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My best friend's parents-in-law were in a similar situation... deeply Mormon people, thery were married and actually had a few kids before he finally admitted to himself and to her that he was gay. They are now divorced, and while it was difficult, I am certain that their lives are now (and will continue to be) better for separating. Who wants to look back on their life in old age, and think "My God, I wasted my life pretending to be intimate with someone who didn't make me happy?" Those are years that you can never have back, so once one realizes that the choices they've made will not bring them happiness, they can be cowardly and hide from them, or they can make some new choices.
No one is claiming that it it's not difficult, but everybody gets their turn wading through shit once in a while, and no amount of advice or words of comfort will make it easy.
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Hot Pastrami!
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