60 Things Worth Shortening Your Life For

xoxoxoBruce · 08-13-2007, 03:59 PM

From Esquire.

Quote:

1. Danger dogs.
The Tijuana delicacy -- a hot dog wrapped in bacon, fried, and topped with mayo -- has made its way to San Diego and Los Angeles, sold from carts outside stadiums, clubs, and wherever hungry drunks congregate. See also:

~snip~

7. Bullfighting school at the California Academy of Tauromaquia.
One of the only (legal) bullfighting schools in the country. Someone's getting wounded in this battle. Hopefully, it's the bull.

~snip~

12. Punching Barry Bonds in the face.

~snip~

23. Mountain biking in Moab, Utah.
Possible dehydration, heatstroke, and disorientation. Probably the most inspiring panorama you'll ever see.

~snip~

29. Playing tackle football past the age of 25.

~snip~

37. Speaking truth to power.

~snip~

40. Attending a Glasgow Rangers versus Glasgow Celtic soccer match.
Preferably in the Scottish Cup final. Imagine: Red Sox versus Yankees, if the ALCS involved sectarian hatred, hooligan rioting, and the occasional death threat.

~snip~

47. The Krispy Kreme burger at the Gateway Grizzlies ballpark concession stand in St. Louis.
A bacon cheeseburger with glazed doughnuts in place of a bun. A thousand-plus calories. Minor league gimmick; major league angina. $4.50.

~snip~

49-59. The 18-Hour Vegas Vacation.

For each activity, multiply the time spent by 100 and subtract the total from your life expectancy. Repeat twice annually until death.

Sunning (sans sunscreen) to a robust burn while marinating in premium tequila after dozing off at the pool: 1 Hour

Chain-smoking unfiltered Kamel Reds to intimidate fellow poker players: 2 1/2 Hours

Agonizing over minor scoring fluctuations in a meaningless NBA game: 2 1/2 Hours

Devouring hare stuffed with duck confit and foie-gras-and-blood sauce at Guy Savoy, not to mention the 12 other courses: 4 Hours

Watching Cirque du Soleil's Love, at the Mirage. (No life sacrificed, just dignity): 1 1/2 Hours

Impersonating Nick Nolte with a bottle of Grey Goose at Tryst at the Wynn: 1 Hour

Wandering downtown in search of the Four Queens, one of only two Vegas casinos that still offer single-deck, 3-2 payoff, dealer-stays-soft-17 blackjack: 1/2 Hour

Talking shit to strangers with unplaceable accents at the table while alternating caffeinated and alcoholic drinks in ten-minute intervals: 3 1/4 Hours

Threatening to exact bloody revenge on the firstborn child of a stingy dealer: 1/2 Hour

Touching Brandie when it "feels rights" at Crazy Horse Too: 1 Hour (Ten Songs)

"Date" with suspiciously underdressed woman sitting alone at the hotel bar: 1 Hour (Okay, 15 Minutes)

Check 'em all out, at the link, and ponder if they are right for you.

jester · 08-13-2007, 05:06 PM

8 - Butter - I like butter (in food anyway, not by itself). Isn't it better for you than Margarine or some kind of "spread"?

Hime · 08-13-2007, 05:07 PM

Few of those appeal to me. My preferred ways of shortening my life span are taking walks by myself in the city, moshing, and eating way too much sugar.

and the occasional edge-play.

Cicero · 08-14-2007, 11:21 AM

Ha! Haaa! I prefer to try anything at least once. (that can't be healthy)

Now what's edge-play? *google-google*

Shawnee123 · 08-14-2007, 11:30 AM

"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

--Helen Keller

lumberjim · 08-14-2007, 05:15 PM

I think it's important to note that 'fucking with Lumberjim' did not make the list.

nuff said.

theotherguy · 08-14-2007, 05:22 PM

So we shouldn't try fucking with lumberjim or could do it at will and not lose and years?

Cicero · 08-14-2007, 05:23 PM

lumberjim · 08-14-2007, 05:32 PM

you eyeing me up?

theotherguy · 08-14-2007, 05:34 PM

Looks like a little lj fucking is on the horizon. Wait...that does not sound right...

Cicero · 08-14-2007, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

you eyeing me up?

Yea I am- I think you have a deal going with Esquire.

DanaC · 08-14-2007, 06:46 PM

tog.....somethin you wanna share with us honey?

lumberjim · 08-14-2007, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicero

Yea I am- I think you have a deal going with Esquire.

They were gonna put me on that list....but I said...."Dudes.... Is it really worth shortening your life over? Cuz I would consider putting me on that list to be 'fucking with me.' " They immediately saw the oozing gobs of good sense that that made and left me off the list.

Cicero · 08-16-2007, 10:55 AM

See- I am on the ball........cuz that's how I roll?

*sorry*
Forget you read that everyone?

08-14-2007, 11:21 AM	#4
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Ha! Haaa! I prefer to try anything at least once. (that can't be healthy) Now what's edge-play? google-google __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

08-14-2007, 11:30 AM	#5
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." --Helen Keller __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-14-2007, 05:15 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I think it's important to note that 'fucking with Lumberjim' did not make the list. nuff said. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

08-14-2007, 05:22 PM	#7
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	So we shouldn't try fucking with lumberjim or could do it at will and not lose and years? __________________ I should be working.

08-14-2007, 05:23 PM	#8
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	__________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

08-13-2007, 05:06 PM	#2
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	8 - Butter - I like butter (in food anyway, not by itself). Isn't it better for you than Margarine or some kind of "spread"?

08-13-2007, 05:07 PM	#3
Hime Extraordinary Machine Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Outside of Washington, DC Posts: 307	Few of those appeal to me. My preferred ways of shortening my life span are taking walks by myself in the city, moshing, and eating way too much sugar. and the occasional edge-play.

08-14-2007, 05:32 PM	#9
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	you eyeing me up? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

08-14-2007, 05:34 PM	#10
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	Looks like a little lj fucking is on the horizon. Wait...that does not sound right... __________________ I should be working.

08-14-2007, 06:46 PM	#12
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	tog.....somethin you wanna share with us honey?

08-16-2007, 10:55 AM	#14
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	See- I am on the ball........cuz that's how I roll? sorry Forget you read that everyone? __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

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