It would have been lovely had Charles lived to bask in the adoration of fans at the premiere of "Ray." Charles was able to view a cut of the film shortly before he died ... CINCINNATI (AP) _ The projectiles are lighter than horseshoes and safer than lawn darts, but the idea's the same: Players try to hit a target several paces away. The game is called cornhole, or corn toss, because players try to throw cloth bags filled with corn into a hole. It is an Ohio phenomenon that is catching on elsewhere around the Midwest and beyond. "It's easy to play, you don't have to dig a pit, drive stakes or tear up your lawn," said Mike Whitton, founder and president of the American Cornhole Association. RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) _ Two women whose testimony in a child molestation case put a man behind bars for 20 years have recanted, with one saying her grandmother pressured them to finger the wrong man to protect a cousin. BUFFALO, Wyo. (AP) _ Whenever Fern and Dale Johnson visited family here, they couldn't help feeling a bit envious. People were so friendly, and the pace of life in the rural community was much slower _ and more to their liking _ than back home in Nebraska. BC-Martha Stewart-CEO,0666 (the numbers following a story slug is the total word count of the text) FORT COLLINS, Colo. (AP) _ Organizers of a gelatin wrestling event at a bar say some proceeds will be donated to a foundation created in memory of a Colorado State University sophomore who died of alcohol poisoning. MOSCOW (AP) _ Gazpromneftegaz chief confirms his company will bid in Yuganskneftegaz auction. PHOTOS OF NOTE: _ JAPAN HOT SPA MONKEYS

01-08-2005, 01:00 AM	#6
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Yes, but Beer Pong involves Beer, making it a superior passtime. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

01-08-2005, 02:00 AM	#8
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	Pshh, they would only be giving looks of jealousy 'round here. And wolf, Athens being the rediculous drinking town with a football problem that it is, we have managed to turn cornhole into a drinking game. Yes the future of our nation is bright... __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

01-08-2005, 11:01 PM	#9
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Corn liquor? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-10-2005, 09:26 PM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Is that why the Buddhist monks wear robes? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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