I lied to a cop today

[Clodfobble]

And I almost got caught.


I got pulled over doing 76 in a 65. First off, apparently APD has updated their fleet recently, because it was a completely unmarked cop car that looked like an extra-beefy silver sports car. Normally I'm really good at spotting speed traps. Also, not only was I speeding, but apparently I have a broken taillight. And meanwhile the baby's screaming in the back of the car because we've stopped driving but I haven't come to take him out. So the cop starts taking my license and registration, looks it over, and suddenly asks, "What kind of corrective lenses do you wear?"

Now, I had LASIK surgery in 1999, and every single time I've renewed my license since then I have tried to get that restriction taken off. I tell them I had the surgery, I take the eye test, they say great, I passed--and then when my license comes in the mail it still says I need corrective lenses. But I figured it doesn't really matter since no one cares about that anyway, right?

Except apparently this douchebag.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but for some reason instead of explaining that I just smoothly replied, "Oh, I'm wearing contacts."

"Take off your sunglasses, let me see them."



So I did.

"Huh. I don't see them."

"They're in there," I insisted, managing to smile, and even turning my head a bit to help him. He stared and stared, asking me whether they were hard or soft, disposable or not, until finally he said, "Okay, I think I saw it just then."

I was so terrified he was going to ask me to take one out. If I'd gotten caught lying I think I probably would have just started bawling right there.