Study Shows Drop Bears More Likely to Attack Non-Australians

[footfootfoot]

This just in from one of my Australian correspondents:

http://www.australiangeographic.com....says-study.htm

DROP BEARS TARGET PEOPLE with foreign accents more often than those who are Australian-born, according to new research.

The study, conducted in a drop-bear hot-spot in New South Wales, aimed to gather data around the behaviour and ecology of the elusive species.

[Lamplighter]

Obama is proposing high level funding for a National Institute for Brain Research (NIBR).
This is an opportunity for the Aussies to go for the big $ ...

Options and Priorities:
1) Re-direct drop-bear brain impulses to target both Aussies and immigrants
2) Develop and patent a short-acting nasal spray to modify accents of immigrants and tourists

Option 1 would reduce or eliminate discrimination that all Aussies feel when ignored by the drop-bears;
however, this option might lead to over-work and exhaustion among drop-bear populations
Option 2 could have financial viability where ever drop-bears have/will become an invasive species.

[ZenGum]

Well, of course they do. All true Aussies know that Drop Bears are deterred by the smell of the Vegemite we rub behind our ears before going bush.

[orthodoc]

There you go. For northern Ontarians, it's Skin-So-Soft. Reputed to work against black flies. Not that I ever noticed ...

Rancid bear grease, that's what does it. Works against, well, anything.