February Free-For-All on the Freeways (and Steering-Wheel Snooker)

[monster]

Well actually more the surface streets. but I like to lie for a little alliteration.


So anyhoo, now the ice on the roads has melted, this week I have been noticing a new post-winter road phenomenon caused by extreme snowplow use. No, not the potholes -although they are particularly spectacular this year- this one is the imagine-your-own road markings game. All lane markings and stop lines are gone -scraped off by the metal monsters- and with them, apparently, not only the Ann Arborites' memories that there ever were markings, but also their ability to drive in a straight line.

Roads that use to be three lanes in each direction with a central suicide lane are now a single, forty-foot wide suicide lane in which your mission is to prevent anyone from passing you -in either direction. As far as I can tell, you must get bonus points for forcing other cars into potholes -the bigger the hole the more points you get. Also the lack of stoplines apparently renders all traffic lights obsolete. Survival of the fittest prevails, triple bonus points if you "pothole" another driver in the middle of the intersection. It's bumper billiards.

...ooh that gives me an idea.... I think I'm going to start my own game of Steering-Wheel Snooker. For every red car I pothole, I score 1 point, but then I can pothole a color of my choice and score the associated points. (yellow=2, green=3, brown=4, blue=5, pink=6, black=7) When all reds are gone, then I must pothole the colors in order to score the points. Of course if I pothole the white, then there's a penalty. Points tbd at a later date. In court. Because that's a cop car.

There's an awful lot of red cars around (including mine) -I wonder what score i can achieve before they finally fix the roads? beest says in Speed-trap Snooker, cops reverse the pink and black because black cars are more common, but this is Ann Arbor, so I think I'll be fine -especially if I count all the floral cars as pink.

I could promote my game on craigslist ....maybe it even needs it own website. I could sell bumper sticker so you know other playas when you see them. Or golf-ball-type things to go on aerials? Maybe you get double points for potholing another playa if you are also displaying your sticker. Or maybe the sticker turns you into an honorary white car and render immunity..... perhaps I need to market "You've been snookered" stickers for the victims -although that would require slowing down.....

Anyone else in the Frozen North up for a challenge match? I think it will work...