Dealing with my mother in law's stay in the hospital

chrisinhouston · 07-08-2012, 04:52 PM

My 85 year old mother in law went into the hospital on Tuesday to have her shoulder joint replaced as it was pretty worn out from arthritis and other age related wear and tear. The surgery went fine but she is really loopy from the pain pills and just being out of her normal routine. She was in the hospital for4 days and now is at a rehab hospital so they can get her to the point she can go back to her apartment. Here are few of the high points from this week:

1. Thursday night our phone rang at 4am, my wife grabs it and it's her mother. She told my wife she was at that church down that road and couldn't get to the bathroom and could we come help her. My wife finally got through to her that she was in the hospital and needed to call the nurse using the big call button on the remote that was pinned to her pillow. She called back 10 minutes later saying she kept pushing the button and the TV was going on and off. Finally she pushed the right button.

2. She is an incredibly fussy eater and only likes to eat what she cooks so my wife has been taking her breakfast and dinner. I refuse to participate in this part of the care.

3. Called us last night at 2am because the nurse took out the IV from her arm and she wanted my wife to say it was ok. My wife reminded her that she is not a nurse or a doctor.

4. We gave up and took her dog to a kennel for this week. The dog is a little mix, like a shitzpoo or something along the Benji line. The dog drives me crazy, she shits and pees every where and a lot! It doesn't matter if I just took her for a walk and she peed 10 times in a 1/4 mile, she comes in the back door and pees on my floor. Last night I found a turd in the dining room which had the doors closed so I don't know how she pooped there. So I penned her into the kitchen area with half sheet of plywood across the doorway and the kitchen has a tile floor so it should be easier to clean the pee and she barks and cries and yelps and scratches at the plywood. She wants to be with me or my wife and sit in our laps all day just like she does at home. The dog is very overweight because besides getting dog food she gets cereal and milk for breakfast and a crackers and cheese for lunch and usually whatever my M in L is eating for dinner like a pork loin and potatoes. It will cost us $23 per day to kennel her but our sanity and carpets are worth it. Oh and my dog hates her dog, too.

5. She called this afternoon and told my wife that they tried to take away her dirty linen bag from her room for laundering but she insisted they leave it because she wants us to come get it and bring it home and do the laundry as she might not like the detergent they use. She claims to have some kind of skin sensitivity to laundry detergents other then the one she buys. My wife had to convince her that it was ok for the hospital to do the washing and she wasn't going to do it!

xoxoxoBruce · 07-08-2012, 05:00 PM

Remember when you first started dating her baby and worrying mom to death? Paybacks are a bitch.

monster · 07-08-2012, 05:01 PM

I kinda feel sorry for her....... Was she pretty active and independant before?

Sucks for you, though, for sure.

wolf · 07-11-2012, 12:36 PM

Old folks react very differently to pain and anxiety meds, also the disruption of their routines can make them seem really nutty.

Now that she's in the physical rehab place, she'll likely settle down.

Hope all goes well for her.

If she were still in the hospital-hospital I would have had all kinds of hints and tricks regarding dealing with hospital routines and parking garages. I'm glad you didn't need that level of information!

chrisinhouston · 07-11-2012, 01:13 PM

Thanks Wolf and yes she is in a brand new rehab place. She is getting both physical therapy though not on the new shoulder yet but other parts and also will be getting OT for adapting to her situation as she continues to heal up.

She hates hospitals and while I can't blame her she worries about loosing her independence and ending up in assisted living or worse but the reality is she can't be at home yet. The rehab folks have written July 19th on the marker board as her target release date so she has something to strive for.

I've seen my grandparents grow old and die (one at home) and was caretaker for both of my parents until the end, not sure if I even want to live long enough to be like they were...

Trilby · 07-11-2012, 10:03 PM

google 'sundowners' syndrome. She may be experiencing that.

07-08-2012, 04:52 PM	#1
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	Dealing with my mother in law's stay in the hospital My 85 year old mother in law went into the hospital on Tuesday to have her shoulder joint replaced as it was pretty worn out from arthritis and other age related wear and tear. The surgery went fine but she is really loopy from the pain pills and just being out of her normal routine. She was in the hospital for4 days and now is at a rehab hospital so they can get her to the point she can go back to her apartment. Here are few of the high points from this week: 1. Thursday night our phone rang at 4am, my wife grabs it and it's her mother. She told my wife she was at that church down that road and couldn't get to the bathroom and could we come help her. My wife finally got through to her that she was in the hospital and needed to call the nurse using the big call button on the remote that was pinned to her pillow. She called back 10 minutes later saying she kept pushing the button and the TV was going on and off. Finally she pushed the right button. 2. She is an incredibly fussy eater and only likes to eat what she cooks so my wife has been taking her breakfast and dinner. I refuse to participate in this part of the care. 3. Called us last night at 2am because the nurse took out the IV from her arm and she wanted my wife to say it was ok. My wife reminded her that she is not a nurse or a doctor. 4. We gave up and took her dog to a kennel for this week. The dog is a little mix, like a shitzpoo or something along the Benji line. The dog drives me crazy, she shits and pees every where and a lot! It doesn't matter if I just took her for a walk and she peed 10 times in a 1/4 mile, she comes in the back door and pees on my floor. Last night I found a turd in the dining room which had the doors closed so I don't know how she pooped there. So I penned her into the kitchen area with half sheet of plywood across the doorway and the kitchen has a tile floor so it should be easier to clean the pee and she barks and cries and yelps and scratches at the plywood. She wants to be with me or my wife and sit in our laps all day just like she does at home. The dog is very overweight because besides getting dog food she gets cereal and milk for breakfast and a crackers and cheese for lunch and usually whatever my M in L is eating for dinner like a pork loin and potatoes. It will cost us $23 per day to kennel her but our sanity and carpets are worth it. Oh and my dog hates her dog, too. 5. She called this afternoon and told my wife that they tried to take away her dirty linen bag from her room for laundering but she insisted they leave it because she wants us to come get it and bring it home and do the laundry as she might not like the detergent they use. She claims to have some kind of skin sensitivity to laundry detergents other then the one she buys. My wife had to convince her that it was ok for the hospital to do the washing and she wasn't going to do it!

07-08-2012, 05:00 PM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Remember when you first started dating her baby and worrying mom to death? Paybacks are a bitch. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-08-2012, 05:01 PM	#3
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I kinda feel sorry for her....... Was she pretty active and independant before? Sucks for you, though, for sure. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

07-11-2012, 12:36 PM	#4
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Old folks react very differently to pain and anxiety meds, also the disruption of their routines can make them seem really nutty. Now that she's in the physical rehab place, she'll likely settle down. Hope all goes well for her. If she were still in the hospital-hospital I would have had all kinds of hints and tricks regarding dealing with hospital routines and parking garages. I'm glad you didn't need that level of information! __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-11-2012, 10:03 PM	#6
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	google 'sundowners' syndrome. She may be experiencing that. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

07-11-2012, 01:13 PM	#5
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	Thanks Wolf and yes she is in a brand new rehab place. She is getting both physical therapy though not on the new shoulder yet but other parts and also will be getting OT for adapting to her situation as she continues to heal up. She hates hospitals and while I can't blame her she worries about loosing her independence and ending up in assisted living or worse but the reality is she can't be at home yet. The rehab folks have written July 19th on the marker board as her target release date so she has something to strive for. I've seen my grandparents grow old and die (one at home) and was caretaker for both of my parents until the end, not sure if I even want to live long enough to be like they were...

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